Dislocated Souls: Skyhold
by LonelyAgain
Summary: A continuation of Dislocated Souls. Starts after the destruction of Haven.
1. 2 Cloudreach, 9:41

Day 62. Some month, day 2. 9:41

Most mages start with fire. And so I built fire. It wouldn't bring back those lost, but it would burn. I looked at it. I wanted it to burn forever. Still kneeling in the snow, I TWISTED the funeral pyre. I knew veilfire was the memory of fire, and now each moment the fire burned would add to that memory. I tilted my head, still LOOKING. Reaching into the glowy mist of the fire, I spun the glow into a thin strand. I thought of my people, the ones I lost, and tied those memories to this place. Another strand, and another. One for each. If this fire ever went out, then a touch would reactivate its memory, and my lost people won't be forgotten. If I'd done it right. I opened my eyes, and purple glints began to mix with the red flames. The sound had changed, as well. It almost sounded like someone crying mixed with the crackle of the wood.

I heard a breath suck in behind me. I turned. Garalen and Eadras stood there, eyes wide. I tried my voice, wanting to say I'm sorry. All that came out was a hoarse croak. More of my people came up. Elias, Feren. Jailyn, Leorah. They were all looking at me, staring. Were they mad? They had every right to be. I tried speaking again, and it sounded awful, but the words came. "I'm sorry."

Leorah moved first. I flinched as she lifted her hand to my shorn hair. "Oh, honey," she said. "Why are you sorry?"

"Tanya. Davhalla. Hannah. Chris. More," I croaked. I guess I'd screamed myself hoarse. I turned back to the fire. It was nearly evenly split, purple and orange, as the physical fuel was consumed.

"So many live, Ethelathun. Can you not focus on us? We need you now," she said.

I sighed. They needed me. I couldn't sit here and die. You can never die when you want to. I stood, stumbling. They led me down toward the camp. I looked back at the fire. I wanted it to BURN, to scream to the sky that people had been loved here. If I had my way, it would burn forever.

They hovered around me, not touching me. A few looked scared, but they didn't seem scared of me. I thought of what I knew of the game. Our losses were small, he'd said. Were our losses small now? Had I made things better or worse? I'd lost a sixth of mine. How many had been lost in all? I needed to find out. "How many?" I croaked.

"How many are left?" asked Eadras. I shook my head. "How many did we lose?" No again. I gestured at the humans. "How many of them were lost, or remain?" I nodded. "They're still counting, but they think maybe one in five is missing. We fared better, Da'len. They had thought they'd lose half, so they're pleased."

A glass of something appeared in my hand. Wine. I almost laughed. It had basically no alcohol in it. I wanted to be drunk, and I'd fixed it so I couldn't get that way. Someone tried to put a blanket on me, but I shrugged it off. I wasn't cold. I turned to them. "Rest," I croaked. "Tomorrow… Long."

They left me alone. Most bowed or curtsied while they left. I was going to have to put a stop to that. I stood, needing to walk. I'd gone about three steps when an arm appeared to my left. I looked up into a pair of grey eyes. His mustache twitched. "Care for a stroll, Chrissy?"

We walked, and he talked. "I've only been here for 3 days, and on each of those days you have surprised me. Don't get me wrong, Lord Trevelyan is a compelling man, but you, you seem to have a finger in everything. Am I wrong?" I shrugged. "Many people are wondering how packed wagons ended up in the horse fields. I seem to recall someone asking her attendants if the wagons were packed. So I have a question. Are you a seer?"

"Define Seer." I croaked.

"Oh dear, that will never do. Let's get you to some help." I stopped walking. "I promise you, you will not be taking resources from people who need them. I was thinking only of honey lemon tea. I assume I am correct about your hesitation?" I started walking again. "You know, my dear. Haven already has enough Martyrs. We really don't need one more. I have a feeling the reason the inquisition is in such good shape is at least partially because of you. Yes, yes. Soldiers, fighting, pointy swords. Terribly bloody." He must have noticed my look.

"I'm speaking of food and clothing. Someone even packed my favorite tea. Here we are." He ushered me into a chair in front of a small fire. He performed the familiar rituals with flair. "And just a dollop of honey on the spoon. Take a sip. It will help." How could anyone resist him? He actually managed to coax a small smile for a moment. "I didn't have the time to form the attachments you obviously did. But if you need to cry, then I am quite used to holding you by now. Your people seem afraid you'll break if they touch you." He put a warm hand on my shoulder. "Your skin is ice. Where is your jacket?"

I shrugged. My voice was smoother this time, though still hoarse. Probably from the tea. "A child was cold."

He sighed. "You, Chrysopal, are a treasure. We shall have to be careful you aren't stolen from us." He looked up. "I see your guard has arrived. Don't worry, Ser. I wouldn't harm her."

I looked up. Elias was standing there. He looked worried. "The Ambassador would like to speak with you. At your convenience, she said."

"Might I suggest a change of clothes? You still have bits of whatever was on the floor of the temple gracing your leggings. And it appears I'm not the only one to think so." Trust him to worry about clothes.

Leorah trundled up with an armful of fabric. "Ser mage, would you mind if we borrowed your tent a moment?"

"Be my guest."

She helped me into my turquoise tunic, cream leggings, and leather vest. "Your hair, Chrissy."

"It stays." My voice was stronger, but still hoarse.

"You could…"

"I won't."

"Of course." Her face fell.

I held out my hand. "I'm sorry. That was rude."

"It's okay."

"It's not." I gave her a gentle hug. "I'm heart-sore. I'll recover."

"We loved them, too."

Dressing didn't take long, and I bid Dorian farewell. Elias walked next to me as he led me to where Josephine had her things set up. She was happy to see me, speaking of how glad she was to see so many survive. "The children," she said, "were all safe. We saw the elves take them into the Chantry. Thank you for that."

"That was Philomena and Marta. You should thank them."

"Did you know, Chrissy?" She asked it gently.

"No. Not for certain. So many possibilities. There were so many threads to keep track of, and I could have been wrong. It depended on Sam, and his choices. He is a fulcrum upon which the world turns."

"Are you a Seer?" Why does everyone ask me that?

"I Saw once, you could say. It was a game, and every choice the Herald made, something different happened. I watched many of those choices, but certainly not all. And things are different than they were. I've not Seen since." Truth. I gave her truth. Not the whole truth, but enough. The truth was, in some ways, a lie. But I knew it was a good decision when I saw the Nightingale step out of the shadows.

"The things you say still sound implausible, but you are either the best liar I've ever seen or speaking the truth." Leliana speaks so thoughtfully, sometimes.

"I'm hoping you won't resort to torture, but I've been expecting it. I can't say more, really. What if I change something that shouldn't be changed? What if I'm wrong? I can't predict his choices, and everything hinges on them. When the soldiers appeared in the hills, I knew for certain that fire in the sky was coming. If they'd not appeared, nothing was lost, but Ethelathe could have been hit by our human people, disgruntled and wanting to hurt. And no, I'm not sure where we go from here. There are many possibilities. Some are more likely than others. If I tell you, I may make a less desirable outcome more likely. The choices branch out so far, I can't keep track. And I worry that my memory of a long ago game is faulty. Plus, some of the important choices belong to you. And the Ambassador. All of you. Your choices will affect his choices. I can't remember them all." I swallowed. My throat hurt.

"Are you Rivaini?"

"No. I'm from Virginia. I've told you this."

She settled her shoulders, crossing her arms. "A Seer. Focused on a moment. That explains much."

"I was a Seer, in a way, I suppose. Long ago and far away. I Saw only once, and now I just remember. May I go?"

"You fear me."

"You consider killing me on a regular basis."

"Not for a while. You have value here, Chrysopal. Ethelathun. I'll not toss it away because of a Vision you can't explain." Her eyes got far away. "I once had a Vision of my own. I understand better than you think." Something in me eased at that, and I nodded. "Get some rest. You've done good for us, and we don't forget." Her voice was much kinder. A trick? I didn't know.

Josie walked out of the tent with me. "I'm sorry for the deception. We had to know. You do understand?"

I smiled at her. "I was expecting it. Don't worry."

Elias was waiting outside, eyes wide. He swept a bow to me, and took up position beside me. "Don't pull that crap, Elias. I'm no different than I was a month ago when you were wondering if there was something wrong with me."

He grinned. "I've always known there was something wrong with you. You're not like anyone I've ever met." I sighed, and we walked off.

He found me a cot among our people, and insisted I lay down. "Rest, my Lady. Let us handle things for now." My go bag was next to the cot. He left, and I decided to write this. I'm putting it away shortly. Tomorrow will be a new day.


	2. 3 Cloudreach, 9:41

3 Cloudreach, 9:41

No real point in keeping track of the number of days, is there. My dreams were soft. I hadn't expected that. Hazy and just out of reach, like I'd been wrapped in cotton wool for the night. I remember someone stroking my shorn hair. A smell. Sandalwood, or similar, and a surprised voice. I remember "You know me!" I woke.

It was later than I expected. There was sunlight in the valley, which means that it was at least mid-morning. Everyone was striking the tents and packing up. We were heading out. I sat up on my cot, my bones sore, of all things. "I can't help that," I heard. "Caught in a trap pain, and you can't gnaw your foot off. Why would you want to?"

"Exactly, Cole. It's nice to see you."

"You do. You see me. Why?" I just smiled at him. He was sitting at the end of my bed. "A hug? I can give a hug."

"I know. You want to help. I would like a hug." His thin arms came around me, and I put mine around him. He's bony. So frail.

"I'm not. I'm just me." As we separated, he gave a small smile. "That's better. You have to get up. They're coming." At that point, someone knocked on the tent pole. When I looked back, Cole was gone. The hug had helped, so I got up and opened the flap.

Eadras was outside. "They have to take the tent now." I nodded, grabbing my bag. He hesitated, and then spoke. "The fire still burns. Is it supposed to be purple?"

"It is. It's the color of Sorrow." I started breaking down the cot.

"You don't have to do that."

"I know. Is everyone else up? Have they eaten?"

"We've taken care of them. The boys want to see you."

"I want to see them. Let's go."

I reunited with my people. Something settled in them when I was back among them, and that helped something settle in me. They were too few, but they were still here. The bonds were stronger, for some reason. I'll never understand people.

The inner circle and advisors were all on horseback up ahead. Except for The Iron Bull. He was walking among his Chargers. We were heading North. There were probably only three hundred people. Maybe more, maybe less. I wasn't much interested in counting. We walked all day, only stopping after full dark. The animals were fed, the people were fed. Everyone's going to bed, exhausted.


	3. 4 Cloudreach, 9:41

**4 Cloudreach, 9:41**

I had to hunt my sphere last night. It was a ways away. I just removed it. Poof, gone. It hurt for a moment. It was gone just like Haven was gone. I kept some of the flowers, though, carrying them back to where I slept. I figured it would be a few more days before he'd calmed enough to speak to me. I'd never lied to him, and I never actually misled him. I asked questions and said "if", letting him mislead himself. Will he remember that?

I must have been musing aloud, because behind me I heard, "He will, once he thinks back on your conversations." I spun, and Solas was there. "You were quite careful, thinking about it. 'Who do you think is the easiest target to a large human male drunk who feels like getting frisky?' You asked me that, and then you answered the question. You were entirely truthful. You never once said you wanted the alcohol reduced for that reason. Additionally, you let my own anger get the better of me, and then smoothed it away, taking my suspicion with it. Every time I've mentioned deception, you've stressed that you've not lied. From what I can tell, you have not." He was too calm. There was something in his posture. In that moment, I expected to die.

"It's too easy to be caught in a lie. It's better not to tell an untruth to begin with. I know what they do to people who suspect too much, do things in unusual ways, speak in riddles. To those who see things that haven't happened yet, in my world. They're caged, trapped, plied with drugs to be compliant, until they're willing to lie and say they see nothing. They call it 'treatment' for 'mental health issues'. One of those treatments is called electroshock therapy. They strap you down and force lightning – electricity – through your brain. Until you're 'normal', or can at least pretend to be. It helps some live a 'normal' life. It's not intended as a cruelty, it supposedly doesn't hurt, and most recipients appreciate it. And then there's here. Where instead of 'help' I could have been burnt at the stake like Andraste herself. Being different can be hard. Devastating, even. It's easier to tell bits of the truth and let people draw their own conclusions. Misdirection."

"Is that why you didn't say Haven was going to burn?"

"Smart man, you're asking questions instead of making assumptions. The easy answer would be yes." I looked at him. "But that wasn't the only reason. I'd rather not talk about it, right now, if you don't mind."

"I mind, but consider the subject changed. In a moment. What other information is floating in your head?"

"The names of the seven dwarves, a large repertoire of Disney music, probably thirty thousand books, easy, the best way to get to Walmart from my old home, among lots of other things. Why do you ask?" I had a bit of my old tart tongue in that.

"All true, I'm sure."

"Indeed." He made a noise. He doesn't like it when I use that word, just as it frustrates me when he does it. I sighed, and looked out into the fade, turning away from him. You could see my fire from here. It existed in both places. "I don't trust you, Solas. You are ruthless, going for your own goals regardless of the collateral damage. If you even suspected something would get in your way, you'd destroy it. I'm not sure whether I'm in your way. Either way, saying anything could only hurt me, not help me."

"Again, your words drip with truth." His voice hardened. "You believe this. You aren't concerned that you might be destroyed just on suspicion you may interfere at some point?"

"It wouldn't matter. I've tried to die twice now, but wishing won't stop my heart. The pain just keeps going. You can't die when you want to. If you killed me, it might hurt less."

I glanced back at him, and saw his brows knit. "Tried to die twice?" His voice was curious and concerned.

"Never mind."

"I don't think so. Why would you want to die?"

"Because I failed so badly. Twenty percent of my elven people are gone, because I didn't do it right, and unlike Cole, I can't go back and do it again until I get it right. With rare exceptions, time moves forward, endlessly."

"The Commander expected fifty percent losses. He got thirty."

I made a slashing motion with my hand. "Then it really wasn't enough. I couldn't even drop the loss rate in half."

I felt him move up behind me. "So soon? I'd hope to talk more before the end."

He stilled. "You think I'm about to kill you?"

"I've been told it's easier when they're facing away from you. Not that I've ever…" I sucked in a breath. My heart hurt. "I don't know. I don't know if I killed them. Did I kill them, Solas?"

He remained behind me, but I felt a hand brush my hair. "Kill who?"

"Those mages. Four died."

"No, Da'asha. You didn't kill them." The hand toyed with a ragged end.

I let out a breath. "Then I can honestly say I haven't ever taken a life. I've never even hunted before. Thank you for that. Can you kill, here, in the fade?"

"I can. But I have no need to do so tonight. You are a mystery, Chrysopal. This conversation has not gone as I expected."

"You expected me to apologize?"

"Never that." There was a smile in his voice. "You need rest."

"I don't. I'm fine. Besides, I'm sleeping right now."

"You need more than sleep. Perhaps you will find a home soon. Then you would be able to rest in peace."

I nearly laughed. "That's what my people say at a funeral, Solas. May she rest in peace."

"Sleep, Da'asha. I will protect your dreams. And I won't peek. Tonight." The hand smoothed the strands down near my neck. It was soothing.

I awoke rested. And I didn't remember any more dreams. I guess he can be a not-asshole sometimes. My heart didn't hurt as badly today. The Dread Wolf deceives, but he rarely out and out lies. The mages no longer weighed on my soul.

It was early, so I had plenty of time to disassemble the cot. Most of my people are sleeping in bedrolls, but they insist I use the cot. They mean it. Something about me using it soothes them. I'm not sure what.

I rekindled the firepit. I'm a mage now, so I did it the easy way. Porridge. I like porridge. It's a comfort food. By the time it was ready, everyone was rolling out of bed. The sun was close to clearing the peaks. We struck the tents, ate, took care of the fires. Then the slow exodus North continued.

We were doing a mid-afternoon rest stop for the animals when I saw Solas and Sam climbing a small crest. Sam stepped forward in awe. Looks like we're close. Sam made gestures and the advisors climbed up. Solas stepped back, using that invisibility of elves. It's not that we're invisible to humans, it's that we're just overlooked. I've never seen it work from the outside like this, though. He was forgotten, as the four of them discussed the best way to get down there.

"What is it, Chrissy? You're tense all of a sudden." Jailyn was my designated companion for this portion of the day.

"They've spotted something. See them arguing?"

"Think we're in danger?"

"Not this time. This might be a good thing for us. Can you feel the difference in the air?" I wasn't lying. There was more everything here. The world was brighter. I was surrounded by mages, and I didn't itch. The air was just so… I don't have the words. I can't describe the feeling. But I didn't itch, and I didn't even have to use Andrew's trick. Whatever it was, it was so thick here that the mages couldn't bother me. I think I'm going to like Tarasyl'an Te'las, for that alone if nothing else.

"No, Chrissy, but I can see that you do. That's good enough for me."

"This has got to stop."

"What does?"

"You just, without any clue what I was talking about, agreed something unknown to you was a good thing, based entirely on my expression."

"Yes. And?"

"Don't you have your own opinions?"

"I do. So far, they agree with you. We're not going to change, Chrissy. I promise. We're a bit in awe of you, but we won't follow you blindly into danger. Okay?" I sighed and nodded. Then she got an evil glint in her eyes. "We'll open our eyes, THEN follow you."

"That is NOT…" She burst into laughter, and I shook my head. "Evil woman."

"Can you smile for me, Chrissy?"

"Not yet. I'll get there, but it is too fresh."

"I'll hold you to that."

"Do. Did we manage to rescue my guitar?"

She grinned. "Time for OUR song, isn't it? Too much fight and die in theirs." She ran to get it.

I strapped the instrument to my back with my bag. I couldn't comfortably play and walk. However, as they finally got us all walking again, the elves were humming. We shall overcome. Someday. We crested the bluff, and Skyhold was displayed to perfection below us. I stopped to look at it, my people preceeding me. Solas has his pride. He must have selected this vantage on purpose. The first thing I noticed: it was a LOT bigger than in the game. Probably twice as large. At least. There were overgrown bits and flat areas around the walls. There were at least two more stories to the main hall.

"What do you think?" I knew he'd want to know.

"It's pretty enough, I suppose." I smiled for a moment, before my heart pulled the corners of my mouth back down. "It's nice, Solas. I'm glad you knew where it was. People are cold, and we truly need somewhere."

"Yes. We need somewhere. This place will do nicely, for the Inquisition and everything else to come." There was something to his voice, not quite a smirk.

He melded back into the stream of people and animals, and I stayed where I was for a moment more. Then I followed my musical people into Skyhold. They hummed the whole way. We set up temporary quarters in the courtyards and outskirts. The advisors insisted that we would have to get someone look at things before we braved the towers and buildings. Silly.

I set Cook up in the guard tower that the Herald hasn't been assigned anyway. Hot food, in quantity. She was willing to take the (nonexistent) risk on my say so. Threnn was livid, but I didn't give a shit. She tried to keep us from loading in the supplies, but the people hauling were mine, not hers. They ignored her, to my delight. This place felt the most home of any place I'd been so far in Thedas. I knew the kitchens and most of the everything stone was sturdy, but we're going to have to get the rubble moved to get to them. We'll start that tomorrow.

I claimed the wall area next to the impromptu kitchen for Ethelathe. I think I understand what Eadras was saying, now. Ethelathe isn't exactly a place. It's a place, but it could be any place, as long as we were there. They set up my cot against the wall in the back of the tents, under an awning. Do they really think I'm going to try to escape? I'd have to get through nearly sixty people to pee. Yes, my humans chose to stay with us.

Andrew and Garalen are sharing blankets now. So are Feren and Isa. Laura, Daniel, Dee, and Dum are curled up together like puppies. Stephen wants to stay with the soldiers. I won't stop him. We're safe tonight, and fed. I hope they all have beautiful dreams.


	4. 5 Cloudreach, 9:41

**5 Cloudreach, 9:41**

I don't remember any dreams. I awoke early, refreshed. The predawn sky was purple at the edges of the horizon, reminding of my fire. I wondered if I could see it from here. I'm going to check from the top of a tower. Some other time. It was too early to wake anyone, so I went out to the bridge. The valley below was huge. Could this be Fen'Harel's valley, where the refugees and runaways were tended and restored? I wasn't ready to ask such a thing, by a long shot. One side of the valley was cold, with snow. That's the part you see from the bridge, and can see encampments below. Not yet, of course. Later, they will come.

I climbed the walls. The sun would be peeking over the peaks anytime. From there, I could see the other side of the valley. Green. Practically verdant. Hidden from the front of the fortress. I felt something near me. A wiggling of the air. "Hello, Cole"

"How did you know?"

"The fade wiggled as you passed."

"You are better today."

"I am. How was your evening, Cole? And your morning?"

"There are many hurts here. Broken, bloody, bruised. Will I see the next sunrise? Someone tell my mother what happened."

"Who, Cole? I can write that letter."

"You would help?"

"That's why you are here. I can write letters. My people won't let me do much else. It offends them to see it."

"A symbol, she must be lovely, shining. A beacon to others. She searches and finds, Sanctuary. Gathering, Reaping, Sowing. Her hair. Her poor hair."

"I see. Leorah thinks I should stand around looking pretty? That wouldn't get the job done."

"How did you know?"

I patted his shoulder. "I know many of them very well. I'm not as good with names as with personality. Names can change."

"You stopped looking at the sky."

"I don't have a home anymore, Cole. I may never have one again."

He tilted his head up, so I could see his eyes. "Home is where the heart is."

"And my heart is split in pieces."

"Yes."

"Cole."

"I won't tell. You're right. He would be threatened."

"Thank you. Have you ever had porridge?"

"I don't have to eat. I thought I did, but I was wrong."

"Sometimes enjoying a new sensation is more important than nutrition. Let's go get breakfast."

"Feeding people is an expression of love?" He seemed puzzled.

"Caring. Same thing I guess." I hooked my arm in his, and started walking.

"Yes."

Cole disappeared while I started the fires going. I needed a good look at the actual kitchens. If we could get starters in the fireplace there, powered by magic, maybe. Fire runes, tied to a button or switch to turn on. It's possible it was already in place. And I wanted running water. Would Solas mind me installing plumbing in his fortress? I couldn't wait for Dagna to get here.

Cook was an early riser, too. She came up just as I got the fires roaring properly. She headed inside for the chopping, cutting, etc. The prep work. No, we didn't put a fire in a place with no window. That'd be stupid. I do wonder. How was this place heated? There were no fireplaces in the outbuildings we could get to.

After breakfast, which Cole sampled, we got started on picking things up. It was much worse than you see in the game. That's cleaned up some. We had to pull things off the stairs just to get to the dais. It took us most of the day to get the courtyard partially cleaned up, arguing with stupid humans who wanted to wait for some "authority" to say it was okay before touching anything. The Advisors were in conference. I wonder how long it will take to name him Inquisitor? I'm not sure, but we had to get it done soon. I'm betting less than a week, if not the day after tomorrow. Based primarily on the state of this place. I'm betting that Leliana's handling the redirection of any refugees or stragglers. Ravens have been flying.

By midafternoon, I had a few lists of things we needed to do first. One needs to plan, after all. Clearing space, emptying wagons, cataloguing supplies. Threnn's over there talking about requisitions and making sure the soldiers are supplied. She claimed that all the supplies went preferentially to the soldiers. How nice. Everyone else needs to eat, too.

I was working on my lists when Lady Cassandra walked up. "I suspected you would be making lists. May I see?"

"Of course." I handed her one of my finished pages.

"You are a detailed planner. You don't even have the limits of our supplies mapped out, and you are making purchasing suggestions?"

"I have an advantage, my lady. My people did a lot of the packing. We have a good idea of what we left Haven with. Within a few days' food supply, at least. These are just estimates, but if we're careful, we have a week before we have to get supplies in. Of course, the soldiers may have other needs, and we don't know what was packed in their gear. However, I can't make accurate predictions if they keep confiscating goods "for the good of the Inquisition". The Quartermaster has claimed most of the meat products, and a good portion of the fruits already. I'm no good with army requirements, but it seems that if we can keep our supplies centralized, we should be better off.

"The biggest purchasing need right now will be breeding animals. If we're to be self-sufficient here, which I would suggest, then we need to make sure we have enough animals to both eat and produce more. I've those estimates on the next page. Did you notice the fields around the back? If we can clear the mess down the stairs, we might find the access to them. There may be wild edibles there. I could also see if we can get there in a roundabout way. Along the walls maybe? Getting fresh water is also going to be critical. Does anyone know if this place has a well? Right now I have the idle messengers fetching snow in buckets and barrels. My kids are hunting mushrooms and other edibles around this main courtyard area. We've found a few interesting things."

Cassandra looked at me. "You are far more organized than I expected, Chrissy. Thank you for your time. May I take your lists to Ambassador Montilyet?" What?

I was startled at that idea. "I haven't made copies yet, Lady Cassandra. Do I have time to do that?"

"I will return them this evening. Tomorrow at the latest."

"Very well then. Have a good afternoon, my lady." I bobbled a curtsy. "Do not DO that. Please." I just smiled at her. Imagine my surprise when she backed up before turning about and marching off, my paperwork clutched in her fist. I was just collecting the information and noting it down. I'm going to have to find the Seeker and clarify that the amounts and estimates and so on weren't my work. I was collating from Cook and Dennet and several others. It didn't occur to me at the time.

We did dinner, skipped school, and had singalong time. I slipped a new one in. The Isle of Innisfree. It was a bad idea. It was too soon to sing about being an exile.

About singing time: Dorian, Sera, Varric, and Bull hung around the outskirts of our little area, just watching. They didn't come anywhere near the fire until I waved them in. Did you know that The Iron Bull is afraid of nine-year-old girls? She peppered him with questions until Varric rescued him. He had no idea what to do with a non-grown person. Maybe his upbringing in the Qun. They don't do families like most of the rest of us. Sera has the singing voice of a scalded cat. Don't ask her to sing. Tie her up and gag her if she tries.

I had passed the guitar to Cara, who could also play, after I botched the end of Isle of Innisfree with tears. Dorian plopped himself down and just said, "Nice little spot you have here. Better than mine. You have an awning. Mind if I camp out here with you?"

"Don't you have stone walls or at least a tent?"

"Yes, but I have to share my tent, and he snores. It's definitely not restful." He tossed his head, brushing his hair back.

"If you wish to join us here, I'm sure we can find you a non-snoring tentmate."

"You have a tentmate already?"

"I sleep on this cot we're sitting on. Under the awning you admire so much."

"Don't you get cold?"

"Nope. Weird, isn't it."

"Well, I suppose I'll have to suffer. Select me a tentmate, my lady, and I shall be grateful."

"Do you mind sharing with more than one person? That one there…" I pointed to one near me. "has only three people in it. It sleeps six. Honestly, you humans are so huge we could probably stuff eight or ten of us in there, but it's a six-man tent."

"I'd be delighted." I asked a few elves to get his gear with him, and he moved right in. Odd. You'd think he'd prefer a two-man tent rather than sharing with three others, but who am I to argue? I didn't see Sam or Solas all day. When I unveiled my journal at the end of the night, Dorian poked his head out of his tent. "What was that?"

"I was unveiling my journal."

He looked shocked. "I see. Continue, then. If you would like to show me this lovely idea of 'veiling' a journal, I would be pleased to learn."

I patted the cot next to me. He came out and sat down, wrapped in a blanket. "It's easy, really. You just sort of grab the glowy stuff that floats everywhere and blow it over the journal, and then you twist with the internal magic muscle, and want it to be unseen, and it goes invisible."

He stared at me in shock. "Glowy stuff? Magic muscle? Where, my dear, did you train?"

"Train? I didn't. I figured this out about a month ago."

"Oh dear Maker. You are serious, aren't you."

"Someone had to write the first magic book, Dorian. Shall I show you?"

"I wait with bated breath." So I veiled it again. One moment it was in my hand, and the next I was grasping a large handful of air. He looked shocked. He reached out and touched the pages.

"Of course, now that I've shown you, I'm going to have to find additional ways to hide it. One's diary must remain personal."

"I would never." I blew the dust off my journal, and it reappeared. "Chrissy, we really need to work on your technique."

"Technique?"

"You can't just blow on nothing and have things appear. You'll scare people. Altuses, for certain." He did look a little pale.

"I've done something wrong."

"No, no. I've just. When did you say you learned this? A month ago?" I nodded. "Tell no one. You should not have told me. We need. I need to…" He sighed. "Stay away from Tevinter, Chrissy. Promise me." I was confused, so I did so. "Please do your veiling away from mages. Away from Templars. We are going to have to have a talk, soon. In private, preferably." He seemed urgent about this.

"Dorian, you're gray again. Do you need help?"

"No. I am going to bed. To think. Sleep well. And be careful."

He's so confusing. I hope I didn't break him somehow. Skittish, that man.


	5. 6 Cloudreach, 9:41

**6 Cloudreach, 9:41**

I should have expected it, I suppose. It's so easy to blame the messenger. I awoke quite abruptly probably somewhere near midnight. It was incredibly buzzy/itchy. Looking back, it was a much smoother sensation than usual, but that's irrelevant at this point. I bolted upright in my cot, as a loud clatter of metal sounded. There was a scuffle, and I focused to discover a dressed Dorian, brilliantly lit staff in hand, glaring at a man in mercenary armor. The man was being held by Garalen on the ground. She had a knife to his throat. A sword was nearby. Garalen kicked it away from him.

A couple of people had apparently awoken because of the noise. It really hadn't been that loud. Heads peeked out and immediately ducked back in. Smart. Nobody wanted to deal with this, and it appeared under control. Garalen was apparently whispering something in the miscreant's ear, because he swallowed and nodded. She got up. He stayed down, hands out and visible.

"What's going on?"

"Nothing. You can go back to sleep." Garalen was rather gruff.

"I don't think so. Try again?"

"Just another idiot. This one got too close."

I looked at Dorian. "You knew about this? This is why you so desperately needed a non-snoring tentmate?"

"I'm a veritable font of knowledge. Are you speaking of something in particular? And he did snore. Worse than a bear growling, every few moments, all night."

"You're not funny, Altus."

"Odd. My other friends think I'm hilarious."

"How many, Garalen?"

"Three since Haven. It's not a problem, Chrissy. We have it handled."

"Why?"

She sighed, and turned sad eyes to me. "Because you knew, Chrissy. Someone didn't make it, and a survivor searches for a scapegoat. A target for their rage. Nothing you could have done would have changed the battle itself." She added that last sentence quickly. I must have had some expression she didn't like.

My heart hurt. "If I'd said something sooner, better, then more might have lived." How do you respond to that sort of accusation? When they're right? "I have to," I took a breath. "I need to walk. Please alert the guards to this." I was proud of how steady my voice was.

I didn't bother to dress. Bare feet and nightgown. I had to think. Maybe I was just brooding. I went out on the bridge, looking at the valley far below. In a few months, the ground near the lake would be lit with campfires and littered with tents. Right now it was dark and clean. Screwups. My time here was littered with them. I watched the water until the sky lightened.

We got to the business of living. I thanked Dorian for the protection. He graciously accepted those thanks and suggested I be moved into a tent. "We could do each other's hair, perhaps exchange fashion tips!" We made breakfast, did more clearing. It's slow going. This place hasn't been loved in a long time.

I got my notes back from Cassandra late in the morning. By messenger. A note was included on top, with one word, "Review". There were dots and checkmarks, numbers changed, mostly upward. They'd scribbled all over everything. I was surprised they had been interested at all. Still, they'd written all over my notes! Things had been added, too. Where the hell were we going to put cows? And I hadn't heard of some of the additions to the vegetable list. And what the hell am I supposed to review?

Well, I rewrote everything out neatly, and then asked Cook and Dennet to take a look. On a hunch, I walked over to where the Chargers were hanging out. Krem noticed me first. Not surprising since he's the Lieutenant. "Lady Chrysopal. To what do we owe the pleasure?"

"Lieutenant Aclassi, I was wondering if I could consult with whomever handles your supply management." The Chargers around apparently found my formality amusing. I had not had a good day, I was exhausted, someone had tried to kill me, and we were out of coffee. I did not need yet MORE people LAUGHING at me. I turned to look at them. "If he," pointing at Krem with my rolled up list, "is going to browbeat me with a title that's not even mine, then I'm going to smack him upside the head with the one that is rightfully his. TWICE, if necessary. Issues?" I glared at Krem and the rest. I may also have been swinging about said lists as I spoke. I was probably a frightful sight. The chortling slowed, surprise in several gazes. "I didn't think so. I'm not in the mood, ladies and gentlemen. Now, Krem, if I may call you that, can I possibly get together with your supplies person to discuss the outfitting of this groaning heap?"

I think he was laughing at me, too, but he wiped his face with his hand, and led me over to Stitches. Krem introduced me to a lady sitting NEXT to Stitches. Shows what I know. "This is Lisa, Support One." She'd obviously pissed someone off at some point, because there was a large scar running from forehead to chin. No, I didn't mention it. I'm not RUDE. We moved away from the others.

Lisa was very professional. We got our consultation done, and I thanked her for her time. She then told me that if I needed coffee that bad, then I could always come over to their fire in the morning. Bitch was smirking at me, but I liked her, so I just smiled and said thanks. With my reviewed lists, sans Threnn input, plus Charger input, I headed to Josie's tent. AAAAND turned right back around, because the Advisors and Cassandra were all shouting at each other. I'd get it to them another time.

While I'd been away, the dried meats and fruits reappeared in general stores. Interesting. Certainly not complaining at that. And Cullen had been by. Left a message. "It won't happen again." What won't? The attempt on my life? The rescue? The stores being allocated to the soldiers? Probably thought he was clear, too. Anyway.

Normal evening. Food, songtime. Some of the humans are chiming in to We Shall Overcome. The upper crusties may sneer at us, but the people cleaning the shit off boots are coming to us. I found I was moved into a tent. I had some roommates. Dorian, Garalen, Andrew, Elias, and a human I didn't know, who was armed. A lot. Not dressed in soldier's uniform. I took my bag with my journal up to the ramparts we aren't supposed to climb, because I know they're perfectly fine. And I'm writing away from the mages and Templars. I'm going to bed soon.


	6. Day 3, 7 Cloudreach, 9:41

Skyhold, Day 3, 7 Cloudreach, 9:41

My dreams are still quiet. Is it this place? With the way I've been feeling, I've been expecting demons. Nary a one has come. Two kinds of dreams, like back in Haven. One like home, one possibly a memory of history. There has been activity so often here, those dreams are confusing, bleeding into each other. Barbarians in skins morph to men in silver. Men, elves, dwarves. I halfway expect to see fairies and trolls, and a march of the Ents. It makes no sense. And no visitors of which I am aware.

I decided that keeping track of days related to milestones could be important. This is our third day in Skyhold. The first visitor(s) arrived today. Fourteen scraggly humans with a poor donkey and a wagon, coming up the "elevator" in the Barbican (at the end of the bridge). Takes six soldiers to man that pulley system, and almost half an hour to come all the way up. This place truly is a fortress. There are stairs around the elevator, but it's a long way down to the valley floor. This fat girl is NOT making that trip. I'll stay right here behind the walls. Battlegrounds are bad. Stink, smell, mess, pain. NO.

Anyway, first thing in the morning I took Lisa at her word and showed up at the Chargers' fire, mug in tow. I also brought a half cup of sugar, in case trade was required. She seemed surprised to see me until I waved my mug at her. She hadn't actually expected me to take her up on it, but seriously? I'd walk the Lego Firewalk for coffee. I was up insanely early again. You know, I used to be a night owl. This morning stuff? Sucks.

So that means I was at their fire before they were all up. Lisa and a few others, all "Support" with numbers, and no I don't remember their names, were doing the breakfast thing. I'll tell you, Chargers eat good. Bull treats his people well. "You join up when I wasn't looking?" Speaking of Bull.

"Nope. I was jokingly offered coffee and decided that I'd take it seriously. I brought my mug over first thing."

"You really have a thing for coffee."

"I'd brave lego wonderland barefoot."

"Not sure what that means, but alright."

"Don't mind me. I've not completely caffeinated yet."

"Feel free to share the coffee. Heard you took our needs into account for your requisition lists."

"I don't know if they'll charge you for supplies, since you're mercenaries, but at least they'll be available if the lists are approved. May run a tally against your per diem, if you get it. Make sure you keep any purchase orders or req forms, just in case. Those kinds of decisions aren't mine, but I don't want mistakes in my inventory."

"You're kind of young to talk like that."

"I'm older than I look."

"How much older?"

"I don't know. How old do I look?"

He took my question seriously. I didn't expect that. "Twenty, maybe nineteen summers."

"Much older than that. At least half again. Maybe more than that. Don't you know it's rude to ask a woman her age? If you had to guess based on my manner of speech and voice, what would you guess?"

"Older. I'm not answering that. Not in the mood to get hit. Where'd you serve?"

"Not here. Nowhere you'd know. And I never saw battle."

"Logistics?"

"It was a long time ago. I'm not discussing it." He nodded, and the lot of us conversed on more neutral topics until my mug was empty. I thanked them, and left, taking my unnecessary sugar with me.

Well, back to the scruffy people. Some smart person (or dumb person) had put a bell in or on the barbican, with a rope that goes all the way down to the front valley. Midmorning, someone rang it. Panic in the streets! People running willy nilly because apparently no one had bothered to let anyone know such a thing was in place. Time passed, investigations happened, and we have the first visitors. This place is a wreck, and we had to have guests. Can't they let us clean up a bit first?

It took a long time for them to be approved entry. But, they brought some needed supplies or documents or something that were whisked into the other guardhouse tower, as well as some basic supplies. The people themselves were left to sit there, no direction, no information. So, I got them fed, set up with a small separate-ish space on the ground, and some bedrolls. All the tents were in use, or I'd have arranged for one, at least temporarily.

About the time I finished up, Seeker Cassandra came out, looking for them. I pointed her in the right direction. She asked if they'd been fed or tended. I answered in the affirmative and she nodded. She'd expected that I'd handle it. Well, glad to be of use, I suppose. Turns out they were some craftsmen from the Hinterlands, who had come to check things out and fix things up for us. They'd had a long journey, led by crows. I handed her the reviewed and revised lists, telling her that Cook, Dennet, and the Chargers' Supply Manager had also taken a look and had nothing to add, as well. She actually smiled at me when she said thank you. She hadn't expected it done so quickly.

I told cook there were more for dinner, and decided to do the rounds. I'd not been meeting up with everyone like I used to. I stopped in to see Varric. He was leaning near the gates, smacking his head against the wall. "That doesn't help," I said.

"I'm thinking."

"It's time. You know that."

"How do you do that?"

"Do what?"

"That is so incredibly vague, but completely appropriate to my dilemma."

"Maybe I'm talking about bashing your head in."

"That doesn't explain your timing, and you're not like that."

"Is your head okay? I could take a look at it."

"My head is fine, Cuddles. Thought you'd forgotten me, though." I leaned up against the wall next to him and bumped him with my hip.

"Who could forget such a dashing dwarf. Or the chest hair? I've just been busy. Wallowing and planning. This place is a mess. We should be able to get the main buildings cleared enough to evaluate for soundness within a week or two. Maybe we'll be able to get under roofs then."

"That'd be nice. This outdoor stuff is not my thing. I want walls and people and streets."

"Missing home?"

"That shithole? Never. Well, maybe. But this is fine."

"I better keep going. You're probably not the only friend feeling neglected."

"But I'm the cute one."

"That's why you were first, Storyteller." He laughed.

I stopped off to Sera, and chatted a bit. She hangs out near the food. Smart girl. Vivienne has a chair, with a pillow, and an awning, set up in the courtyard. She spends her day there. I'm not sure what she does, but it doesn't look like work. Blackwall I've not met, officially, so I didn't approach him. Sam and Solas were nowhere to be found. The advisors and Cassandra are in the guardhouse. They're still "discussing" whatever they're discussing. Sometimes at volume, but the stone muffles the words. Sam's probably in there, and Solas is probably checking on whatever he needs to check on for the keep. It is his, after all. Cole's around. Somewhere. He'll turn up.

Can't get a whole lot done in the dark, so everything stops at dusk. Tonight turned into a singalong for everyone. Different fires took turns with songs. Sometimes even the wind in this place seems to sing. When I slipped away to write, the sounds filled the air. One thing I will say, this place is amazing.

I was still looking out from the battlements I wasn't supposed to be on when I felt someone behind me. The previous attempt on my life was rather fresh in my mind, so I whirled around. I don't know what I would have done, but it's instinctive, you know? Solas stood there. I relaxed, marginally.

"I thought no one was supposed to be up here."

"Worst case scenario? I fall off. One less annoying woman. Many people would be happier."

"But not all. Your people would miss you."

"I know."

"Why are you up here?"

"Because the world is hollow and I have touched the sky." I looked at him. "I'm not intending to be cryptic. It's the title of a play. Story. Something similar. Have you ever heard of Television?"

"No. Do you mean clairvoyance?"

"No. Anyway, that's the name of the story episode, but I always found it extremely poetic. It seems fitting, here."

"The walls may not be safe."

"They are."

"You know this?"

"You wouldn't have brought us here if they weren't. The advisors are overcautious sometimes."

"You assume I knew the state of this place."

"Why would I not? It's the kind of place a dreamer would explore."

"That sounds suspiciously like an evasion, but I can detect no lie."

"Isn't that interesting. Sounds like most of our conversations, then. Why are you up here, Solas? Turnabout is fair play."

"Identifying the person on the walls."

"Should I leave?"

"No. You should be safe enough now."

"Two statements that don't necessarily have anything to do with each other." He smiled at me. "Have you ever heard of svartálfar?"

"No."

"Your answers are short this evening. You're far more talkative in the fade." He didn't say anything. I sighed. "I'll head back down. I apologize for interrupting you."

"People silhouetted against the night invite arrows."

That stopped me. "I hadn't thought of that."

"I thought perhaps you were deliberately doing so."

"No."

"Find a safer place to think, Da'asha. There is plenty of stone here."

We walked down the stairs, and he left me near the gates.

I won't veil my journal near him, so I got to startle Dorian again.


	7. Day 4, 8 Cloudreach, 9:41

Skyhold, Day 4, 8 Cloudreach, 9:41

My dreams are still soft. Maybe it really is this place.

I showed up first thing to Bull's fire again. I got coffee, and laughed at. Apparently my fixation with coffee is funny. But I got coffee, so I'm not saying a damn thing. They're not being malicious.

Figured out why I'm not being constantly tailed by Garalen and Elias. The courtyard is just not that big. Elias has been hanging out in the lower courtyard, keeping eyes on. Garalen is hanging out in the upper courtyard, since we've cleared the stairs. They don't need to tail me; they can see me. And I had thought they'd finally just stopped. Guess not. And that human who's overarmed seems to be against the wall near wherever I am. He won't talk to me, even though he shares our tent.

I saw Sam for the first time since we got to Tarasyl'an Te'las. He said hello, and recommended I "fix" my hair. He was nice about it, but I refused. It will grow as it wills. We chatted for a while about reaching Skyhold and how huge it was and how surprising it was that this was here. I just kind of nodded along. He's a sweet guy, but sometimes he's really clueless. Found out he allied the mages, not conscripted them. I hadn't known that before. I'm glad, though.

I showed him all the progress we've made with making this place habitable. We've nearly got the armory area, with its mini forge for the soldiers, cleared out and ready. Both courtyards are cleared, though we're waiting on some machinery to get the rubble blocking the way to the kitchens and the stables. And the well, which will make life astronomically easier. The tavern is in surprisingly good shape, but the master carpenter is still busy on the armory. They're not letting us in until he has a look. We'll get new roofs on, and get some more boards up to cover the empty spaces as soon as he rubber stamps it. I'm hoping to plaster the inside, even though that's not canon.

Harritt and the Uncles are helping us. They want to get back to work. These men are the only ones who aren't treating me as something breakable. Nobody touches me anymore, except them. At least I can go to them for my hug fixes. Do I look that delicate? And honestly, I need cuddles more now than before. Enborr especially is an expert cuddler, and he'll hug for five minutes if I let him. He's been eyeing Lace, so I may have to arrange some sort of introduction.

We had some recruits arrive today. What is it about young men that makes them want to fight? They've seen so much fighting in the Hinterlands. Why would they want more? Three other groups of people, humans, came in today to "visit the Inquisition." Yeah. If they want to stay, they'll work. I set them to helping with the cleanup. Thankfully they didn't object, though there was some grumbling about listening to me until Cook and Joan stepped in.

This would be easier if the Advisors would get their butts in gear. We've gotten the pertinent areas basically done. We'll get the buildings handled as soon as the craftspeople let us. With the advisors closeted, nobody official is here to greet these arrivals. I'm having to direct them to where they need to go and assign them places, and I have a distinct disadvantage to being taken seriously. I have pointy ears. Maybe I'd get better results if I was dressed in a dress instead of work clothes. That'd make Leorah happy.

It was a normal day. A normal evening. Dorian keeps acting like he wants to talk to me, but also keeps saying there are way too many people around. He also keeps admonishing me to be careful. The kids are irritated at me. I told them that they were going back to school. I talked to Fiona, and they're going to attend lessons with the mage kids for now. Reading, writing, arithmetic, geography. No magical theory or the like, please. She agreed to that, because we're "too busy to test for new mages. However, if they start setting things on fire, I will have to teach them." She means take them. Not happening. I'll ask Solas before I'd trust them to her.

I specifically warned Daniel not to try the mage stuff. I pulled him aside and told him that he needed to learn from Andrew or myself. He could watch, or even study, but not try it. Smart boy said that it was because the mages didn't understand the glowy stuff. YES. Exactly. And Fiona would try to take him from me if he showed that he could do things. If he could do things. He said he had tried to move the stuff around, but he couldn't do much. Maybe it's a puberty thing. That's when we on Earth typically attribute the onset of magical ability.

Instead of going up on the wall near the gate this evening, I went up to the upper courtyard, and tucked into the tower that will eventually be the quartermaster's. The stairs are rickety, but serviceable. We'll have the craftspeople fix that. They're expecting more arrivals, soon. Apprentices and such, with more specific tools.

I've noticed that while it's cold here, the courtyards and such are green, like in the game. Also, considering the elevation and the fact that it's early april-ish equivalent, the humans are able to get by with a blanket or two. That's weird. Also, the valley behind Tarasyl'an Te'las, the one that's green? There's no way down there I've found so far. I'll have to ask Solas.

No real interesting conversations today. Nothing notable happened, really. I'm missing what used to be home. I'll get over it. Eventually. I hope. I'll head back to our area after I finish this.


	8. Day 5, 9 Cloudreach, 9:41

**Skyhold, Day 5, 9 Cloudreach, 9:41**

I may have gotten a hair ticked off today. Just a bit. I'll start at the beginning.

I remember no dreams. That's actually getting annoying. I worry someone is taking the memory from me, because I usually remember any "normal" dreams.

Bugged the Chargers. Coffee. Nectar of the Gods, it is. Some of them are getting up earlier to chat a bit. Dalish is hilarious. I complimented her on her bow, and she turned to the others and said, "See?" And then I ruined it by saying the wood must be very good at focusing her will. I grinned, and she play-glared at me.

"Hey, that's got to be very useful," I said. "Multipurpose objects cut down on carry weight. And it must take a lot of will to keep a steady bow-arm." That made the awake ones laugh, waking up more of them. There's probably twenty-five people in the Chargers, and another ten just support. They had a home base out toward Orlais, where more of their support people lived. And some families. Turns out Stitches is married, and has two kids. Well, "sort of" married. They may bring everyone up here later, after we're settled.

On to the pissed off part. I was consulting with one of the craftsmen, who's posing as a structural engineer. He said, "I don't want to let anybody in here until your elves can clear this out and I get a good look. We'll put boxes in front of the door so that people can't come in." People. Can't come in. But elves, they're fine. So I'm a nice person, sometimes. I asked for clarification. "We can't risk anybody coming in until you've cleaned it."

I double checked. "So you're saying it's okay for elves to be in here, with the structure potentially unstable, but it's too dangerous for people to come in here?"

He enthusiastically agreed, glad that I "Finally got it through your pretty head, sweetheart." And then he added, "I've been told I can speak for the Inquisition in this matter. I'm sure we'll get along fine. We're going to be GREAT friends, dearie. Just remember I'm in charge." He said that last part with a leer. That is not the way to make me happy. And I do not get PATTED or PINCHED on the REAR. It didn't matter that I knew the buildings were basically sound. This "Representative of the Inquisition" thought it was perfectly acceptable to risk my people. Because to him, we weren't people.

I stepped outside the door and let out a whistle. People stopped and looked. "Ethelathe! I'm taking a break. Work's done until further notice!" Considering this was about ten in the morning, and that I used my outdoor voice, everyone turned. I moved among my surprised people, telling to just drop the stuff were they were standing. We were finished.

I moved back to our tent section, with a bunch of confused people coming with me. I told Andrew what happened, quickly, as an aside. He looked grim, and gathered Gunther. They stood sentinel on either side of the "street" into our little tent section. The rest, I told them that we had an issue. I would not prevent them from working, if they so desired. I wouldn't get upset or anything. However, we'd hit a snag in our treatment by the Inquisition, and until it was resolved, I wasn't helping with anything other than basic food and care of the most seriously injured. At my suggestion, they retreated out of sight of the humans.

It actually got some attention rather quickly. As the shock wore off, people started saying things like "You can't just leave that here!" I moved to the entrance of "our" area, flanked by Elias and Garalen. Our two Templar members stood outside them. One single human got up the nerve to say "You can't just quit, you stupid knife-ear."

I simply replied, "Why not?" He raised his hand back and Garalen grabbed him, forcing him to the ground. She put a dagger through his tunic next to his ribs. She hissed something in his ear, grabbed the knife and stood up again, resuming her place. Lots of yelling, lots of incredulity.

I'd not done anything with my SELF since we got here, not even checking on my people. (They were all right there, and we were in the same general space.) However, needed to do something, preferably without upsetting every mage around. "Andrew, swap places with Elias, please?" He did. I drew a line in the dirt with a toe. In his ear, I asked, "Can you put up one of your walls? There, and curved around to the back wall, covering our area?" I FELT it shimmer into place. I opened my SELF, and a hair's breadth behind it I smoothed the glowy bits into a dome of sparkly glass-like stuff. He put his arm around me, and me mine around him, because it was easier that way to sort of blend what we'd done into a single piece.

When the first clod of dirt came our way, I just smiled as it hit the air in front of us and slid down nothing to the ground. It wouldn't stop everything, but it made a statement. The magic shimmered just a moment when the dirt hit it, and everyone backed up. Gunther, beside Garalen, was a touch pale. I don't think he'd felt anything like this before.

Dorian, regrettably in some ways, was still in MY camp, so when he came up behind me I knew where he was. Studying what we'd done, he went to open his mouth. I interrupted him. "Am I a person, Dorian?"

"Of course you are."

"Not everyone agrees with you."

"I see. That's what this is about?"

"Until I get assurance that the Inquisition says we're people, we're not doing anything more."

"Something happened."

"Yes."

"Can I get out, or would that disrupt… this?"

"That's a one-way trip, Dorian."

"I'll be back with someone important." And he passed through, shuddering as the glowy dust and then the millimeter of absolutely no dust passed over him and clung slightly. I meant it. He wasn't getting back in. No one was.

A few minutes later, the Advisors, Cassandra, and Sam all came running up. "What's going on?" asked Leliana. Sam tried to walk up to us, but hit the barrier. It stopped him.

People started all talking at once, with us being the bad guys in every story. "They just dropped everything and went into their tents!" When I heard the voice of the craftsman chiming in that I'd walked out on a discussion, I looked at Leliana and said "Ask him. Ask him whether PEOPLE should be kept out of a place until MY ELVES have cleaned it, and fixed it, and made it safe for PEOPLE to be there. And then tell me if he's right, if I'm not people, because I'm supposed to be there, but people aren't. Is that the way the Inquisition thinks of us? He told me he speaks for you. Is that true? Let me know when you decide." There was a lot of murmuring about that.

Cullen grabbed the man by the arm, and they all went off. Except for Josie. She was trying to say we'd work it out, attempting to soothe my anger. I was having none of it. Maybe I overreacted, but I wasn't having it. We were people, and if they didn't see that, we'd leave. The spice must flow, but it didn't need us, here, to do that. That they didn't immediately reassure us was a mark against them. Not even Josie said, "Of course you're people."

Someone brought up a chair for me to sit in. Isa asked me to sit. Calling me "my lady." Andrew remained standing. "It's not hard," he said. "I do this every day to be around mages. I just made it bigger. I'm not going to get tired. Well, maybe after a day or two, if we don't sleep." I nodded. I was tired, but not as bad as I thought I should be. There was just SO MUCH glowy stuff here.

It took several hours, and it was kind of funny that the cooking supplies were mostly on my side of the "wall" Andrew and I'd put up. Lunchtime passed and Cook asked me if she should fire up lunch. "They have enough food out there for at least a week, and they can get more." I looked her in the eye. "Am I a person, Ethel Cook?"

"Yes, my lady." I nodded. Now was not the time to argue about titles. She continued, though. "You're the only one who treats us servants like we're people, too. We talked, and we're all of us with you. Have been for weeks now. If'n you didn't notice. He'll get the bad guys. You'll handle us." I gave her a hug, and sat back down. They were less tense when I appeared relaxed.

Interestingly, everyone came back about mid-afternoon. Messengers started nailing paper into the walls at regular intervals. Josephine came up in front of us. I stood. "Lady Chrysopal, the Inquisition welcomes all people, whether they be elven, dwarven, vashoth, or human. If we meet additional people of a new race, they will also be welcome, should their priorities align with ours. Every job is important, and just because someone performs an unpleasant or less visible function does not mean they are expendable, less worthy, or easily replaceable. We're putting up proclamations to that effect. I'm sorry. We're sorry, that you were treated that way. That you were all treated that way. Your personhood has never been in doubt. Not by the Inquisition. And now, no one who works with the Inquisition will be able to claim you are less than another." She said that loud enough for the courtyard to hear.

She moved closer, so that she was almost touching the barrier. "I'm sorry, Chrissy. I didn't realize what was going on. That we were letting you do all the dangerous work while we waited for you to finish. That's over. As Commander Rutherford pointed out, you had seventy-five people doing three quarters of the work, and we had three hundred doing a third of that. It won't happen again. Tomorrow, the soldiers will be at your disposal, as will some of the agents and the messengers. We've been too busy arguing to pay attention. We're going to help."

I looked at Andrew. I'd not seen a waver in her. She was being honest. He nodded. So did Garalen. We dropped the shield. "We'll hold you to that, Lady Montilyet." I held out a hand, and she took it.

"So," she said. "Is this how you're going to handle things? No one was hurt. Nothing was damaged." She seemed surprised.

"It's called a work stoppage. It gets the attention of the people in charge without doing damage to anything or anyone. Sometimes called a strike, but I didn't want to use that term because it sounds too close to hitting someone. And no, I'm not going to encourage something like this unless someone else tries to put an entire race of people in danger because they have pointy ears. Or similar.

"It only worked because I know you, and the other people in charge. None of you, I believed, would condone placing all my people in danger while you waited, watching. It wouldn't have worked in Denerim or Val Royeaux. There, we'd have been cut down.

"However, the craftsman said he was hired by the Inquisition, and could speak for you. He fondled my rear, hinting that it was the way to keep my job. And then one of yours pulled back his hand to hit an elf. Garalen intervened, but I didn't want to take any more chances. I put your people and my people on opposite sides of a wall. For everyone's sake. Until you all could stop screaming at each other. It's affecting morale, Lady Montilyet. People are scared. Their leaders are in hiding, and the only thing we hear is shouting."

She looked troubled. "We're going to be out here tomorrow, Chrissy. We'll fix this." I nodded.

We got dinner up. Something simple. Bread and soup. Dorian came back. He grasped my hand and pulled me off in private. "There was NOTHING on the other side of that impressive barrier you created. I felt nothing. How did you do that?"

"With the help of a trained Templar. Magic and antimagic, layered. Have you never befriended a Templar?"

"There is something wrong with that entire concept. Don't your southern Templars hate mages?"

"Maybe that's why no one knows what we did. Andrew. We have a special relationship. He's a brother to me, and I will protect him. I look forward to holding his children. I can't explain his and my connection without talking about things I'm not ready to talk about. I was trying to do what you told me."

"What I told you?"

"Don't show anyone my magic. I did not. There was nothing there for any mage not in my camp."

"That's… somehow worse."

"Should I be concerned about you now, Dorian? Have I revealed too much to you?"

"My dear, you are the most surprising thing I've found. I'm going to stop Corypheus with the Herald, but it's going to be more fun with you around."

The only real good thing is that only Dorian, Gunther, Andrew, and I know what that barrier looked like. I think. No one knows how big it was, or how effective it might have been. Not even us, really. I talked to Gunther later, and he said that I was weird. I had no magic like he knew, and he wasn't telling anyone. Mainly because no one would believe him.

We'll get this placed cleaned up the rest of the way, probably tomorrow. And then the People in Charge can get their butts in gear. We really do need an Inquisitor, if only because they can't stop arguing about what to do next.


	9. Day 6, 10 Cloudreach, 9:41

Skyhold, Day 6, 10 Cloudreach, 9:41

Looks like my spate of not remembering dreams is over. I kind of wish it wasn't. I'd barely closed my eyes when Asshole was back. "What did you think you were doing?" He sounded angry.

"Would you have preferred that I whore myself for some human craftsman and put my people in a danger so that "real" people didn't have to go into potentially unstable buildings?"

"Explain."

So I told him about the situation. Then I looked at him. "I'm not sure you think we're people either, so I don't know why you're so upset. It's not like it affects you. You can slip away to wherever you go and play in the fade until it's all over, if you like. Or you can just cleave to the Herald, as his personal advisor. You're not a nobody. We are. Invisible, interchangeable."

"You have made yourself quite visible, Chrysopal."

"The better for them. Nobody else was doing it."

"You offered me your life, and I gave it back. I expect you to take better care of it." He was still steamed. He could stuff it.

And I awoke in the morning. NOT refreshed. Asshole.

* * *

I went to visit the Chargers' fire. This time Garalen followed me. I stopped a bit away, looking at Lisa and the others. "Am I welcome this morning?"

They looked at each other. "We haven't heard that you weren't."

I got my coffee, but there wasn't much talk. They kept STARING. I said goodbye and left after half a mug, finishing it while walking. Apparently I broke something yesterday. I missed it already.

The interesting thing was Sera. She sought me out at breakfast. Porridge. Leave me alone. "So, how'd you do that?"

"How'd I do what?" I asked.

"Get everybody to stop being stupid like that."

"When the work stops, everyone pays attention. But if they'd had permission to kill us, it wouldn't have worked. Too many of them, not enough of us, and nothing gets accomplished. If the Inquisition had been bigger, if I'd had fewer people stopping, if the people up top weren't decent, it could have been very different."

"Well, it's a good idea, yeah?"

"Yeah. Sometimes sitting down and waiting really does make a difference. Especially if it's a lot of people sitting and waiting. But sometimes a lot of people get killed while they sit there. And that's sometimes just as important. Remind me to tell you about a man named Ghandi some time." Lots of sometimes in that, but that's really how I said it.

"Why do you do it?"

"Somebody has to. If we can change the way the Inquisition treats people, then as the Inquisition spreads across Thedas, it will change everything. Maybe not forever, and maybe not a lot, but a little is better than none."

"They call you my lady, like you're a fancy britches."

"Never asked them to. Asked them to stop. They don't seem to want to. Should I force them? Or let them do what they want?"

"You're weird. You look weird, you smell weird, and you act REALLY weird. I think I might like you." Smell weird?

I couldn't help but laugh. For the first time since Haven. "I might just like you back. Sera, have you ever heard of the Tuatha de Danann?"

"Noooo… What's that?"

"Other than a great band name?" She looked confused. "Never mind. Just thought I'd ask."

"See? Weird. But you're okay. So far. And I stuffed Lady Viv's pillow with maple seed powder. In the padding. That's why she's walking funny. And scratching her ladybits when she thinks nobody's looking." She giggle-snorted. It was far cuter in real life than it ever was in game. "She hasn't put on her hat yet today, so keep looking for that."

I smiled at that. "Thank you, Sera. That's supremely satisfying."

"Exactly."

After breakfast I got my kids organized. Guys. Not the kids. The kids are staying right here. I was handing out assignments, none of which were in buildings, I might add, when a hundred armed men showed up. Shit. I honestly though my ass was grass, but then one stepped forward and asked which building they were supposed to start with. They'd been given instructions to do the internal cleanup. They were "the best of Thedas, and if anyone was going to survive a building collapsing, it'd be them." Alrighty then. I sent half of them into the armory, half of them into the tavern. We put the boxes across so kids and people who weren't supposed to be there stayed away.

Cullen set up a table at the bottom of the stairs. Finally. Josie's still hanging out in the guardhouse, but it looks like Cassandra's hanging out next to the armory, shouting instructions to the soldiers clearing out. Things were flying out windows and being tossed out doors all morning. By midday, the healing tents had been moved to where I'd expected them to be put the first time. A large tent had been put up in the upper courtyard, and Sera was hanging out there. In general, things were being moved to where I'd seen them in game. Damn. When three hundred people start cleaning shit, shit gets clean.

I had my guys and the messengers gather up all the wood into piles, for further use or firewood or whatever. We'll figure that out later. One of the messengers was chatting with a buddy about woodworking. I asked him about it, describing what an abacus was like, inquiring about getting one made. He took me up to Blackwall and introduced us. He seems nice. If I didn't know he has been lying the whole time, I might have believed the Warden thing. He's convincing.

Anyway, I politely asked if he knew someone who could make what I described, and he offered. I drew out the basic design, two sections, twelve posts, two beads above and five below. The beads needed to move smoothly, but maintain their positions. To my surprise, by the midafternoon I had a functional abacus! "It's not pretty, but it should work. I'll see about a better one." I thanked him. And then started doing my tallies the easy way. He watched me adding for a while, and nodded. "That's an interesting tool. Where's it from?"

I was distracted. "China," I said.

"Where's that?"

I looked up. "Huh?"

"You said China. Where's that?"

"A long way away. Thank you for the Abacus, Warden Blackwall. It will make things so much easier." We exchanged pleasantries for a while, and then he took his leave.

We also had about fifty random people show up, several groups. Cullen had them camp below, after finding out we had basically no place to put them. He asked me about it. I wasn't expecting that. Sam worked alongside the rest of us. Shirtless. Pretty, pretty man. Makes Josie look, that's for sure. She keeps peeking out of the guardhouse to watch him. Cullen went shirtless, too. And a bunch of others. The man-candy was breathtaking. I only found out I was staring open-mouthed when Dorian, doll that he is, pushed my chin up and said, "Drooling is so undignified."

I looked at him sideways. "You could always claim you're just looking because I need a mate of some kind. If you need an excuse." He looked startled. "Where I come from, there is a legend. A Sacred Band of Thebes. The finest warriors in all the world. It consisted of 150 fighting pairs." I stressed pairs. "Each pair was devoted to each other, in all ways. They were revered as the epitome of men, what one should strive to be. They loved and fought with equal zeal. The Sacred 300 was the first and the finest for more than half an age. They were well respected. And I still respect them, even though the last time they existed was over two thousand years ago. Do you understand?"

"You are constantly surprising me."

"I live to serve, my Lord Pavus."

"Then please do something about this terrible cold. It sinks into my bones. How do you stand it?"

"Dorian, sweetheart, are you SURE you want me to play with trying to make you warmer?" I looked around, but we were essentially alone. "I have been a mage for less than three months, after all."

He sucked in a breath. "Perhaps a slightly larger fire?"

"I'll see what I can do."

We got more done today than in the other four days since we arrived. (The first day was really just planning and temporary housing, after all.) I guess it worked. Crows are flying everywhere. I'm hearing rumors about larger groups showing up. At least one noble is on his way. Not sure where we'll put him or her. Or what we'll feed him or her. Leliana said she sent for more supplies, and Josie's arranging it. Blankets, food, candles. Candles are at a premium. And we got the doors to the main hall open today. There was already a throne, in surprisingly clean condition, despite the detritus ornamentally draped about it. Solas, Solas, Solas.

I went out on the bridge after dinner and singalong. I taught them another song tonight. "Blowing in the wind". How many roads must a man walk down, indeed. It seems appropriate. I looked down at the shoreline. The first few of the fires have appeared. They look lonely from the bridge, but I'm sure they'll be followed by more.


	10. Day 7, 11 Cloudreach, 9:41

Skyhold, Day 7, 11 Cloudreach, 9:41

There is too much history here, and none of it makes sense. Too many conflicting stories. How does he keep it all straight?

* * *

I awoke with someone wiggling my foot. "I need a letter. Can you write another letter?"

I blinked sleep out of my eyes. "Of course, Cole. As many as you need."

The human man asked, "Who are you talking to?" while he looked around. Cole was sitting right on my cot!

"You always see me. How do you do that?"

I looked at the man who had never before spoken to me. "I'm getting up."

Walking outside, I asked who needed a letter. Cole pointed toward the new healer's area. Still in my nightgown, we walked that way. I snagged some paper and my pen as we went. He was a young man. It looked like he would live, but he'd lost his hand and an eye. I asked, as if to the young man, but expecting Cole to answer, "You can't write?"

The young man looked at his hand and shook his head, "Not anymore."

Cole said, "The words aren't right after the ink dries. I can read, but the writing comes out wrong."

"Then let me write the letters. You tell me what to say." Cole and the young man both looked grateful. I took down the soldier's words, and then I asked him what he was going to do when he was healed. He said he was useless now, so he didn't know. Useless?

"Who told you that?"

"Everyone knows a one-handed soldier is worthless."

"You've never met any pirates, have you." I launched into a heavily edited story of Captain Hook, where he ended up being a man deserving of the loyalty of his men, tormented by an evil fairy. I then moved on to explain that you don't need two hands to do most things in life. I left him feeling a bit better, with a letter to send.

"You heal hurts, too."

"I hate to see someone give up, that's all. I don't have your insight, Cole."

"It worked. Only a little, but he's better."

"Maybe helping a little bit a lot of times is a good thing."

"You still hurt."

"I always will. But you can't let that stop you from continuing."

"You wanted to die."

"But I didn't."

"He thinks you still do."

"Sometimes he's right."

"They're afraid to break you. They say my lady and build a wall. Nobody wants to be the one. You can't tell them what you are because you don't know."

"Do you know, Cole?"

"I don't know. Maybe? Tuatha de Danann. Dragon Lords of Anu. Daughter of Aine?"

"What?"

"It means you're more. And less, too, but mostly more. Also the ears. But it's a part. The rest is you."

"Darling, you're not making much sense to me, but I'm listening."

"I'm saying it wrong."

"Maybe I'm not ready to understand. Aine is a long-ago grandmother. Tuatha de Danann, Dragons Lords of Anu. These terms I understand. How you've made them fit is a mystery. Perhaps it's not time."

"There's a time to help?"

"To everything there is a season, Cole."

"Yes. I sometimes get it wrong."

"Not wrong, Cole. Just not yet. Let me think on it."

"Thank you for the letter." I just smiled at him.

I didn't invade the Chargers' privacy this morning. I was sitting at my own fire after breakfast when Krem showed up, Elias near him. "You didn't come by."

"I didn't want to intrude."

He looked uncomfortable at that. He rubbed his head. "Dalish said there was nothing there. Nothing there, and the dirt fell from the air. And you smiled, and it was eerie, pleased. She said, 'that one's dangerous. We need to be careful with her. I don't know what she's capable of.' Then you didn't show up this morning. Boss asked why we'd tried to piss you off, then."

"I see. I'm not pissed off." Hurt is different than pissed off. "I promise I won't disturb you, then. And I'll still make sure that requisitions are available in stores if I can. Just have your supply people send them by messenger. Don't worry about it."

"No, that's not what I mean." He sighed. "I brought you coffee." He held out a mug. I'd assumed it was his. I looked at it a moment, before he waved it under my nose. Meanie. I took it. Coffee smell is heaven.

"Are you sure? I swear it won't…"

"Yes. See you in the morning." He walked away. Now I have to go back to return his mug, if nothing else. Yep. He's a lieutenant. Bossy.

The soldiers and the free agents and messengers reported for work again today. I set them to start cleaning out some of the towers as well as finishing the outbuildings we could get to. They're looking at the pile of rubble below the ruined walkway, and figure most of it belongs up there. Should be reasonably doable, but take a while. Guy named Ansel says it looks like the causeway was collapsed on purpose. Expected soot, found none.

A lot of the leftover stairways and so on in the towers are not salvageable. Had the soldiers pull them down. It's interesting to watch the soldiers moaning and groaning about sore muscles. Thought you boys were in shape, did you? Now you're using working muscles instead of fighting muscles. Noticed my elves not complaining. May have to work up some sort of treat. I'll investigate stores later.

Cullen's down at the bottom of the stairs, where I expected. Some recruits have started drilling again. New people. While I was watching, one of them was pushed back, bumping into the Commander's table. Spilled ink everywhere. I didn't think our innocent Cully knew those words. He was trying to mop up the mess, the recruit having been hauled off to practice more, when I came up. "You should call that boy back."

"Why?"

"Because he missed a spot. That page is entirely covered with ink, except for that corner. If he's going to do something, he should do it thoroughly, right?" Cullen didn't smile, but the corners of his eyes crinkled. "I hope it wasn't important."

"It probably was. I'm not sure what half this paperwork is."

"You left it too long, bellowing at Leliana. Paperwork is like bunnies. They both multiply unexpectedly quickly."

"I was mostly bellowing at Cassandra, but you're right. You gave us quite the wake-up call. We have things under control, now. Waiting on some special supplies to come in."

"I wasn't trying to wake you up. I was just trying to protect my people. Waking you up was a bonus."

"Well, whatever it was, we're on track again."

"Good. It'd be a shame to see the Inquisition lose to Corypheus due to infighting."

"We won't let that happen, my Lady."

"Why does everyone do that?"

"What?"

"Assault me with a title that's not mine?"

"I think it's your bearing, honestly. You stand there and it just slips out."

"I see. So I should slouch more."

"That's... not what I meant."

"I know. See you around, Commander."

I visited Seggrit. He was frustrated with a letter he'd gotten from the Merchant's Guild. "They're sending someone else. Someone fancy."

"Does that mean you're out of a job?"

"The Inquisition's supply will be handled by someone more pleasing to a noble like Trevelyan."

"Shows what they know. How's this. I refuse to deal with someone I don't know. I know Ethelathe's not very big, but if you could help us negotiate for our supplies, I'd appreciate it. I'm horrible at haggling. I tend to just pay the asking price."

He was displeased. "You paid the asking price at my table?"

"Well, yes."

"Sweet Maker. I'll do your negotiating, Chrissy. Someone needs to watch you. You'll bankrupt us all. You never pay asking price!" He ranted about on that note for several minutes, with my interjecting apologies and promises to do better. At least when I left, I felt better. Thinking about it, it would explain both why he's still in Skyhold and why he's a bit snarky at the Inquisitor later. He's still here because we need him. And Mika's here. That might have something to do with it.

Lots of people arrived today. It's like the reputation of Haven kept people away. Skyhold is a new and unique and mysterious place. Everyone wants to visit. Probably a hundred people from different places. I had them set up down below, with the others. Worker bees can be vetted by Leliana's people. No elves have come up so far, or I might have a different opinion. We're now at 49 elves, and probably 500 plus humans. Plus an unknown number of recruits being trained down below. That's not my department.

Supplies expected tomorrow. I have to decide if this is a dry county or not. Do I nearbeerify the incoming alcohol? I'm figuring no. The tavern's going to need stuff, and it should be up in no more than two weeks. The cleanout is almost done. Half the stairs were rotten, but the floors were generally sound. Ish. The railings are in terrible shape, and the building itself needs some work. Lots of wood incoming, too. Have to figure where to put that. Foodstuffs, basic furniture. We'll probably make most of that last one. Fancier furniture for the noble spots.

We've uncovered at least fifty bedrooms, as well as several rooms that look like dormitories. Far more than you see in game. This place is huge. Haven't made it to the garden yet. Door won't open. Probably blocked by something. Or someone, I suppose. Wonder what might be in there he doesn't want us to see? I have a feeling we're cleaning up after he cleans out. It's going to take a while to get this place habitable.

Cassandra came by at the end of the day for my lists again. She thanked me for being on top of things. Not a word was said about the other day. She handed me some keys on a large ring, for the doors we've restored, telling me which went to what door. Temporary stores, guardhouse, main hall, bedroom wing, the door that I know leads to the prison that we've not cleaned out enough to investigate yet, some others. Told me that the people will probably come to me to get things opened. Ooookayyy. I am the keymaster. Just need to find my gatekeeper. All hail GOZER the Destroyer.

Dinner, singing, talking about the first day of school with the mage kids. Apparently the mage kids are not permitted playtime. Everyone needs recess. And three are elves. I may just claim them. I'm thinking about it. Dorian has scooted his cot next to mine. The cots are too small, and I'm only using half of mine. So I guess I'm sort of sharing. Besides, I'm warm, he says, and he thought I might prefer to sleep next to someone. He remembers hearing that, but not from where. Thank you, Cole.


	11. Day 8, 12 Cloudreach, 9:41

Skyhold, Day 8, 12 Cloudreach, 9:41

"You are wandering the courtyards in your nightclothes now? Making sure enemies know you are defenseless?"

"I had Cole with me. I was never defenseless."

"I disagree. I spoke to the Herald. You are not invisible anymore."

"Pfft. I am known only to about 500 people, if that. No one else has ever even heard of me. There are maybe a hundred people in Thedas that would even notice if I left today. And a quarter of those would easily confuse my face with Marta's or Garalen's."

"No family anywhere? No friends or lovers left behind somewhere?"

"We asking personal questions now?" He made a noise. "Goodnight, Solas." He stood there, not leaving, so I woke myself up.

* * *

It was probably only an hour or two past midnight when I dressed and got up, leaving Dorian sprawled over both cots. Leorah apparently lays out my outfits after I go to sleep. There was only one available. A dress. Surprise, surprise. She likes me in dresses. I suppose that since I'm not really doing anything but organizing recently, I can do that. But if I need to get dirty, she'd better not hide my pants.

Elias was apparently supposed to be on watch, if I had to guess, because he was sitting up on his cot. The human man and Garalen were laying down, the latter back to back with Andrew. I thought about waking Elias up, but he needs his rest. Garalen's going to be pissed at him. I'm wasn't going far, so I should be fine, I thought. Just to the bridge, and the soldiers will be able to see me. I mused out there, watching the moons and the firelights, until it looked like it was heading for predawn.

I managed to get back into my tent and onto the now-empty portion of Dorian's cot before anyone woke up. Nobody around for my catnap, which was nice. One dose of asshole is enough for any day.

I thought I'd gotten away with my midnight walk, but I neglected one main detail. I was fully dressed when everyone else awoke. And asleep. So Elias was yelled at, and I had to apologize. I promised I'd wake somebody next time instead of being too nice and letting people get away with sleeping on watch. Oops. I pulled Elias aside after we left the tent and apologized for getting him in trouble. He got a bit warm under the collar. Apparently I should have apologized for leaving without telling anyone, not for his dereliction of duty. Ah, well.

I did go over to the Chargers' fire. I brought their mug and my own, but left mine strapped to my belt. Krem and Lisa were both up, as well as several others. I thought about staying, but the wary look on their faces hurt. Not Krem so much, but the rest of them. I handed Krem his mug with a smile, and started backing away. Right into a very large wall of something. I squeaked and turned. Turns out I'd walked into the Iron Bull.

"Good morning, The Iron Bull. I was just returning your mug. Krem's mug. I'll let you all enjoy your breakfast."

"Not having any coffee this morning?"

"I need to get back to my people and get breakfast on."

"Fifty people and none of them can handle breakfast? Why don't you sit down? Join us. We've got porridge."

"How'd you? Nevermind. I should have expected it."

"It's not a secret. I think you're the only person around here that actually likes porridge."

I sighed. "I'd be pleased to join you for breakfast, as long as Elias can eat, too. He's probably hanging back there somewhere trying to pretend he's not watching me."

He gestured at a log, and I sat. He plopped down across from me. "Do you always walk around with no boots?"

I glanced at my feet. "I forgot."

"Might want to avoid the work areas, then. Nails and splinters aren't good for your feet."

"Plop me in a safe little box, so I can't get hurt. That'll make them happy. Shoes pinch. Boots are worse, in some ways." Damn, sounds like Cole is rubbing off.

"You feel hemmed in?" He actually sounded a trifle concerned.

"Doesn't everyone? It's not important. Didn't you say porridge? And coffee. I could use some coffee." I was fed, caffeinated, and released back into the wild with very little else in the way of prying. I made sure I said goodbye to everyone. Uncomfortable breakfast. Hopefully coffee is in the supplies coming in today. Then I could have some at my own fire, with a decent excuse for why I'm not coming to theirs. And hey, I might get more than one cup.

Back at my own camp, I found my shoes and put them on. Delivered the littles to the mages, then got set up. The keys become very important very quickly. "Mistress Chrysopal, I've been told you can unlock the main hall for us." Or the bailey. Or the tower. Or the whatever. Apparently everything is locked now, and I seem to have the only available key. I think I spent the first half of the morning unlocking doors.

The rest of the day I spent comparing traders' lists to my requisition lists. When I had been told "supplies" were arriving, I had been picturing some wagons. Maybe five or ten. Nope. The merchant came up with two wagons, and said he had thirty more below, as well as several laden pack animals and some goods carried by people. If the rest were laden like these two, I'm not sure where we're going to put it all. I told him to start with the foodstuffs, and I'd be checking the wagons against the receipts and the requisition lists. BEFORE he unloaded.

He was also travelling with several of Leliana's agents, and they were leading a pack animal with a huge box, wrapped in red cloth. Shaped like a box of roses, but much larger. Dare I say stupid-long sword large? Several other things were on that particular animal, as well. The guy "in charge" got rather irate when I wouldn't let them through without talking to someone in charge. No paperwork, no information, just "it's important for the inquisition, let us through. No you can't look at the stuff." The merchant had TONS of paperwork. The refugees are filling out paperwork. The people here to join up are filling out paperwork. These people want to come in without even giving their names? I don't think so.

So one of the regular guards went running off, and brought Charter back. Now, I've never met Charter, but we've all seen her. She's a recognizable figure, so I was reassured. I turned the whole pile over to "authority" because it was likely they were legitimate. Honestly? I wanted nothing to do with it, really. There's just no way any smart person is going to let unknown boxes and unknown people into a supposedly secure area with no screening at all. Later, I was pulled aside and told that I'd done it correctly. The guards that had let them up sans paperwork, which they actually had, were getting a new one ripped by the Commander. Too Right.

By the end of the workday, we'd only gotten about half the wagons unloaded. Thank goodness the man'd expected that. He had the facilities and supplies to camp down below until tomorrow. Some of the supplies due to be unloaded tomorrow are things like vials, beakers, glass tubing, and the like. Lab stuff. So I went hunting Adan.

Adan's setting up in one of the towers soon. He's happy as a clam. They've taken him off healing and wound care and want him to make other things. Bombs, tonics, medieval napalm kinds of stuff. He's really pleased. He much prefers blowing things up and playing with elements to healing. Now that they have "real healers" on board, including a "studied doctor". Probably that lady who talks about the balance of the humors. She bleeds just one of mine, without really good cause, like an out-of-control subdermal hematoma (where the blood pools and clots under the skin, worse by far than a bruise), I'll shove her medical "license" where the sun doesn't shine.

On a sadder note, his liaison with Minaeve didn't last much past Haven. She's back in with the mages, taking up her apprenticeship under Vivienne's underlings. Very pro-circle and pro-Templar, because she just wants to learn without worrying about the rest of life. She told him that their romance was a "fun interlude", but that she had to get back to her "real" life. Ouch.

You know, I'm all for love who you love, but I've noticed that nearly all the human male people around here prefer elven female people. It's reminding me of Braveheart. "If we can't get them out, we'll breed them out." So sayeth the King, as it were. Considering that the child of a human is always human, they may be effectively doing so, to both the dwarves and the elves. The Qunari take selective breeding to the extreme, and so they're not likely to be improving the elven and dwarven stock, as it were, either. Andrew, with his bright spot, and Daniel, with his, may be different. I don't know. It's just that I wonder, how small of a population are elves right now? Dwarves? And are we (or they) really willing to breed ourselves out of existence? I don't know what the answer would be. Probably not my business. It's a puzzle, for sure.

Sam caught up with me right before dinner. I'm to report to one of Leliana's people directly after breakfast, for an hour. When I asked why, he said, "Because you need to learn to dodge, at least." He gave me a hug on parting and told me he'd see me soon. Shortly after that, another person, whom I didn't know, came up to me and measured me from head to toe. He asked permission, first, and I was startled enough to say yes. Literally put his foot on a knotted rope, held it up to my full height, and marked a number down on paper. Then he left without any further communication. Weird.

Dinner was better fare tonight. Shocking, I know. After dinner, I heard a very polite argument between Madame de Fer and our own Dorian. Vivenne was encouraging him to roost "among his own kind." Meaning mages, I'm sure. I meandered up to the argument. He was tight around the eyes. Just about the only indication I've seen when he's annoyed. She spotted me and rolled out, "Oh, is this pretty thing why you're avoiding us? Really, Dorian. If she's still claiming she's a mage, you should know that I've looked at her myself. She's completely unremarkable."

"I agree, my Lady," I chirruped at her. "The Templars have told me repeatedly that I do no magic they recognize." Dorian coughed.

"So you retract your claim to magehood?"

"I never made any such claim."

"I am curious to meet the mage in your encampment, however."

"Why, my dear Lady, you are looking at him. He's the only full mage that has been recognized among us."

"I see. Dorian, darling, you and I are simply going to have to talk about the rumors of an invisible barrier."

He glanced at me. "I'm afraid I don't know exactly how it was done, or even which person did it. Perhaps it was this place? It positively drips enchantment." It was very hard to keep a straight face as they bid their farewells. So scrupulously polite. As he came up to me, he said, "You, Chrissy, are not nice sometimes. You implied that I was the one holding that barrier. And said that you weren't a mage!"

"Dorian, love. I said no such thing."

"I was standing right there. Or did my ears deceive me?"

"She mentioned that I was unremarkable, and I agreed with her. She's the kind of person who adores being agreed with. And then I told her that the Templars said I do no magic they recognized. Is that not true?"

"That… that… is NOT the way it sounded. She inferred completely different information. And you know this."

I arched a brow at him. "Now how would an inconsequential knife ear with no obvious skills at anything other than organization possibly know that?"

He hooked an arm around my shoulders. "If she corners me asking about that barrier, you will owe me. And I want to see you play Wicked Grace with Varric."

I just smiled. "I've never played Wicked Grace."

The kids had fun at school. Apparently the mage kids their age are interesting and intelligent, but rather naïve. I had to remind them that they shouldn't take gifts just to be someone's friend. A bought friendship is worth little to anyone. If someone was willing to give them something just to have a friend, then they probably needed one very badly. A person I would be proud to call friend would make an effort to befriend a lonely person – without a bribe.

I'm not looking forward to the morning. "Learning to dodge" without caffeinating first? Oi vey, that doesn't sound fun at all. Crap. This must have been what Solas meant when he said I wasn't invisible anymore and that he'd talked to Sam. If I see him in the fade tonight, I might just paste him one.

Oh, and yes, I remembered to lock all the doors back up, in case you were wondering.


	12. Day 9, 13 Cloudreach, 9:41

Skyhold, Day 9, 13 Cloudreach, 9:41

It's like the fade is divided into layers. First, that part that is your own mind, your memories. Second, that part that is collective memories, recorded by the spirits who dwell or perhaps just left lingering like a ghost that replays its final day over and over. Or like those ghosts that walk through walls that were put up in the last century. The last part is the part you can play with. Your waking dreams, or perhaps the imagination. Perhaps a fourth layer, the part between the waking dreams of others and yourself, but I think the various dreams undulate against each other. Maybe more. If someone could take a portion of their waking dreams and fix them into place, likely using magic, and make them accessible via some device, then a pocket world could be created. If I'm seeing this right. So where does that place the different realms of the multiverse?

Things one muses about. Those were my thoughts upon waking, at least. Like I'd spent all night debating fade metaphysics with myself. For a moment I wondered if I'd been debating with someone else, but there aren't any traces of things I hadn't already been thinking in the musings. So while it's possible, I don't expect so. Plus, I didn't find any new insight. If I'd been talking to someone, I'd expect new ideas. Someday I'm actually going to sleep in. It seems I get up earlier and earlier. With random philosophical crap cluttering my head.

Dorian really is cute when he's asleep. He curls up like a kitten against anything warm. First time I've shared a bed with someone of the opposite gender, even platonically, and not woken up with his hands in my pants. Or bra. Or whatever. Not mauled. It's nice. He's probably been mauled by some female people, too. Well, if I have my way, no one will be mauled without consequences.

Garalen and Andrew weren't in bed. Probably slipped off to canoodle. At least I don't have to worry about waking someone up. They're already awake. I made my way out of the tent to find Dalish making herself free at my fire, "bow" within reach. "You here of your own will, or under orders?" I asked.

"Both, to be honest. I don't retract my words. I don't know what you can do, and you're dangerous."

"If you say so."

"How'd you do it?"

"I got a mage to join forces with a Templar."

She sucked in a breath. "I'd never have considered making a Templar's abilities part of a spell."

"People in Thedas appear short-sighted in that fashion, it seems. Dividing everything up. This type for this group, this type for that one, no one training across disciplines. As well, they're deliberately breeding the talent away." She frowned.

"We are not. We encourage the talent where we find it." She sounded proud of that.

"Of course you do. Unless there are too many mages in a clan. Unless the mage is not very talented. Unless the mage is too rebellious. It's not 'safe'. And how many keepers are encouraged to bear children like others of the people are? Are magically inclined children passed around like any other commodity, for the betterment of all? The circles are worse, of course. They do their best to ensure that mages never bear, and if a mage has a child, the child is removed immediately. Either to another circle, unaware of any family connection, or destroyed."

"You may have a point."

"And I may not. Your people must find their own path. I mean no insult to their ways. So must the humans, though I take greater issue with their ways. Ethelathe, I have hopes that they'll let me be part of the path they set."

"Which clan abandoned you?"

"You assume I was abandoned?"

She colored. "I mean, you seem so. Well, you've no Vallaslin, but..."

"I don't cower like a city elf."

"Yes. And you have the scolding tone of an elder."

"I was ousted from no clan, and have never lived in an alienage. I have Ethelathe, and they have me."

"I see."

"Your group has nothing to fear from me, unless they intend to harm me or mine."

"I will talk to them." She didn't look pleased with our conversation, so I didn't expect good things.

"People often hurt or ostracize what's not like them, until that thing conforms to expectations. The slightest hint of a difference, even if the source is unknown, is enough to wither the first flower of friendship. Why should you be any different than anyone else? I do not conform, therefore…" I shrugged.

"Enjoy your day, Dalish. You can now say you've done your duty and investigated the anomaly. Let me know if the Chargers need anything else from me." Her face looked like she sucked a lemon at that (apparently I wasn't supposed to say something like that), but she had specifically refused to apologize. Then she comes, prying for information. I love the Chargers in game, but I can't be around that constant fear and wariness. Maybe it'll get better with proximity and time. The Iron Bull was neither wary, nor afraid, but his people are not him. I'm sorry, but I just can't make nice with someone who is sitting there, weapon at the ready, waiting for me to make a wrong move.

Eadras took me to task for not being friendly. I told him that she had come to find me wanting, so I gave her only what I chose. "Do you always give people what you choose?"

"Not always. But acting to someone's expectations has its place. Nothing I said would have improved her mood or her opinion in the short run. Perhaps she'll think on the things I did choose to say, and it will affect the long run."

"Sometimes, Da'len, you worry me."

"Only sometimes, Hah'ren? I must be slipping." That got a chuckle.

"There is to be a meeting in the courtyard. This afternoon. They want everyone to attend, if possible."

"It's about time."

"It is?"

"Yes."

"I'm never going to understand you, am I?"

"What would be the fun in that?"

I skipped breakfast. I wasn't hungry. It was busy enough no one noticed. Or at least didn't comment, though some snacks showed up mid-morning. I unlocked everything, as people asked. We got busy getting the rest of the supplies in. A lot of it was things like basic equipment for the soldiers. Not arms, but belts, boots, and such. Lots of cloth and leather of varying kinds. Wagons of lumber. One wagon of steel ingots. Raw flax. And seeds. Lots of seeds. A few seedlings. We've got to get to those fields. Somebody's planning a garden. I have a brown thumb, so hopefully someone ELSE will be doing the actual gardening.

More people came in, too. There's quite a backlog in paperwork. That's for Leliana's people to handle. I've only been informed that there may be an influx of elven people. There've been rumors spreading that the Inquisition doesn't tolerate the mistreatment of elves. I told them that I'd welcome any that made it past Leliana's screening, but that I would only claim those I wanted. That seemed to confuse them, but I think they assumed all elves were "my" people. Uh, no, not exactly. Ethelathe is a choice, not a default, made up of all sorts of interconnected threads, most having nothing to do with me. How do I explain that?

Cassandra went walking by, Inquisibabe in tow. She was having a very serious conversation. I sent the messengers out to the work areas to let them know we needed to break for announcements. We were all in place when they mounted the stairs to the landing/dais. Dual purpose thing. Cassandra said some inspirational words. Cullen said some inspirational words. Inquisibabe promised to do what is right. I'm so glad he chose that response. There was lots of cheering. Alcohol of varying kinds was broken out to toast the inquisitor, and the advisors took him up into the main hall.

About a half hour later, they were still in there. Varric rather nervously smoothed his hair at the bottom of the stairs, and adjusted his tunic. He resolutely climbed the stairs. Hawke must be here. I so desperately wanted to intrude. Was this a boy or girl Hawke? Mage/fighter/rogue? Sarcastic/sweet/aggressive? Inquiring minds want to know! And who did He/She romance? Ugh. No way to find out right now. Maybe Varric will introduce him or her around to some of his acquaintances.

Cassandra came by later with a few more keys to add to the ring. She asked if I was enjoying my work. I told her yes, of course. Why wouldn't I enjoy it. She complimented me on my stewardship, and indicated some other areas about to open up. The craftsmen were nearly done with their initial assessment, and soon we'd be able to assign quarters. She made a few specific requests for some people. Specifically, Helisma, Leliana, Josie, Cullen, and Solas. Sera'd claimed the turret room of the tavern by writing "mine" on an arrow and sticking it in the drawings a few nights ago. Cassandra didn't see any reason to argue. She left me with the drawings and asked me to please ensure that the baths were finished quickly, as well. Guess I'm handling room assignments.

Before dinner, a young blonde man came up to me. He introduced himself as Ser Morris, and told me he was the new quartermaster. He was hoping to set up in the tower near the armory, if that was okay. He looked forward to working closely with me. I searched his face, but there was neither lewdness nor any sort of mockery there. A nice fellow. When I asked him about his job, he waxed poetic about predicting problems and needs, and being in the right place at the right time with the right stuff to solve problems and provide for needs. He wants to be able to hand someone what they need just when they need it. Something about the relieved look on their faces. And he wants to serve the inquisition. He really seems to like what he's going to do. He's excited and sounds competent. Guess he's just nervous around Inquisibabe in game.

Oh, and it seems they managed to get into the garden space today. Minor cleanup, lots of pruning and weeding, and some repairs to walkways and such required. Some blank spots where it looks like things are missing are evident, but the general consensus is that they must have been gone a long time. LOL. Fresh-turned dirt, but it's been a long time? The mental gymnastics people will go through to explain things is astounding.

Dinner had FRESH bread. Pan bread, but still fresh and yummy. And butter. Someone managed to get real butter instead of the various things we substitute for it, too. I had two slices, because I love bread. Sank my teeth into some grilled meat of some sort, too. Thin slices on a stick, kind of like kabobs, with a really interesting sauce. Fresh supplies are a wonderful thing.

We'll have livestock soon, too. I really need to get those fields opened up. I'm fairly certain there are paddocks behind the stable we can't get to yet, too. Looking back at the day, I was supposed to have some sort of dodging lesson. Never happened. Oh, darn.

Singalong time included some songs I didn't know, some in languages I hadn't heard. The different fires are joining in almost every night, now. Sometimes we even hear singing from down below. Usually tavern-type songs, though. We have some of the ladders in place, so I climbed up on the roof of one of the towers. No one is going to see me here, and Andrew and Garalen are canoodling down below. I've got to stay up here long enough, I suppose. Don't want to embarrass them. The sky is so beautiful tonight. I still miss my single gray moon, though. Maybe I'll stay up here tonight, under the stars. There's not a cloud in the sky.


	13. Day 10, 14 Cloudreach, 9:41

Skyhold, Day 10, 14 Cloudreach, 9:41

I explored the keep in my sleep. I had a key ring, but none of the keys fit the doors. I could stick my arm in the keyhole, practically, but I couldn't find the tumblers. "That's not how you open doors here," I heard. Of course. What I'd thought was a normal dream, invaded by an asshole. When I looked, he was leaning nonchalantly against a wall.

"Do you invade everyone's dreams, or am I just special?"

"We're asking personal questions now?"

"That's a personal question? Interesting."

"I heard you were being given the keys. The Keeper of Skyhold?"

"Nope. I'm just centrally situated. In the doorway, even. Everyone can find me easily. Functioning as a head housekeeper, I think. Determining supplies and where to keep them, and generally who does what. Until they decide to make someone the Chatelaine. A keep this size probably needs a Chatelaine and a head housekeeper. There is so much to do to get it up and running. I was meaning to ask you, is there a way out to the fields? We're going to need those to feed this many, as well as for the animals incoming."

"Animals?" He quirked a brow.

"Chickens, for eggs and meat. Goats, for milk, and possibly meat as well. And someone insisted on some cows. I'm expecting them within a week or so. I'm also hoping there's a paddock or two somewhere. And a stable. I still can't find a kitchen. Probably behind a locked door. I'm told you prefer to have the Rotunda outfitted for you. And I'm assuming one of the surrounding rooms as a bedroom?"

"Do you always try to conduct business in your sleep? And why ask me?"

"I'm assuming you've explored this place thoroughly. Am I wrong?"

That got a smile. "I have indeed explored this place. There are kitchens. I'm sure they will be uncovered when the archway is rebuilt. Or the door is found. It is past another door that hasn't been opened yet. The stables are back there, too. There might even be a passage to the back fields from there. Do you throw yourself into everything like this?"

"That sounds distinctly personal."

"I admit a certain amount of curiosity."

"I don't know. I guess I've always gone all in about things. No point in doing something if you're just going to play at it."

"And you feel the need to go all in here?"

"I have nowhere else to go. I suppose I could leave and wander the mountains, but I'd rather spend the time making this place self-sufficient. We won't be able to rely on the generosity of others forever. Is this a prelude to me being asked to leave? The gentle warning? Have I overstepped?"

"You seem so self-contained, but you're unsure of your place."

"Rub it in."

"Excuse me?" Damn, another earth-only idiom, apparently, based on his reaction.

"Nevermind. Is there a point to this?"

"There has been no talk of asking you to leave. There has been talk of making your efforts official. You tend to have your finger in every pie."

"Is that a comment on my weight?"

"What? No!"

I crossed my arms. "Enough of the personal, unless you want me to start interrogating you. And you are not even close to ready to answer my questions."

"Are you sure about that?"

"Shall I demonstrate? I'll start simple. How old are you?"

"How old do you think I am?"

"You don't want me to answer that, Elder. And nice evasion. Point made?" He nodded.

We'd kind of been walking as we talked, and somehow ended up on the battlements. I hopped up on the low barrier to the courtyard side, walking it like a balance beam. It's only an inch high or so. Enough to scuff a footstep in warning. He watched me.

"Are you not afraid of falling?"

"Skyhold doesn't let people get hurt from minor falls. I'd have to be way up there to get any serious damage." I was pointing at the central tower, the Inquisitor's suite.

"You are indeed a strange one, Chrysopal. Did you test this?"

"I'm not the only strange one. I don't insert myself into other people's dreams. Is this something you do often?"

"Sometimes. Only with the most interesting people. And nice evasion. But it is now time for me to go. The sun arises." He's such a drama queen. I find it interesting he mirrors my own phrasing.

"I didn't notice. Goodnight, Solas. It's nice to have a conversation when you're not snarling at me for one thing or another."

"Snarling?" And he really needs to guard his expressions.

"Snarling, yelling, grumbling, complaining, growling, quibbling, grousing, whining. Did I catch them all? I'm sure I missed a few."

"I never whine. Wake up, Chrissy."

And I did. Weird dude.

* * *

I know I said that I wasn't going to spend any time with the Chargers, but Laura was missing this morning at breakfast. So I ended up asking people if they'd seen her. When I got to the Chargers, she was there. Wrapping her blue flowered scarf around one of Bull's horns. Because "it will make you so pretty". Poor guy looked trapped. Every time he tried to move, she just said, "Hold still, or you'll RUIN it." Or something similar. In that little girl voice. You know the one. Demanding, but in that cute way?

I managed to stifle my laughter before I approached. "Ser The Iron Bull, are you okay?"

"Fine." He practically growled it.

"Laura, can you come here a moment?" She hopped down off the log and came over. I squatted down. "Did you ask Mister Bull if you could play with his horns?"

"They're pretty now."

"Did you ask him?"

"Sort of." I looked at her. "I asked if I could put my scarf on his horns, and he said what, and I asked again, and he made that noise grownups make when they're irritated but they're going to let you do it, so I did." She looked at her toes. "They're pretty now." The expressions of the Chargers confirmed her words. They were all trying not to smile or laugh.

"They looked fine before, little bit. Was the scarf to be a gift?" She nodded. "I see. Wait here, please."

Now the Chargers and Bull watched me. I approached him. "Ser The Iron Bull. She meant no harm. The scarf is intended as a gift. It seems you have clout with ladies of all ages." I smiled at him. "If she was bothering you, why didn't you say so? Or move her away?"

"Miniature people are fragile. And cry for WEIRD reasons. And leak. I really didn't want her leaking anything. Also, young should be encouraged to explore their interests. How else will we sort them?"

"If you want her to leave you alone, you must tell her."

"She was fine. Is she finished?"

"Laura, are you finished?"

"I'm almost finished, Chrissy." She hopped back up on the log and wound a bit around his other horn. Then she gave him a smacking kiss on the cheek and ran toward our fire. "BYE!"

He eyed me. "You're smirking." I pressed my lips together.

"I'm trying not to. You used her to lure me over here?" Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Skinner hand Dalish a sovereign. "I just don't know how you lured her over here. Unless you went to my fire first, and she asked there. And you just had to sit at your fire for you to be comfortable." Skinner handed Dalish another one. Guess I got it.

"She likes the horns. You gonna stay for coffee?"

"After such machinations? It would be terrible not to reward you with success. You sure everyone else wants me here? I wouldn't want to creep anyone out." I looked at Dalish. She looked away, but not like she wanted me to refuse. "And I have to let people know she's found."

"We're good. We talked. And they know." Krem handed me a mug. "Need to get in good with you while we can. Just might be too important for regular mercs later."

"Why is everyone hinting at things like this?"

"Damn, and I thought I'd got to you first!" I finished my coffee and shook my head. (It was warm, not hot. I kind of downed it.)

"Work calls."

"No ditching practice today. Red wasn't happy."

"Nobody came to get me. I assumed that it was a joke on Sam's part. See you, The Iron Bull. Chargers."

"Tomorrow." I flapped a hand at them. There wasn't any wariness this morning. They were too busy trying not to laugh at Bull. Sneaky man. Now to figure out why, because this doesn't make sense. They're not going to go against him, but I'm still wary. Interesting that I was the subject of a bet or two, though.

The morning progressed fairly normally, opening things and figuring out where to put things, directing people and ordering tasks. It's no different than setting up a campout for the cub scouts, now that I think about it, except on a larger scale. About midmorning, an elf I didn't know in the uniform of Leliana's agents stopped by my table. I raised a brow. "Dodging lessons, I assume?"

"Something like that. Do you have a moment?"

I arranged one. Then the man took me out of Tarasyl'an Te'las into the snow. Not down the elevator, just out past the upper gate. He ran his hands over my arms, clinically and respectfully, and I didn't feel infringed upon. My hands were turned over and my fingers looked at. He had me stand on tip toes for a count of one hundred. Several other things. All balance and flexibility and configuration of body sorts of things. After a few minutes, I said, "Dude, is there a point to this? I do fat girl yoga. I can bend, okay?"

"Show me this fat girl yoga." Me and my big mouth. I settled into a tree pose (one of the few I have a name for) and proceeded to slowly stretch my way through my usual workout. I'd been neglecting myself, because my stretch wasn't quite as far as it has been. I BREATHED through the lot, since I didn't think he'd notice or care. It was amazing. I came away from the last pose feeling energized and bright and FULL in a way that I'd not felt. Not even at Haven in my nook. The colors were crisp and clean, the lines of the world sharper.

He noticed the difference. "You move differently now. Since you've finished. Smoother. However, your stretching could use updating. You're too familiar with those movements. Next time, I'll show you some new things to practice. I expect you to practice every day, even if I'm not here. Eventually we'll move to actual defensive moves. I didn't expect the level of muscle you have under your protective layers." It was obvious he was trying to be respectful.

"Bigger ladies have to haul more around on a regular basis. We need muscle."

His eyes got a glint in them. "It was a privilege to watch you haul yourself around. You may wish to consider clothing specifically designed for such movements. Yours are looser than you think they are." The only thing I'd shown during the whole thing was my belly, because the tunic slipped while I was inverted. And my hips, I suppose. My boobs were covered, because the tunic landed on them, and I was wearing pants.

I was woolgathering I guess, because I heard "Ethelathun?" Huh? What? I looked at him again. "It was also a privilege to work with you. I look forward to seeing you tomorrow." He reached up slowly and touched my hair. "You grieve." It was like the Agent turned off, and the person turned on.

"We all do."

"You made the ever-burning flame. It sings my sister's name."

"Your sister?"

"Davhalla. It sings her name. And no amount of snow quenches the fire."

I was glad to hear that. "That is not the only name it sings. I hope not to have to add any more. If the fire is quenched, I will wake it up with the screams of the person who defiled it, if necessary." Yes, I'm a bloodthirsty bitch sometimes. Or Dragon Age is rubbing off on me. Zathras walked me back. He introduced himself only after our talk about the Memorial.

When we got back, Inquisibabe and some others were saddling up. He was dragging Vivienne, Blackwall, Cole, Cassandra, and Sera with him. He hasn't taken Varric out for a long time, but I think this time he's separating Varric and Cassandra. They had quite the row over Hawke. Sam spotted me and came striding over.

He leaned over to hug me, and it looked like he was going to try to kiss me. I presented my cheek, and he sighed and smooched that. "You're a cruel woman, denying a man a kiss before going off to battle."

"Now, now, Inquisibabe. I'm sure there are plenty of girls who would be quite generous in their attentions."

"Inquisibabe? You do like me!"

"Yes, and you're so childish sometimes, it's adorable. Like a babe in arms."

He clutched his breast and staggered. "I'm hurt, beloved."

"Pish. I'm not your beloved, Inquisibutt. Flattery is useless. Where are you headed?"

"I'm going to Fallow Mire. There's a group of soldiers that need rescuing."

"Be careful. Stay out of the water, and come back safe."

"I'll do my best. Get this place up and running while I'm gone, please? It needs a woman's touch."

"It needs more than that, but I'll do my best." And they climbed in the saddle and rode out, taking the elevator down three horses at a time.

The afternoon went fairly smoothly. The only surprise was an official looking piece of paper saying that I spoke for the Inquisition in all things related to the residence Skyhold. Well. That's an interesting tidbit. I'm not sure exactly what it means, but it's bigger than head housekeeper.

At dinner, I asked Dorian and Varric if they regretted not being asked to go with Sam. Dorian immediately looked pleased. "I mentioned that I felt a little bit of a cold coming on. All the terrible cold up here in the mountains, you know. *sniff* He told me to take good care of myself and get better. I suggested that Vivienne would probably adore spending some quality time with him. And so I get to keep my new boots out of the mud, and she has a wonderful time slogging through the swamp. Oh, my aching chest. I need a poultice, my dove. And a hot water heater. And a cuddle. I'm so ill!" He added some dramatic hacking at that point, making those of us in the vicinity laugh.

"Poor baby. It sounds like you need some tea."

"And a footrub. Don't forget the footrub."

"Never going to happen. You could always go ask Uncle Harritt. Or The Iron Bull."

Varric added his two cents. "I'm just glad to be away from the Seeker. She's got quite a left when she's mad. I mean, was I supposed to just introduce her to Hawke when she'd just stabbed me in the book?"

"Speaking of Hawke," I slid in, "any chance I could meet your friend?"

"Yeah. He'll be around for a few days, getting provisioned. They're heading for Crestwood to meet up with some others there. Maybe tomorrow? He won't feel the need to hide so much with the Seeker gone."

"So what's his favorite weapon? Does he need a new one?"

"He's got a favorite shield, but he tends to pick up and drop swords a lot. I think he's good on needing a new one. You're not doing the giddy girly thing at him, are you? Because Merrill wouldn't like that."

"No, that's not it. It's just that he's a living legend. He's seen so much. I've seen Haven and Skyhold. That's it."

"Where would you like to go, Cuddles?"

"I want to see the Emerald Graves. The Waking Sea. The Rivaini Seers. Antiva. Tevinter wonders."

Dorian popped in at that point. "You are NOT going to Tevinter, my dove. You promised."

"Yes, Dorian. But Storyteller asked where I wanted to go, not where I intended to go."

We finished our meal, and did the singalong thing. Varric's voice is interesting. He's a tenor, pretending to be a baritone. So his tone is both too bright and kind of growly at the same time. I went up to the tower again, and am writing. I'm heading for bed soon.


	14. Day 11, 15 Cloudreach, 9:41

Skyhold, Day 11, 15 Cloudreach, 9:41

Dreams were quiet, probably because Solas was busy getting access to the kitchens set up. If I had to guess. It seems that every time I mention a specific spot, it comes available quickly.

I visited the Chargers in the morning, and they were gearing up. Sam's sending them to go through the rubble of Haven. They're to retrieve and identify bodies, recover supplies, and check the damage. Any enemy dead they come across is to burned. They've been given lead-lined gloves and boots. Those were in the supplies with the sword, it seems. I asked Krem if he had anyone who could draw in the group. When he responded in the affirmative, I told him that I would pay them if that person could draw the faces of any elves they found, so I can get them identified. When I tried to talk about payment, he cut me off. "That easily falls within the parameters of our job for the Inquisitor. We'll do it, Chrissy." I just hugged him, because I was grateful. When he questioned me, I declared that twice a month we were having hug day. Just in case something goes wrong and someone doesn't come home.

"It's a really good excuse for people who care but won't show it to do so, in a non-threatening fashion," I explained. "And wouldn't you feel better if you knew you'd shown people you cared about your feelings if something bad happened to you or them?"

They didn't answer that one, but I saw several hugs pass between support people being left behind and the active roster as they left. Bull came up as I was waving them off. He draped his arm over my shoulder, but it was light and obviously not there to hinder me or trap me. "Hug day, huh?"

"Yep. Physical contact is important for emotional well-being. And I like having an excuse for hugs."

"You come off as pretty stand-offish, to start, but Varric really did name you well, didn't he?"

"He usually does. You not going with them?"

"Nah. They don't need me on this one. Krem's got it handled. Did you really call the Inquisitor Inquisibabe?"

"Yep. And Inquisibutt. I figure I don't want him getting too big for his britches. If nothing else, us middle management people won't be in awe and will treat him like real people if we use it. And it's not offensive or anything. He's cute, in a puppy dog little boy fashion."

"Not for you?"

"No. He's for Josephine, but they don't know it yet. You missed that at the second bonfire, I suppose. He was using her thigh as a pillow and drooling dangerously close to her ladybits. She hasn't been able to look at him without blushing since."

"Mind if we use your fire while the Chargers are gone? Seems silly to keep a fire up for eight."

"Of course. I should have the tavern cleaned up soon, too. There is a dormitory-style room in the back and a single up in the tower. Thought they might be appropriate. Objections?"

"Sounds good. They give you the official word yet?"

"I got a paper that says I speak for the "residence" Skyhold, but that's all."

"I see. Want some coffee?"

"Is water wet?" That got a laugh out of him. I was looking at him when I noticed that he had Laura's scarf on. Not around his horns or anything, but tied to his belt. How sweet! Big man felled by little girl. A story older than time. It's always the gruff ones that end up suckers for children. I never thought I'd see the Iron Bull with a little blue flowered scarf swinging on his belt. I admit, I took advantage of "hug day" to hug everyone I knew that might like a hug. I wasn't kidding about how important contact can be when surrounded by death and loss.

Fifteen more elven people arrived, wanting to work. Leliana's people took their information, and asked that I let them in on a provisional basis. I asked them a few questions, and nobody had any serious ripples in their answers. I wonder if that's how Solas checks for deception. Makes me doubly glad I don't lie to him. 64 elves, 49 mine.

The main priorities were the main hall, getting Josephine set up, getting the solarium done for Leliana, and the kitchens. I have to get to that well. Josephine's office was functional, but the attached bedrooms needed work. She'd been sleeping on the chairs in there. Luckily, as we were getting the attached rooms set up, the door got slammed into the wall incredibly hard. Bricks rained down a set of previously unknown steps. It was all I could do to keep from giggling.

Amsel and Jaine were immediately sent for. They cleared the brickwork and tested the stone steps. While they did this, we cleared out the two bedrooms attached to Josie's space. You don't see those doors in game. There was also a bathing room between, with a beautiful, if dirty, porcelain tub in perfect condition. And there were holes in the walls over the tub. Places for piping? How much you want to bet this place had running water at some point? Once inquisibabe gets Dagna here, I'm pushing for that to be restored.

We gave one bedroom and the bathing room a quick scrub. Well, they did. Every time I pick up a brush or broom, someone glares at me. By the time the rooms were done, Jaine and Amsel had returned. There's a "big room" down there, with doors going off of it. The whole place seems stable, and since it's holding up the rest, that's a good thing. I snagged a lantern and went to look, over the objections of the craftsmen. The room was much larger than I expected, and I'd expected a big room. There were pillars in the middle, four, to support the ceiling.

Doors went off in all directions. There were the ones I knew, and a few I didn't. One next to the kitchens, which were much larger than I had hoped, was a cold room. It had ventilation to the outside, as well as what felt like some minor enchantment to keep the place a constant temp. My companions were shivering by the time we left, so I'm guessing it's colder than I realized. There were some servant's quarters, in surprisingly good shape, through a door on the opposite wall. Cleaner than most rooms, actually. The expected cellar, and empty vault. Strangely, the craftsmen walked right past the library down here. Jaine even had his hand on the "wall" the whole time, and didn't notice when it disappeared. That's really odd.

I went through the kitchen to the outside door and it worked. Yay! Jaine tried to stop me from going down the steps, but I glared at his hand on my arm and he let go. The well is huge. I pulled the cover off and sent for Dorian and a "mage healer, someone who can test water, please." Because of course Jailyn and a messenger teen had followed me. There's always one of mine nearby. The courtyard was in decent shape, as was the barn/stables, potentially.

Those were also bigger than expected. I glanced in there, and gleefully noticed the large door in the wall behind them. There was another, smaller door, large enough for a cart, nearby. I opened that and found the fields! And could look over and see space big enough for paddocks and livestock behind the other door, on a separate large (very large) outcropping. Still no way to get down to the verdant valley side. Acres of land available on this side, though. Plenty for the animals in route, plus more, and lots of room for food production. Next to the stairs up to the kitchens was an overgrown garden that looked like herbs and such. I think. My thumb's brown, so I left it alone.

Dorian and a mage-lady, not Renee, darn it, arrived. "Dorian, love. Do you know anything about potable water?" The lady next to him bristled.

"Just that you shouldn't drink non-potable water, Dove."

"I found the well. Can you supervise this probably very competent lady in determining the safety of the water in this well? I've got to get the kitchens cleaned. Sandwiches for dinner! We're going to be too busy to cook."

"Of course I can. We'll get back to you in short order, Chrissy."

I ran back through the castle to tell Cook I'd found the kitchens, and she was going to LOVE them. Two huge cooking fireplaces, a huge larder, a cold room, and rooms for up to about fifteen? Not fifteen rooms, but Cook would have her own small room, and there were several more for the undercooks. They were palatial compared to the tower room and outside fire she'd been using for a tenday.

Much more to clean, of course. I went back to my tables and made some more lists. We're going to need more lumber, more everything. Well, not everything. But more lots of stuff. And gardeners, to plant seeds. It's spring, and they have to be sown. The cooks got the kitchen shipshape in an extremely short amount of time. Not a whole lot of grime in there. The chimneys were checked real quick and found to be without wildlife or untenable soot build-up, so they could be used immediately. The water came back potable, with the addition of "yummy".

I set everyone who finished their tasks early to carting supplies for Cook. She set out sandwiches and cold foods, so we ate as we worked. Almost everything was moved by dusk. At firetime, I told Ethelathe about the nearly clean servant's quarters. Told the uncles about the reports I'd gotten on the armory. Sound, and when the steps were replaced, there'd be enough space for everyone to move in. The place had rooms in it, and I designated some of those rooms sleeping space instead of storage. There were also the upper decks for any apprentices or similar. The uppermost portion I planned to drape with curtains and set aside for the Seeker.

Ser Morris came up to my fire and asked to see me. We walked a bit, and he handed me a package. Within it were a Seal (not the animal, the thing you press in wet wax or ink to mark a document official), a note, and a ring with the inquisition crest. The note was from Cassandra. "Since you have been performing the duties with skill, we have decided to name you Chatelaine of Skyhold Keep. There hasn't been an elven Chatelaine in Ferelden, Antiva, or Nevarra in over one hundred years, but there is precedent. If it concerns the household, then it will fall to your domain. The military and their supplies, as well as requisitioning for the inquisition itself, fall to Ser Morris and Commander Rutherford. I hope you will work well together. Be happy in your duties, Mistress Chrysopal." It was signed by the three advisors and Sam, as well as Cassandra.

Oh my God. They just gave me Tarasyl'an Te'las. Not to own, or whatever, but mine to order, to stay, to care for, and to manage. To paint purple if I wanted. I could do what I wanted with it, within my domain. I had a Seal to order things under the auspice of the Inquisition without checking with the advisors first. I remember the SCA. I know what a Chatelaine is. My knees gave out a little bit. Ser Morris grabbed at me and led me to the steps, where I sat. My hands were shaking.

My threads were proven once again to go both ways, because Garalen, Feren, Andrew, and Elias showed up a moment later, getting between Morris and me. "No, no, it's not him," I said, and handed Andrew the note. He obviously had no idea what it meant, but congratulated me. Garalen read it and her eyes went wide. She looked at me, and I showed her the ring and Seal.

"Be careful, Chrissy. This paints a target on your forehead." Of course she'd think of that first.

I told them I needed to think, and they understood. Elias followed me down here, to the hidden library. Then apparently I walked through the wall. He panicked. I re-emerged immediately. I didn't see a wall. He could see and touch a wall that didn't exist for me. We ran back to get Andrew. I had to see. Andrew saw the room, too, but Garalen did not. So of course I had to get Dorian. Dorian saw a slightly hazy wall, and could get through with great difficulty and effort. Interesting.

I replenished Dorian's effort, and Andrew stood in the doorway while we explored. It's more than just one little room. It's three connected rooms of books, with bookcases that open by pulling sconces. Dorian pronounced it "entirely odd, but most things around you are." I know where I'm going to go to hide. Told Andrew that, too. At least this explains why this was the only room in the castle without any sort of evident cleanup. I'd always assumed it was an oversight. But why would they ignore one library for another?

They had singalong time without us. I got back just in time for kisses from my littles. I'm writing in my tent, because that human guy's not around. It's been a wholly exciting day. Leorah's already planning a "fitting" wardrobe. I told her it better be mostly pants I can work in. I'll probably have to have that argument with her on a regular basis. Ethelathe is excited, too. I can feel it like tiny sparks on my skin. I'm probably too excited to sleep, but I'm going to try.


	15. Day 12, 16 Cloudreach, 9:41

Skyhold, Day 12, 16 Cloudreach, 9:41

Quiet night, mostly because I didn't sleep well. Too excited/surprised/worked up. After hours of dozing interspersed with tossing and turning, I decided to tour the gardens that the Chantry will reside in. They're pretty bad, I guess. I don't know much about gardens. There were boards making pathways until they figured out where to put the stones. They'd already put in the statue of Andraste, and the sisters were sleeping on the walkway. I do not have "clean the cloister" on my list. They want the cloister cleaned, then they can do it themselves. It's RIGHT THERE. They don't have to look far.

After that I meandered about the main courtyards. As we filled the towers, the courtyard was emptying of tents. It used to be that nearly every spot was taken up by tents or bedrolls. Now Ethelathe and some soldiers' tents, as well as the healers' tents, are all that's left. As I was walking, I thought about the skyhold improvements. Even if inquisibabe didn't get it done, I think I'm going to put the Healer's building in place. Stone floors are just more sanitary than dirt. And considering that there's plenty of room for a sparring circle, too, I figure I'll just put one of those in, too.

The Chantry garden would likely be a good addition. Wonder how they'd feel if I put a crucifix in there. LOL. Or a Buddha statue, or any number of symbols from my world. Thor's Hammer, Zeus' Lightning Bolt. Athena's Owl. Anyway, that's a bad idea, though funny. Since we have the herb garden next to the kitchens, herbs in pots all the way over here doesn't seem very practical. If the Chantry sisters want that, then they can plant them. I probably wandered for an hour or two, and then I slipped back in bed, and to blessedly dreamless sleep.

In the morning, Bull and his support were at our fire for breakfast, and they brought a whole bag of ground coffee. If he's looking to bribe me, then he's got an in. They can eat with us anytime. The kids are actually in pretty good hands at the mage tents. I've almost got a decent spot for them worked up. And a great nursery section, too, if I can get a wall knocked down.

They got the first scaffolding up today. Work on the causeway should begin tomorrow. Scaffolding is going up everywhere. It's like they waited for inquisibabe to leave before getting it done. Tavern should actually be finished by the end of the day, oddly. Wasn't expecting it that quick. Fewer boards were rotted than they expected. Plastering will have to wait. Functional is key right now.

I looked through a few more doors downstairs and discovered rooms near the Undercroft. At least, they have similar views. Smaller, though. No clue what they're intended for. I'm going to use them for the crafts. Sewing/weaving/dying, pottery/dish making, soap-making, etc. With them so open, they'll let any odor out, but they're warm. Not too warm, but not cold, despite the open air chill that should be there. As we get Skyhold clean, we'll be going back to our regularly scheduled jobs.

The soldiers got Commander Cullen's tower cleaned up and set up, including moving in the desk. That was wonderful to watch, since the men tend to strip off a little bit after lunch because the sun beats down. We've not had a single rainy day since we arrived. It's spring, shouldn't it rain?

A gaggle of gardener/farmer types showed up, with draft animals. We managed to get them up the stairs, down the stairs, and around through the kitchen to the rear courtyard. Only had to deal with Cook's aggravation. I apologized, but said they were going to need the animals to put in her vegetable gardens. She calmed down a bit at that point. Still, I need to find a pooper scooper or equivalent. One horse let go on my floor. Ugh. Not fun to clean by hand. They'll be staying in what looks like a double cottage on the outer wall (on the outside). They have their wives and families, and those wives refused assistance in the cleanup. They also have some rudimentary furniture. I told them if they needed something, to let me know.

I popped into Josie's office after lunch to explain the parade of farm animals, and to ask what the budget for the household supplies is. She had it all written out for me. I took it to Seggrit, to see how generous or realistic it was. Turns out it is generous, but not excessively so. He's going to contact his people to see about getting some things like cotton batting, more material, and the like up here. He'll get me a good price, he promises. I told him I'd put him on payroll, but not pay him commission. He complimented me on learning how to deal with shysters. No profit in cheating us, now. Lose a cushy job, if you do. I also warned him I'd be checking his figures. I was trained as an accountant. I started asking about things like double-entry bookkeeping in Thedas, and he had no idea. Christ. They're going to have to learn around here, at least.

Ran down to see how Harritt was liking the undercroft. He loves it. There's a few small rooms attached, big enough for a chest, a bed, and maybe an end table, and he's claimed one. Uncle Enborr has claimed another, and there is one more. I asked them to please not use it for storage, as there might be another person coming. They were probably originally storage, because there's no facilities here for evacuation of waste. They can toss the chamberpot contents out the window, I guess.

This place isn't really oversized from the outside, but when you start going down into the mountain, it's HUGE. I'm wondering now if there's passages in the walls. I've not found any yet, but that doesn't mean anything. There's no way from the prison area elsewhere, either. You have to come out past the soldier's barracks through to the main courtyard. I count 10 bedrooms in the cloister, intended for more than one. 10 above, obviously fancier for visiting nobles or family. Several towers, each with at least 4 levels, and some of those could be used for bedrooms. Undercroft with 3 bedrooms, servant's quarters with 25 small individual roomlets, 4 rooms off the kitchen, several fancier rooms near the servant's quarters, one connected. That'll be for the head housekeeper when I find him or her. One dormitory, the tavern, the armory with its bedrooms, Josie's rooms, the 4 rooms off of each of the *4* levels of the rotunda (because the library, despite appearances, is two levels tall), 2 rooms in the barn, as well as a stableboy dormitory, two multifamily cottages against the walls outside, the gatehouses, and dormitories for soldiers off the main entrance to the prison. This place, right now, without adding outbuildings against the walls, for which there is plenty of room, could probably house all of us. That's not even counting the randomly inserted bathing rooms and the communal bathhouse under Cullen's tower. Just got to get it clean.

Ethelathe will be settling into the servants quarters tonight. They decided. Dorian's moving into a bedroom off the library. Solas is being placed in one off the ground floor. Leliana's already claimed the upper floor, and has several agents per room up there. I'll probably sleep at Dorian's tonight. Everyone spent the afternoon claiming and cleaning their sleeping spaces. Except for those who had already done so, like the cooks and the people in the armory and so on.

By the time dinner came around, I'd thoroughly explored what I could get to. It takes forever to just traverse the halls. We cleaned a lot, too. We're dirty and smelly, but the bathhouse was pristinewhen we opened it. I fully expected a large crowd this evening. There are still a few doors I haven't opened, but I need to get what I've got up and running before I'll look for more.

After dinner (Hot! Plentiful! And eaten at tables in the next door DINING ROOM!), I headed over to the bathhouse. I grabbed my spot early and had a long, hot soak. The place had been divided into three sections: Girls, boys, and "who gives a shit I just want a bath". I really need to take a look at this place, because the dirt sort of swirled off and fresh water came in from somewhere. My hair was finally clean, and I stayed in until my fingers pruned. I took a look at my hair. It was longer than it should be. It's growing very fast. Probably a full inch in 10 days? That's weird.

We held singalong in the area outside the servant's quarters. GREAT acoustics. I got everyone tucked in, and Dorian and I headed up to his room. First night in a real bed in ages. Should be fun. I think I'm going to claim a bedroom either in the vault area or one here. We'll see. "My" mages have been assigned to the rooms on the next library floor up. As for everything else, I had halfway expected Zathras to show up, but I've not seen him in two days now. So much for every day. Dorian has a great view. I still miss Earth, though.


	16. Day 13, 17 Cloudreach, 9:41

Skyhold, Day 13, 17 Cloudreach, 9:41

I was enjoying a pleasant dream about dancing with my little girl when Egghead showed up. I immediately blanked the entire dream. The living room we were in, my daughter, I didn't want questions on any of it. He opened his mouth to speak, and I held up a hand. "If you're going to mention anything in my private dreams, I don't want to hear it."

He had obviously been going to ask something, because I could see him take a moment to recalibrate his thoughts. He shifted gears completely, saying, "I missed hug day."

"That wasn't what I expected to hear." He shrugged. "Does that mean you want a hug?"

"Would that be alright?"

"Real or fade, Solas?" He just shrugged, so I went over and hugged him briefly. He didn't even get a chance to get his arms up. "Do you have anyone who touches you, Solas?"

"Are we asking personal questions now?"

"I admit a certain amount of curiosity."

"I don't encourage touching, generally."

"Sounds lonely."

"That's not what I expected you to say."

"I live to disrupt your expectations." I may have been a touch snarky. "Hug day is safe. Everyone hugs everyone. There are no expectations in it. Just providing necessary physical contact. People are healthier and happier with it. It stimulates the production of oxytocin and dopamine, and reduces stress."

He looked confused. "I do not recognize all of those words."

Poor guy. "Never mind. It's not easily explainable. Just accept that I've read some of the studies on the effects of physical touch."

"There are studies on the effects of physical touch?" His curious look is cute.

"Back where I come from, yes. It's also why the elderly who live with children live longer. Kids instinctively touch a lot. There are actually professional cuddlers, who provide no services aside from platonic touch, as well. They're highly paid."

"That is interesting. So you say that people who touch are happier than those who do not?"

"Yep. Probably part of why you're such a sourpuss." I was smiling at him.

"A sourpuss?"

"Yes. A grouchy person who looks with disfavor on everyone around him."

"I do not look with disfavor on everyone around me."

"Could have fooled me. Did, actually. I must be imagining the judgmental sneer."

"I did not come to be insulted." He was not looking like he was insulted. He looked like he was enjoying our talk. If he'd looked insulted, I wouldn't have gone in that vein.

"Nope. You wanted a hug. I don't know if hugs work in the fade like they work elsewhere, though. You don't look happier." I smirked at him.

"You are a puzzle, Chrysopal. I think you deliberately bait me sometimes."

"Would I do that?"

"Probably. I'll leave you in peace." He touched the ends of my hair. "What is the custom here? Can you do anything to neaten it, or must it stay for a certain length of time?"

That pricked my anger. "There is no specific time," I snapped. "Do people in Thedas really recover from their grief so quickly? It's only been fifteen days, I don't even have a full list of the dead yet, but you're not the first to ask if I can "fix" it. Do you all really care so shallowly? I feel doubly bad for those that have been lost if others dismiss them so easily. I'll do something with my hair when my heart is recovered enough to do so. The wounds are still too fresh." I was a touch upset. This bothers me, greatly. How can they just go on like that? The dead deserved to be mourned.

"I meant no offense." He looked a bit taken aback by my outburst.

"No one ever does, but that doesn't change it. Good evening, Solas. In case you didn't know, your rooms are ready. First door on the left in the rotunda wall rooms, ground floor. If you need anything else, feel free to let me know." It was as much as I could give him.

This time he faded away after nodding. He looked a touch sad. Maybe he really didn't mean to offend. I'm SO SORRY my hair is apparently unsightly. NOT. They can deal with it. It's neater than Sera's, honestly. As she would say, they can "shut it."

* * *

I woke when the sun hit my face. Actual windows! Dorian is adorable asleep. He really is a pretty man. He deserves some happiness, and he's not going to find it with me in his bed instead of some burly guy. I'll give it a few more days, because I'm selfish, and then I'll find my own bed. He's been so sweet to hold me when I needed it. I got dressed in the previous day's clothes and carried my nightgown. I'm going to have to figure out where Leorah left my clothes.

I nodded at Solas, who was in the atrium. He quirked an eyebrow at me, but I ignored it. Varric was already in the main hall, as well. He'd been given one of the guest/family rooms. All the inner circle had their rooms planned, except Blackwall. I have to get the stables up to snuff first. By my calculations, I have six days before I have to worry about him needing a bed.

I met up with Leorah, who had my stuff in her room. She's going to get the textiles shop up and running today, or at least that's the plan. They also moved a desk down here, in front of the large painting. All my paperwork is on it, and the desk has lockable drawers! Fancy. And a comfy chair with extra cushions, too. I took a look at my to-do's. We should have the tavern finished today. That'll make Bull and them happy. Armory's complete. Stairs in the Quartermaster's tower were on schedule to complete today. Barn and stable to be examined. Scaffolding in the main hall looks complete, so work on the ceiling can start soon. A note from Leliana said more supplies due in today, so I'll have to make sure I'm out and about.

Breakfast! Porridge, eggs, bacon, biscuits. Cook's having a blast, and says we need our meals because we're working so hard. She loves the kitchens. They're the best she's ever worked in, she says. There've been some requests for delivered meals, and I approved most of them. Noble guest arrived, wants breakfast in bed. Check. Varric (breakfast and lunch) and Solas (all meals), delivered to work. Check. Dorian, breakfast in bed for two. Change that to one, and I'll deliver myself. Check. Leliana, simple breakfast fare for ten. Yep. Josie, at her desk, breakfast. Sure. Bull's in the dining room, soldiers eat where the soldiers eat. Cook made a few suggestions for meals, so I told her to make the lamb with mint and winter vetetables tonight, and if she needed my further input, to send me a note with options and requirements. We really need to have the menus together at least a tenday in advance, but that will take time. I'll be happy with three at this point.

Runners started picking up trays for the various locations. I snagged a helper, and we picked up the trays for the inner circle. She dropped off the tray for Varric, and I took the other two into the atrium. I smiled at Solas and put down his tray. He actually smiled back. "You doing servant duty?"

"I am a servant, Solas." His lips pinched at that.

"I do not consider you a servant, Chrysopal."

"Isn't that interesting. There is no shame in honest service, Solas. I'm not too proud to work, and it needs to get done." I left him, an odd look upon his face. That's twice I've pricked at him today. I should slow down.

Dorian was still asleep when I got up to his room. I set the tray on the endtable, and sat on the bed. His arm came around me and he tugged me under him, putting his head on my stomach. "Dorian, dear. What IS it with men treating me like a pillow?"

"Hmm?"

"Good morning. Breakfast is here. Do me a favor and let go."

"No," he mumbled. "You're warm."

"Are you sure? There's biscuits."

"Biscuits?" He sat up. "Is there butter? Real butter, not the bacon grease they've been using."

"Indeed. I brought it up myself."

"Thank you. You are a queen among women."

"Flattery will get you nowhere. I still insist on half the covers. At least." He chuckled, and I added, "and I thought you might like to join me for a walk. I heard a rumor that the new recruits are having wrestling practice this morning. Probably shirtless."

"Who am I to prevent a lady from ogling? Give me a few minutes to eat and dress, and we shall investigate those rumors." He twitched his mustache. He likes the idea of ogling as much as I do. I bid him goodbye.

I emerged into the library. The shelves are terribly empty. We're going to have to do something about that. Although that may be not my department. I'll have to check with Josie. I hopped over the railing and landed on the floor below. I just adore Skyhold. No damage from falls. Startling Solas into an actual exclamation was a bonus. I grinned at him. "I love Skyhold. So much FUN!" And I skipped off to chat at Varric until Dorian was ready.

Dorian arrived a bit later, and we traipsed down the stairs, Varric laughing at me. The new recruits were indeed practicing unarmed combat, and no few of them were topless. So glad to be able to start getting my fix in again. I probably watched for half an hour before deciding I had to head for work. I told Dorian that I just might have to make this a daily thing. "I seem to recall you already had, back in Haven. Or so I heard."

"I did. It's a great habit. Gets the blood flowing in the morning."

"I'm quite sure I agree. That it's a great habit, that is."

"Enjoy your day, Altus. I'll see you later."

"You as well, my dear."

I double checked with the construction guys. Tavern was basically done. I scheduled the move in of a bunch of bunk beds and a few singles. I had a little time on Sera's spot, but she had some really specific wants. She'd sent Eustace (the Quartermaster, and don't call him Stacy) a whole list of things she wanted. "Stuff needs a place" and all that. I'm having the window seats installed with hinges, as well. Lots of places for stuff.

Tracked down Bull and told him the tavern should be ready for him after lunch. Checked in with my forge guys. They're really happy with the armory. Quartermaster tower is on schedule; Eustace is pleased about that. He's tired of the banging. He's insisted on occupying the top floor when it's finished.

Spent an hour at my new desk doing paperwork before I decided I needed a break. I've been going full tilt for a long while. I leaned back in my chair and opened my SELF, checking on everyone. Minor injuries and bumps, nothing unexpected for the work they're doing. I've apparently got some wispy connections with a couple of the new elves. The connection with the people I came out of Haven with is strong. Steel cable strong, no joke. I get the sense that I belong to them more than they belong to me, though. Especially now.

The connection with Solas is still very tenuous. I test the connections by strumming my metaphorical fingers, so it was quite surprising to feel that one strum back. That's new. Guess I'm not the only one who checks on occasion. It feels weird, like ripples on your skin for a moment. Or maybe it was in response to me touching it first. Nobody else has done anything like that, though. Most don't even notice, except maybe Andrew. He stops still sometimes if I check when he's around. Dan's the same way.

Josie sent me paperwork stating that instead of having everyone get their gold in person, there are "accounts" being set up. Basically, the amount of wages earned will be tallied, and a person can go to the quartermaster or me to request something, and the price of it will be deducted from the tally. You can also go directly to her to get actual spending cash. Bank accounts of Skyhold. That's hilarious. Safer, in many ways, too. I wonder if it's in response to the payday from hell?

Zathras found me down at my desk. We headed out of Skyhold for my lessons. New stretches, look kind of like Tai Chi, but not exactly. He works like the old masters work, in kung fu or whatever. Actually twists my body where it needs to go when I don't get it right. At least he doesn't smack the offending part with a stick the way my childhood ballet teacher did. Didn't like her much.

After about an hour, he took me back in for lunch. I felt rejuvenated just from being out in nature. As we came in the main hall, I introduced Zathras to Varric as my instructor and the brother of a dear friend. "Anyone I know?"

"Possibly someone you knew, Storyteller. Did you have the privilege of meeting Davhalla?"

"Little blond girl, did the fetching and carrying for the visiting nobles?"

I nodded. "Yes, that was her."

"I'm sorry for your loss," Varric told Zathras. He was nodded at. We took our leave, and headed down to the common dining area. He's actually very interesting. He also seems to like to touch my hair. It's like the idea of a physical sign of grief is odd to him. At least he's never asked me to "fix" it. He escorted me back to my desk after lunch, and told me he'd see me the next day.

The afternoon was devoted to paperwork and incoming goods. Keeping up records of the stuff we have would be so much easier with a computer. Glad I at least have an abacus. Got things actually be stored where they're going to stay. That's nice. Moving things twice wastes effort. Seggrit was on hand to help verify quality. He actually rejected two batches of cloth until the merchant lowered the price significantly. Seggrit told me later that the cloth was of inferior thread, being passed off as something appropriate for noble clothing. It wouldn't have held up well to the stress of tight lacing. Tablecloths and napkins, even perhaps pillows or bedding sort of stuff was his recommendation. Not clothing. Glad I hired him.

Dinner was fine. I ate with my people, and they told me all about what they'd done today. Daniel was excited about school. Everything was so DIFFERENT. And he was learning geography of Thedas, and the political stuff, and all the things I'd been at a loss to teach him. The Tweedles were also excited, but only because the history of the elves was taught, to a certain extent. I told them to be wary of Chantry versions, because every version had its own bias. Laura wants to fight, not learn to read and stuff. I may have to talk to Leliana about her. She's nearly old enough to foster or apprentice or whatever they do here. Anyone who can boss Bull around has potential.

Singalong time had a few more humans than I expected. We're away from the fires, after all. They have to deliberately seek us to show up. I mean, MY humans, sure, but there were more. Oh, and that one extremely talkative guy who is way overarmed is back, as of this evening. Just standing nearby and looking dangerous. Still doesn't chat. No clue who he is, or why he's about.

Leorah and the others fixed up one of the nicer bedrooms down here for me. It has an attached bath, including what appeared to be a commode and a large built-in tile tub, as well as a little sitting room. I was, am, very grateful. Pretty bedding, curtains on the posts of the bed, nice towels, the works. Even an armoire, with my clothing in it. I hadn't realized how much in the way of clothing I had. Three tunics, two dresses, several pairs of leggings, my vest, nightthings, and a plethora of underthings. On top of the clothing I was wearing. That's a LOT of outfits. There were also some odd pieces of cloth with laces. I asked about them, and was told they were footwraps. I don't know how to use those. I'll ask Zathras, maybe. They said it was because I was always forgetting shoes. The bed is huge. Maybe the equivalent of a queen size in U.S. mattress sizes. At least a double. They said they were drawn to the room. It just seemed right for me.

I snuck out after they left. I tried laying in the bed, but it didn't really work. I slipped out and knocked on Dorian's door. He thankfully let me in, telling me I was late. I'm doing my journal in here, and then I'm going to sleep. I'm just not ready to be alone.


	17. Day 14, 18 Cloudreach, 9:41

Skyhold, Day 14, 18 Cloudreach, 9:41

I remember no dreams, but that's okay. I awoke to sun in the face, again. I'm not sure I like that. Dorian grumbles when his heater leaves, but he likes to sleep in. Honestly, he does feel chilled sometimes. He's from a much warmer climate. I'm going to have to get him some better-insulated clothing. I don't think he realizes he's expending energy to heat the air around him.

I thought about what I knew of heat. It's just molecules moving against each other faster rather than slower. I very, very carefully thought of the air in the room vibrating just a hair faster, while opening my SELF. I knew I could cause too much heat, so I TWISTED very slowly, until the room was warm enough that he was beginning to perspire. I left it there, closing my SELF again. After a few moments to make sure the temperature wasn't rising any further, I left quietly.

I traipsed down the stairs. Last night I'd forgotten to collect fresh clothing, so I was still in my nightgown when I had to traverse the atrium. Of course, Solas was up. He arched a brow at me again, looking curious. I just smiled at him, and kept going down to my rooms. I need a robe.

I got dressed, headed out to breakfast. Double-checked the menu with Cook. Everything looks good. Varric was in the dining room, so I sat with him. "Chrysopal, I'd like you to meet a friend of mine. Hawke, this is Cuddles." He indicated the man sitting next to him. I should have known. Looked just like the default Hawk in game, sans the red streak.

"Nice to meet you. Varric's been talking about you," he said.

"Nice to meet you, too. Storyteller talks about everyone. I wouldn't believe everything."

"Said you stormed through Haven and changed the way elves were to be treated, and then stopped all the work here in Skyhold until you got an official document codifying it."

"It… didn't exactly happen like that. Kind of. It was far more complicated."

Hawke laughed. "Isn't it always? Sounds like you're one of those people, too. Shit drops in front of you and you can't just let some other schmuck clean it up. You hear about Kirkwall?"

"You'd never believe me. Let's just say I have a clue. And I didn't even have to stab Varric in the book."

"Of all the places to be stabbed, at least that one's easiest on the carpets."

We chatted for a while. I promised to make time later to chat, but I had breakfasts to arrange.

I snagged Solas' and Dorian's trays. I dropped off Solas' at his worktable, but he wasn't there. I took Dorian's up, setting it on his end table. "Dorian! Get it while it's hot, love." He rolled over.

"Did you put more wood on the fire? It's beautifully warm in here."

"Nope. Just playing with magic again."

His eyes popped open. "Playing? With the most volatile force in Thedas?"

"Of course? Why do it if it's not fun? I hear you laugh all the time."

"My dove, please tell me what you did."

"I vibrated the molecules of the air by rubbing them with glowy dust. I was very careful and twisted very slowly so as not to heat it up too much. Heat is just making things vibrate faster, after all. If you stop them from vibrating, they get colder."

"Don't tell me things like that before I'm awake."

"You asked!"

"Yes, but I didn't think you'd TELL me." He reached for the bottle near his bed and took a large swig, coughing. "Next time, make sure I've been fortified. We're really going to have to chat."

"Join me before dinner for the Calisthenics display?"

"What? Oh yes, of course." He muttered something about vibrating things and unnatural magic. "What did you vibrate, you said? Molecule?"

"Yes. The smallest unit of something, the point where if you broke it further, it would become something else. It's from the latin molecula, little mass."

He stuffed a roll in his mouth, and grabbed a quill and paper, making notes. "And you rubbed the magic on them to make them vibrate faster?"

"Sort of. I just rubbed the air with the glowy dust. And twisted with that magic muscle I told you about. Just a little bit. I did wait around a while to ensure I hadn't made it too hot for you."

"Maferath's balls, Chrissy. We need to improve your terminology. You can't go around saying things like 'glowy dust' and 'magic muscle'. Wait, for me?"

"Of course. You've been so cold, I wanted you to wake up warm for once. I thought it might remind you of home. As for the magic discussion, maybe tomorrow. Right now, I have to check on Solas' breakfast."

I went to go, and he snagged me in a hug. "I did wake up warm. Thank you. It was thoughtful." I smooched his cheek and left. He went back to writing and muttering in his pajamas as I did so, but he was pleased. And in a warm room.

When I got out to the library, I leaned over the railing and saw Solas buttering a roll. "Oh good, you found your breakfast." I ran down the stairs and emerged in his space. "I put some clover honey on there, too. In that little blue jar. I seem to have heard somewhere you had a sweet tooth."

He put some on his roll, and took a bite. "I want to apologize, Solas. I may have overreacted to your questions about my hair. My only excuse is that everyone seems to want me to neaten it or change it or somehow "fix" it. Like pretty hair is more important than grief. You probably didn't mean it that way, and I'm sorry I snarled at you."

His mouth was full, so he couldn't respond right away. He swallowed and responded. "Your apology is unnecessary, Chrysopal. It was none of my business in the first place, and I pried at something that hurt you. I also apologize."

"So we're back to the status quo?"

"Of course."

"Good. See you around, then."

I went down to my desk and checked my lists. So much to do. Headed outside to see that progress had been made on the causeway. I'd not noticed the day before. There was actually passage underneath. Excellent! We were expecting animals any time now. The stable had an all-clear note on it. I added "Blackwall's bedroom" to my lists, crossing of "stable stables". Dennet was out, too. He'd let the majority of the horses left out and about in the paddocks out back. We chatted for a bit, with him telling me there wasn't anything he needed right now.

I checked the farmer people. Tilling is underway, hallelujah. We need to be able to do it ourselves as quickly as possible. I want Tarasyl'an Te'las capable of supporting at least 750 souls on its own. Chicken coops are in. Goat pens and pig pens are in.

Leorah's got the Cloth room going. She saved me some yarn. She's turning into quite the designer, too. We're going to need pottery wheels and a kiln in the pottery room. Large cauldrons for the candlemaking and soap, and dying and laundry rooms. I can probably put a glassblower in the undercroft with Harritt and Dagna. He wouldn't sleep there, but could work there. That'd make the mages happy, too, to have to-order glassware for their experiments. That reminded me that I hadn't checked potion supplies or herb supplies.

There was a stillroom near the kitchen, and we had lots of herbs on hand, but we weren't full. I made a note for Adan asking about the shelf life of various herbs, and sent it off. I had no clue. Could be days or years for all my knowledge. I used to get my herbs dried in a jar, and my vegetables in frozen bags. The only canning I did was for fun. Speaking of canning, I wonder if they've got oranges here. A thing to ask Dorian, I'd bet.

Zathras interrupted an argument with Amsel about plaster. He took me out again and we practiced what I'd learned yesterday. It was easier, and I got in a bit of meditation. He escorted me to lunch, again. Varric raised his eyebrow at me. "Something I should know, Cuddles?" Looking back, I know what he meant, but at that moment, I was confused. "Guess not. Well, let me know. I've got book on a few possibilities." Zathras claimed ignorance as well as we got to the dining hall.

He's interesting to talk to. It makes me feel better and him feel better to talk about his sister. She was quite the little devil as a child. He asked if I was planning on visiting the tavern now that it was open, and I told him I had to check on Bull and the Chargers, so I would probably be eating there. Possibly with them. He didn't say anything else about it. Seemed disappointed. Probably had intended a date or something. Not ready. He's cute, but I'm not ready. I told him he could hang out, and he didn't want to meet Bull. Not sure why. Bull's a sweetie.

Afternoon went okay. Got a couple crates of chickens. Jesus they stink. Or maybe it's just because they were cooped up for so long. Pun not intended. Delivered them to the coops. Well, had them delivered. The rest was taken up with paperwork. Notes from the Nightingale and Seggrit, and Eustace. My paperwork appears to be reproducing. I got a note from Cullen saying he was available at any time if I needed him. Probably doesn't mean 3AM for a chat.

I stopped by there on my way to the tavern. He was muttering to himself about something or other. I knocked on the door. "Come in."

"Heard there was a calisthenics competition this afternoon before dinner. That so?"

"Yes. A bit of competition keeps the men in top physical shape. If they didn't have anything to strive for, they'd slack."

"You going to participate? I'd guess you can keep up with them, no trouble."

"That's the plan. At least for a little while."

"Oh good. Love to watch you guys work."

"Why did you come by, Chrissy?"

"Well, the note said anytime. Thought I'd see if I could make you smile."

That made him smile. "Go on with you. I'll see you later, below." I left.

Met up with Dorian. We sat on the dais/landing and drank a nice white wine while watching how many jumping jacks and how many pushups and how many various other exercises can I do competitions. Nothing like sweaty guys. There were some elves in there, too. Hubba hubba. They're ALL in good shape. We weren't the only ones, either. My habit is becoming quite popular amongst those who appreciate the soldierly form. Lots of female people ogling. Some cheering and betting, too. Every so often a soldier would get overwarm and remove a layer of clothing. Usually to cheering. REALLY wanted some dollar bills, I'll tell you.

I told Dorian about that particular tradition. And all the variations on a theme, of course. His only comment was "where is this again? You'll have to show me this 'g-string' thing. Can you draw?" I'll have to try it for him. I might be able to draw well enough to get the idea across. I asked if they had tooth floss in Tevinter. When he responded in the affirmative, I told him the colloquial term for the garment in question was "butt floss". His eyebrows shot into his hairline, practically. "That sounds… absolutely fascinating."

"I'll ask Leorah if she could make you a pair if you like."

"I'll have to think about that."

Had dinner in the tavern, after telling Ethelathe I wasn't going to be down in the dining hall for dinner. It was interesting to order from a menu. Cabot was not very friendly until he noticed the ring on my hand. Then he started yes ma'aming me to death. Bull about busted a gut. They're doing good, like the quarters. Bull kicked the cleaning crew out of his room. He likes it the way it is, apparently. I just told him to let me know if he changes his mind.

Varric and Hawke were there, too. Get those two drunk and they say the damndest things. I do know that Varric called me the most close-mouthed drunk he'd ever met. Hawke called me a lard-ass and got hit, by me and Varric. Then claimed it was a compliment, and if he hadn't been attached, he'd have gone there. I'm not entirely sure about the rest of the evening, because apparently Dorian fetched me to pour me into bed about midnight. I do remember laying on the floor looking at the ceiling, wondering if we could get a Sistine Chapel painting up there. Luckily I didn't say it aloud.

By the time Dorian got me dressed for bed and up to his room, I was sober enough to write. So I am. Writing, not sober. Just tipsy.


	18. Day 15, 19 Cloudreach, 9:41

Skyhold, Day 15, 19 Cloudreach, 9:41

"Are you sleeping with Dorian?"

"There are several answers to that extremely intrusive question."

"You are going to provide me one," He demanded. He was closer than I expected, and grabbed my shoulders, shaking lightly. That made me mad.

I knocked his hands off me. "Why should I? What business is it of yours?"

"He is a human!"

"And? He's also the only person in all of Thedas who figured out what *I* want and need and has done his best to provide, instead of demanding and needing and expecting at me. He's the person who expects nothing from me. Every little thing I do for him he appreciates, because he doesn't assume I'm going to do it. Even you, not even a friend, poke and prod and pry at me for your own purposes. You're not even part of Ethelathe. Why would I answer your prurient demands?" I was not screaming like a fishwife. Barely.

"You will answer, though. Or he will. I have no issue asking the spoiled prince these questions." And he was practically growling. Lovely. Not.

"Once again, you prove you are but a foolish Hah'ren. You look, but you never see. First Andrew, now Dorian. What's your major malfunction, anyway? This is my private life, and we've already established that personal questions are off the table. Unless you want me to start prying into your past, your relationships, your motivations."

"At every turn you mislead and evade me." He started circling me, prowling steps, eyes on me, unblinking. I had to keep turning to keep facing him.

"Then either give up and go home, or change tactics. Try this little tidbit on for size. Dorian could ask me any question, about any of my so-called secrets, and I'd tell him. Because I trust him, the dashing refugee Altus from Tevinter, with my thoughts, waking and sleeping. And I've known him less than a month. He knows about my magic, he knows several things about my home, and he accepts me. I'm precious to him, just for being myself. He's EARNED that information, but has never even pried at me once. You? You can go suck eggs. You think he comes off as a spoiled prince? Look in a mirror." I may have snarled a bit on that last one.

"You are the most infuriating woman I have ever met." He was speaking through gritted teeth.

"Then why in the hell do you keep bothering me?"

"One day you will tell me everything, one way or the other, Da'asha."

"I wouldn't make book on that, Solas." I was still keeping my front to him. I was in no mood to let him at my back.

He paused in his circling; tilted his head. "You feel completely comfortable angering me. You have no fear of me." It was like his anger turned off.

"I'm terrified. But I'm not going to back down."

"You deliberately baited me. Again." His eyes were not quite glowy again. THAT was scary as shit. He took a step closer to me, and I took a step back. "Wary, but not afraid. Not even when you thought I was going to kill you were you afraid."

"I still think you're going to kill me, eventually."

He moved fast, wrapping his arm around my waist and pulling me firmly to him. I felt his face dip to brush my hair. A moment later, before I could even struggle, he released me. "You smell like him, his sweat on your skin. But nothing more." He ran his fingers down my forehead, quickly but gently. I didn't duck fast enough. "Pleasant dreams, Da'asha, for the remainder of the night." Then he turned and walked away.

I did have pleasant dreams. I couldn't wake myself up, but that could have been the alcohol. It's done it to me before. I just don't know. He's a scary son of a bitch.

I awoke late. Very late. Late enough that Dorian had gotten up. He said I'd just looked so peaceful he couldn't bear to disturb me. And he had breakfast for me. I thought I'd cancelled the two breakfasts, but he said two had arrived this morning, delivered by a young lady who asked if I was alright. "You are no good for my reputation, Dove. Apparently the virginal nightgown was a disappointing sight."

"Dorian, for all you know, I am as virginal as my nightgown." I didn't have a hangover, but I never really did. I was pleasantly lethargic, though, so I stayed right there in bed while I nibbled from my tray. And sipped my cup of coffee. "Did you order this? Or did Cook just put something on a tray?"

"I ordered it, of course. Can't take chances like that. What if I were to get gruel?"

"You are a prince among men. Too bad you're the only prince around." That may have come out a bit bitter.

"We'll just have to find you a beau, then, shan't we. I heard from Varric that you've been seen with a strapping elf scout."

"Zathras. He seems nice. He was Davhalla's brother. Why this sudden interest in my love life?"

He looked taken aback for a moment. "You know, I have no idea. Odd, isn't it. I had no intention of prying."

"Dorian, Love, I don't mind. I was just surprised. It seems abrupt."

"Perhaps it's the smell of Spring in the air. Young lovers trysting in dark corners."

"I did introduce you to Uncle Harritt, did I not?"

"A nice fellow, certainly. But he barely speaks! How can I get to know someone so reticent?"

"There's always The Iron Bull."

"He's sweaty. I don't think he ever bathes."

"You could take him down to the baths. Then you could not only handle the sweaty parts but get a good look at the whole PACKAGE, as it were."

"You are a very naughty woman. I shall do no such thing. If this Zathras isn't a good fit, you could always take a look at the Herald."

"Bien sûr que non! He's a bouncy puppy. He's also way too young."

"That explains his goodbye in the courtyard, then. He's smitten, you're not. And you prefer your men to be older."

"He's smitten with Josephine, but doesn't know it. He thinks her thigh is a good pillow. And despite appearances, Dorian, I've seen nearly half an age."

"I did not need to know that, and I shall never repeat it. Women would kill for your beauty regimen. Men, too. Have you considered Cullen?"

"I'm not really considering anyone, Altus. While I understand the need some have to affirm life after a disaster, I don't share it. Not right now." I touched my hair. "I told someone recently, as I'll tell you. I lost people dear to me, and I have difficulty understanding how people in Thedas can keep pretending it didn't happen, or expecting me to get over it so very quickly. Perhaps they just want me to hide it, but I will not do so. There are holes in my being where people used to reside, and until those wounds at least scab over, I will not be looking to punch more."

"My Dove, I didn't mean to hurt you." He sat on the bed and put his hand on my shoulder. "You just seem so playful, flitting from place to place like a butterfly, your touch upon everything. It's sometimes hard to remember the depths of your grief."

"My putting my nose in everything is a coping thing, love. It's what I do to distract myself. I'd better get up. It's late."

"I meant to ask. This glowy stuff you speak of. Are there places where there is more or less?"

"Yep. Oddly enough, it's plentiful here, but usually there's more away from people, and less, much less, where human feet tread. It's like you believe hard enough it's not there, that you make it not be there. Except for you mages. You are brighter spots in the web, and the dust swirls around you. It's hard to explain."

"You're a mage, too, Chrysopal. I've seen what you can do, and with no staff, either. Speaking of staves, have you ever used one?"

"Not for magic. Took some classes a long time ago in quarterstaff combat, but I don't really remember anything." I got up and headed out.

The air felt strange when I got to my room, so I opened my SELF and entered cautiously. I didn't see or feel anything different. It still felt welcoming. Leorah'd put my clothing for the day on the bed. The blue dress again. She really likes that on me. Should surprise Zathras, if nothing else. Maybe he won't make me exercise in a dress. I put on leggings underneath, just in case.

I went out to my desk and did my morning paperwork. I really do have a comfy chair. Cook had sent down a revised menu, there were a few job assignment changes. One set of workmen wants to be soldiers. I forwarded that one to Josie. She'll have the right words.

I went up and checked on everything. The causeway should be done today, just in time for Inquisibutt to get home, if I'm not off in my estimations. Blackwall's rooms are done. Basic furnishings, but he didn't leave any preferences. All Vivienne's furnishings are in place. Sera's stuff is still in progress, but only because Eustace is waiting on some things. It's looking good, and she'll likely not miss them until they come in. Cole's room looks like something appropriate for a boy. A few stuffed animals on a bed with a blue puffy quilt. It's small, but I'm not even sure he sleeps.

I hope Cass likes what I did for her room. Instead of curtains, the workman put walls up on the top floor, in the back corner. Her bedroom is a romantic fantasy. Gauzy hangings and pink pillows, and beautiful dried flower bouquets. Leorah came through a dream. If she doesn't like it, I have a different room done up in more utilitarian style on the bottom floor, next to the uncles. I'll give her that one, claiming this one a joke. Lastly, I climbed the stairs to Inquisibabe's room. Everything looks good here, too. Found out what those little back rooms are for. One's up to the loft, which has chests and such. Just like in game, but neater and more chests. The other one's a bathroom. Looks like there's a cistern above, so we won't have to haul water unless it's not rained in a while.

Zathras caught up with me as I came out of the tower room. He raised an eyebrow at me being in a dress. "If you think that will get you out of practice, you'd be wrong."

I lifted my skirt to the knees. "That's why I wore leggings underneath."

"Let's go." We went out of the keep, as per usual. The exercises were easy today. When we headed back in, he told me that he'd be gone a few days and that I was to keep up the exercises. Then we had lunch. "When I get back, I'd like to have dinner at the tavern. Just as friends, of course. You're nice to talk to." I agreed. I'd have to tell Dorian.

For the afternoon, I decided to scrub the OTHER library. The one that isn't there. Only took me a few hours, because swirly dust is super helpful at pushing out icky dust. I let Garalen know where I'd be, of course. There's always someone hanging by. I'll have to mop the floors another day, but at least all the thick grime and cobwebs are gone. I'm not comfortable enough with magic to try and do anything with water around books. I see that going very badly.

It was my turn to pick up the kids. I let the boys run off, but I pulled Laura aside. I took the other way up to the main library, the one that doesn't traipse through Solas' space. I stopped at the table at the top of the stairs, rapping on it lightly. Laura stared in awe at the birds in their cages. Is it bad of me that I really wanted to see one slice on Egghead's desk? Anyway, Leliana herself walked up. "Can I do something for you?"

"I wanted to introduce you to Laura. She's an interesting little tidbit who doesn't like going to school with the mage kids. She's also not real interested in soldiering. I thought of you and yours. I don't know if that was a good idea, and it's not related to anything we've already talked about."

I said that last bit because she was looking at me in THAT WAY, practically screaming "was this foretold?"

She looked at Laura. "You're the one who got The Iron Bull to wear her token."

"It made him pretty."

"Interesting. Have you ever met a crow?"

"Antivan?" Leliana shot me a look when Laura said that.

"I was speaking of the bird, but do let's talk of Antiva, as well."

I was obviously dismissed, so I headed back down the stairs. There was basically no one in the main hall, as it was dinner time. The tables weren't in here yet. Just Varric, over in his corner. So I grabbed my skirts, stepped up on Viv's balcony, and hopped down near the throne. TOO COOL. Anyway, Varric didn't even notice. Much better than the stairs. I popped into Josie and told her that I'd introduced Laura to Leliana. She agreed that was a good idea. Then I went down to dinner.

Normal stuff. Dinner, singalong. I tried laying in my bed again, but I still wasn't ready. I was getting ready to get up when there was a knock on my door. I opened it. Dorian was there. "Chrissy, I just happened to notice you are trying to avoid me in the evening. Three nights, now. Is there a reason?"

I sighed. "Love, you have mentioned several times that you are interested in finding real companionship. I'm concerned I'm keeping you from inviting someone to view your etchings. I'm trying to wean myself off of needing a sleeping companion, I suppose."

"That's quite thoughtful of you, but entirely unnecessary. You are a real companion, Chrysopal. I will let you know if I need private time or similar. Until then, Dove, I request that my heater show up. I worry, you know. It's not like you've had assassination attempts or disrupt the natural order of things or anything, is it? Unless you'd like to stay down here? I noticed your appointments last night when we were getting you dressed. Very nice. Your people know what colors suit you."

"I've not actually slept on the bed, but it is comfortable to lay on. Want to try it?"

"For you, anything." So we did.

* * *

 ** _Edited to add: I'm going to point out something. There is NO ROMANCE in this chapter. None. Zip. Zilch. Nada. No romantic feelings on any part at this point. There is a feral asshat. There's some respectful discussion of potential romance in the future. There is no romance in this chapter. What happens is scary, and is not okay. Somebody loses his shit because his puzzle isn't figured out yet, and said puzzle is behaving in a way he thinks is disgusting and horrifically anti-elf._**


	19. Day 16, 20 Cloudreach, 9:41

Skyhold, Day 16, 20 Cloudreach, 9:41

The fade is different here. I wasn't planning on hanging around to be assaulted by an angry elven god again, so I went wandering. Forward and back through time, around in space. Things are clearer here, less muddled, even when nothing makes sense. The images, the feelings, I mean. They're still supremely conflicting and confusing. They're also beautiful. Spirits and shades, colors and light. All of them drift through the fade. I hid among them the whole night, actually conversing with one or two. One thing Solas is correct about: these are sentient beings, not "constructs of the fade". Much like Cole, but not quite as defined. It was a pleasant way to spend an evening.

I slept later than usual, mainly because there was no light. Dorian apparently likes my bed, since he's sprawled across about ninety percent of it. I got up, went to use the commode, and spotted the bath. There was something different about it. Instead of holes in the wall just above the tub, there were silver spigots. Just to check, I turned them. Running water. I'm still not sure what to think of it, and I've had all day to ponder.

I dressed and went up to eat in the dining room with Varric and Hawke. Hawke'll be leaving in the morning. The last of his supplies are due in today. He's a sarcastic fellow, but he can be grating. Not everything should be a joke. I'll never tell Varric that, though. Morning and evening meals are my main chance to catch up with my friends. We never seem to have as much time together as we used to.

I snagged Dorian's breakfast, but told Cook I wasn't heading up Varric's way. She'll have someone else handle it. Returning to my room, Dorian was still sprawled, but now he's on the whole bed. I left the tray in the sitting room area, and woke him up. After he ate, we parted ways at my door. I had things to do, and so did he.

More noble guests were arriving, but we should be ready. Livestock due in today. Goats and two cows. No bulls. Looks like it's dairy, not meat, that was wanted. A beehive. Apparently the farmers had theirs shipped up and it's due today as well. Scheduling, planning. A full morning's work, actually. And a mediation of an argument. Haven't had to do one of those in a while. Eadras brought them to my attention just before lunch. It was an Ethelathe matter, not a household matter. They couldn't get along, and were working in the same space. I looked at each of them, and told them that if they couldn't be civil, I'd have them chained together for a 3-day period. They would either kill each other or come out friends. Both assured me they would be civil. I noted the day down, and we'll see.

After lunch, I did the rounds, checking on people and things, and verifying the supplies had been gotten in. I'll be getting full tallies after Eustace sorts out what's his and what's mine. Another thing that's nice is that there are more keys now. I still have to lock and unlock bedroom doors for cleaning and so on, but the Bailey, the prison, the towers, and so on all have occupants, and those occupants have keys where necessary. Some areas are just perpetually unlocked.

Back at my desk, I received a note from Solas. I ripped it into four pieces and handed it back to the messenger. "I don't want to see or hear from him for at least three days. Hold on. Let me write him."

I wrote out, "I do not want to see, hear, or speak to you for at least three days. And nights. Absolutely no contact in any fashion. Your behavior has been reprehensible. After three days, I will be willing to entertain the idea that you just might think I'm an actual person. Until then, I will accept no contact without irrevocably and permanently severing any connection between us. This is your only warning, and your chance to prove you are not just a malicious beast." I sealed it with wax (but not the inquisition's seal), a little harder than I really needed to, and handed it to the messenger.

"Thank you," I said. I noticed the boy looked a bit peaked. "Are you okay?"

"Yes, ma'am."

"What's wrong?"

He swallowed. "You going to get mad at me, mistress?"

"I don't see why I would."

"You, well, you're a mite scary, my lady. I know you're a elf and all, but most elfys don't glow when they're angry, mistress. I'd heard stories about wild elves glowing, but I ain't never seen it."

I looked at my hands. In this light, they did seem to be glowing, just slightly. "After you deliver that note to Solas, please go up and get Dorian. Ask him to come down to my room, as soon as he can conveniently do so. And I would appreciate you not mentioning this to anyone."

"Of course not, my lady. I'll keep your secret. You can count on me." And off he went.

I went to my room and shut the door. The candles weren't lit, and it was obvious that I was, indeed, glowing. Just a bit. More than a bit. Out in the main room, it could have been a trick, or just the way the candlelight played on my skin, but here. Here it was plain. It was a slightly blueish white. I could see my hands shaking.

It couldn't have been a whole minute before I heard knocking on the door. "Chrissy?" It was Dorian.

"Dorian!" I called in a voice that sounded shrill to my ears. "Help me?"

He opened the door, saw me, and shut it quickly. "What happened, Dove?"

"I don't know. I was angry, and I wrote a note, and I scared a messenger boy, and now I'm scared, and I'm GLOWING, Dorian. Why am I glowing? People are not supposed to glow."

He wrapped his arms around me, lifting me to the bed. "Let's take a look." He brushed my hair back. "I think I see. Pent up emotion? You're blocking your channels. The magic is building up in your system. Doesn't it hurt?"

"No. It doesn't hurt. I don't feel it at all."

"You have two options that I can see, darling. You can do something big and showy, or you can do something small and lengthy. We've got to get your channels cleared. And you WILL tell me what you are so upset about that you damaged yourself."

"Not everyone thinks it's a good idea for a Tevinter Altus and an Elven Chatelaine to be sharing a bed. In fact, some people are downright incensed. Or were. Or something." Even as I was saying it, the glow got brighter.

"Calm down, Dove. Think of this like a clogged nose when you have the sniffles."

"You're saying I have a magical cold?"

"It's not a precise analogy, but yes. This happens to children. I've never seen this make someone glow before. I've never seen it happen in a practicing adult. Usually if it gets this bad, the child is screaming in pain, but he doesn't GLOW."

"Dorian, did I tell you I've been a mage for exactly 80 days?" The glow was bright enough to see his eyebrows twitch. He was obviously doing his best to keep a straight face, not wanting to show his shock and worry.

"You said you'd been doing magic for two months. I remember now. Somehow I still thought you experienced. But that's irrelevant at this point, my Dove. We need to clear your channels. Normally I'd have you throwing fireballs until the magic was depleted enough to unclog, but I can't take you outside in this condition. Your room, though decently sized, is not large enough for such work."

"You said small and lengthy. Could I do that here? Or could I do something big and invisible?" I was calmer, despite the glow. He knew what this was, at least. "Let me look at what you see." I opened my SELF, and noticed his form near me. He obviously had his SELF open as well. I looked down at my body, and saw what he meant. The glowy dust was coming in and swirling around, but it wasn't leaving my aura. I could see that there were chokepoints, but not exactly where. "If I deplete the magic, the blockages will become more visible, and I can therefore work the knot?"

"I'll have to work the knot. While you're depleting. Think of something you can do. You don't do spellwork the way I do." There was a knock on the door. "I'll get that. Stay here."

He opened the door a crack to find Eadras. "She's scared. I want to see her, mage."

I thought I'd shielded myself better. At least it was only him. Dorian looked at me, and I nodded. "Just him. No one else."

He let Eadras slip in, and the hah'ren stopped just past him. He sucked in a breath in awe. "My lady." He dropped to one knee. Oh, God, not him too. The glow got brighter.

Dorian grabbed his arm and brought him back up. "That's the last thing she needs right now, old chap."

Eadras allowed Dorian to bring him closer. "It's like the stories. You're coming into your power. We knew you were special, Da'len. We knew you were ours."

"That doesn't help, Eadras. I'm sorry, but I'm going to have to ask you to be silent and sit on the settee over there, or leave. We have to help her, not stare at her." Eadras went to sit where he was directed. "Now, Chrysopal, if I remember, you called cold fire. Veilfire?"

"Not exactly. Similar, but not the same. I think. It started as the memory of fire, then I twisted it for my purposes."

"Could you do something like that? Try that, Dove. Color and light, out of your SELF and into the world."

Finally, something I could grasp. For some reason Tinkerbell went through my head. The trails of light and dust she leaves behind her as she flies, in fact. I looked at my fingers and willed the excess magic to DRIP off of them, like I was fingerpainting the air. I heard a gasp behind me, and lost my concentration. The magic faded.

"No distractions, Elder, or you will have to leave," Dorian hissed. "This is too important. Go on, Chrysopal."

I went back to what I was doing, eventually getting the hang of this painting the air thing. Swirls of color, swathes of light, hanging in space. It was pretty. I thought it kind of looked like something I'd seen in a fractal on the old itunes viewer thing, and the thought became reality. The points swirled out on their own, drawing back in, and rotating about. Splitting, combining, changing color. I could FEEL the awe from Dorian and Eadras both. I hadn't felt either of them earlier. I pushed more of the light into the room, and it started to fade from my skin.

Dorian stepped up to me and brushed my magic with his. He soothed something tangled within me, moving from place to place. It was like having your hair brushed, after a fashion. "Chrysopal, do you see what I am doing? Sort of ordering the flow of magic?"

I LOOKED. "You've created tubes for the dust to go through. Not many, but enough to keep at least some pieces moving." I turned my GAZE to him. "You have the same sorts of tubes, but far more. You have all your glowy dust confined in your aura. Nothing's getting in, and nothing's leaving. Isn't that uncomfortable?"

"I… You have got to warn me when you say such things. That is not… I don't see it the way you do, obviously."

"It looks like you suck in through a fairly large straw, here, at what I can only guess is a chakra point." I touched his forehead. He shivered. "I'm sorry. I'll be quiet. How do I unclog in the future, now that I'll get backed up more slowly?"

"It's like massaging a cramped muscle. Dearest, could you… turn off the light show now? I don't even want to think about how much studying I'd have to do to come close to that kind of show."

I did. The room was plunged into darkness. "Wait, gentlemen. I want to try something." I deliberately slowed the flow of dust out of my body. It felt like tensing my muscles. Maybe I had tensed so hard that I'd gotten a cramp, so to speak. It was an excellent analogy. Better than the sniffles, that's for sure. Within a minute, I started a slight glow again. I released the magic into my candles, and my glow faded as the room brightened.

Dorian looked at me. "I need a drink. Something strong. You're buying." I stumbled a little as I stood. "Be careful, my dove." He put his arm around me.

Eadras was still staring. "Hah'ren, have I grown horns?"

"No, my lady."

"Please don't, my friend. Don't do that to me. I'm just Chrissy, exactly as I was the first day you met me."

"The first day you met me, you smiled at me and told a stranger that of course I was welcome. We were all welcome. That you'd do everything in your power to make sure we were all taken care of. We had a home, now. I knew then, Ethelathun. A day later, you'd learned to create elfroot poultices. You held my hands that night and smoothed your creation over them, and the pain went away. You'd learned a new skill because I needed. I've not spent a day in pain since I met you, and I will be yours if I so choose, whether you allow me to call you my lady or not. You are my home and my sanctuary." Well, what do you say to that? I hugged him, and tried not to leak. I wasn't even chopping onions.

We opened the door, and there were fifty people sitting in the main room. Whoah. Eadras looked at me. "You were scared. We are here." I was subjected to a whole bunch of hugs. People assured themselves that I was okay and went back to their business. They didn't even ask for explanations or anything. I was better, so everything was okay now. That, in some ways, is exceptionally creepy. Sweet, don't get me wrong, but creepy.

Andrew walked up with the Uncles. Andrew looked at me and said, "You are not to do whatever it is you did again."

"I apparently tensed up and clogged the flow of that stuff."

"You haven't been doing your breathing exercises, have you. You have to do that stuff every day, sometimes twice a day. Otherwise weird stuff happens." Now he tells me. Dorian looked stunned.

"A Templar… and you…" He looked at me. "Chrissy, I need that drink."

The uncles passed me around for hugs, and then escorted us to the tavern. If I wanted to get drinks with Dorian, then they were going to arrange it. Regrettably, we forgot to feed us, too. Bar snacks do not a meal make. Dorian was on his fifth or sixth WHISKEY, my lovely wine drinker was, when Bull walked up. "What'd you do to him?"

"I didn't. He learned something that shook him up. He'll be okay."

"I'll be fine. Just need a bottle of this stuff next to wherever you are, dear girl."

Dorian tried to stand. It didn't work out so well. Bull caught him. "Whoah, there. Hey, Chrissy, where do you want me to pour him?"

"I suppose my room. That'd be easiest." I kissed the uncles and led Bull into the main hall.

"I've never been down here," he said as we descended the stairs. "I always come in through the kitchens."

"There's a lot down here. This place is bigger down here than up there." I opened my door. "In here."

He half carted, half dragged Dorian to the bed. "There you go. He's kind of brawny for a mage. You two an item?"

"You're not winning the bet. He and I are not an item. Never will be, either."

Bull eyed him. "Interesting. Need help getting him undressed?"

"Sure. But only to his breeches. You're not getting a show today."

"What makes you think I prefer guys?"

"I think you're open minded enough to disregard what the meat suit looks like to play with the person in it." We worked while we talked.

"That's… blunt."

"Sorry."

"Why? I like blunt. And I'm gonna use meat suit. I'm not killing people! I'm FREEing them. From their meat suits!" I shook my head. "I'll see you, Chrissy. Lock the door, huh? It's been too long since the last attempt on your life."

It's been a very stressful day. I'm turning in.


	20. Day 17, 21 Cloudreach, 9:41

Skyhold, Day 17, 21 Cloudreach, 9:41

I awoke in the middle of the night, or more probably early morning, to Dorian shaking in his sleep next to me. I shook him to wake him, and he opened his eyes. A small ball of light appeared above us, and he looked around with a shuddering breath. "You okay, Dorian?"

"Fine, fine." He took a ragged breath. "Sometimes one doesn't guard as well as other times. I thank you."

"For what?"

"Waking me." He laid back down and threw an arm over his face. I just watched him for a few minutes. He'd tell me if he wanted. "Thank you for not prying," he said.

"I can feel that you are unsettled, but not scared. I wouldn't want to be interrogated feeling like that."

"I seem to recall someone large carrying me to bed."

"Yep. Half-dragged you, more like. Be grateful. I didn't let him strip you completely."

"Thank the Maker for that. I prefer to be awake when ogled."

"There was no ogling. He was fairly matter of fact about it."

"No ogling? None at all?" He leaned up on his elbows to look at me. His face was comical in its disappointment. "I'm an excellent specimen for ogling, and he didn't even look?"

"He did comment that you seemed brawnier than the average mage, if that helps. And he did want to strip more off of you."

"That's better, then."

"You better, Dorian?"

"Yes. I don't think I shall sleep, though. And I stink of alcohol. Terribly common."

"Hey, I happen to be common, I'll have you know."

"There is nothing common about you, Dove."

"I have a bathing room, if you wish to make use of it, or we could go down to the baths."

"I'll take you up on the private bath another time. I feel the walk will be helpful."

"Go grab some clothes and I'll meet you there."

He shrugged into his clothing and left, taking his glowy orb with him. I grabbed a fresh outfit and smalls. It seemed the room was darker for him than me, but considering there were no windows, I shouldn't have been able to see so well. Probably elven physiology. I think I remember something about better eyesight, actually, so the one candle in the sitting area puts out enough light for me to see adequately. I put it out as I left, locking the door, as Bull's reminder echoed in my head.

The bathhouse was empty, which is always better than packed. I beat Dorian there. I settled into the bathing pools. He arrived shortly after, availing himself of the soap before sinking into a neighboring pool. "During the day, you can barely stretch your legs sometimes in these pools for fear of hitting another person. It's much more pleasant at night. I may have to have nightmares more often. What do you think?"

"I think that something I said, did, or was yesterday scared you."

"I admit, I wasn't quite prepared for your condition or the solution, but I am far more worried than scared. I've never seen magic like yours, and I've seen many mages do magic. You don't channel magic at all. The channels I created were the first in your being, and they were breaking down like tissue before I'd finished my third drink. This breathing thing you do. That is what you were doing when I carried you on horseback after the breach?"

"Yeah. Sort of. I basically exchange old dust for new dust. Like it gets stale when pent up. Letting it flow freely feels better."

"I've done some thinking about the way you describe magic. In the places I find it easier to get to the magic through the veil, like here, or a battlefield, or the like, you don't seem to experience a veil at all, just more magic swirling about."

"Andrew and I think that perhaps we straddle the veil somehow."

"Ah yes, your dashing Templar companion. I meant to ask you about him."

"If he'd been discovered by a mage instead of a Templar, he'd be a mage right now, because that's how he'd have been trained. He sees the world the way I do, but he has had a decade with which to learn."

"But he learned tricks that work opposite from your instincts."

"Precisely."

"May I ask a question of you, darling? It's very personal."

"Of course. I reserve the right to refuse to answer, though."

"Where are you from? How did you get here?"

"You sure you want to know? Do you have a drink handy?"

"I grabbed a bottle of Tevinter's finest, yes."

"From what we can tell, when the veil tears, like at Ostwick or the breach, possibly when an archdemon awakes or is killed, the entirety of existence feels it. And sometimes changes are made. Someone may well wake up in a world they weren't born to."

"You're saying there is more than one world."

"I am."

He took a swig of his drink. "And these worlds are connected via the fade."

"I don't know."

"So you woke up in Thedas the day of the Breach?"

"Yes."

"This explains a lot. Your lack of basic knowledge of Thedas, your bizarre habits, your odd beliefs. You had visions of this place, somehow? You know at least something of what's happening and what's going on."

"I did. Apparently the worlds are connected in strange ways. Visions is a good way to describe it, but not exact. I saw visions of the doings of the Hero of Ferelden, but my visions had so many options. There were times he was a dwarf or she was a human, or even a dalish elf. The beginning of the story was quite divergent. The end as well. I don't know how the story actually went, just the different pathways it could have taken. Same with Hawke and his adventures. His personality, his doings, even his gender were mutable to my eyes, and many different outcomes, with some key points remaining constant, existed. I've heard some of the actual way it happened from Hawke and Varric, but it all fits. And now, Sam, is the same way. The world hinges on these three, their choices, their existence. I don't know what will happen, but I know what the possibilities are, and the constants in every timeline."

"One constant being the sacking of Haven?"

"Yes. I didn't know exactly when, but I knew it would be not long after closing the breach."

"You forsaw the mages helping to close it?"

"It could have been the Templars. Then we'd be looking at being overrun by Venatori instead of Red Templars."

"I shudder to think. I notice you do not discuss the future."

"Would you?"

He sighed. "Probably not. I'm not even sure I believe all this."

"That's okay. I halfway think I'm crazy myself. I offer this. Ask Sam about an Avvar man named Amund, a Sky Watcher, when he gets back. The man would have spoken of rips in the skin of the Lady of the Skies. If Sam's closing all the rifts, he'll come across this man in the Fallow Mire. Potentially, the man will come to Skyhold. I have a room ready for him, at the top of a tower."

"For this to be true, you'd have to know what's going on in the Fallow Mire, and who's there, and what they're doing."

"Not know. I don't know. It's a possibility, depending on what Sam chooses. The man is there, but beyond that, if Sam's not closing every rift, if he kills instead of talks to this man, if he fails to extend the offer to him, if he merely goes straight through and doesn't explore the environment, things could be different. It all hinges upon Sam, and only Sam. And the results will show me, and all of Thedas, what kind of man, what kind of Inquisition, this is."

After that, we didn't talk much. After we'd appropriately pruned ourselves, we dressed and prepared for the day. I guess I'd given him a lot to think about. Before we parted ways, he stopped me. "You are a treasure, my Dove. Do not take my thoughtfulness as censure." That made me feel much better as he headed to the library.

I went down to breakfast early. Cook kindly let me play a bit in her kitchen. I had an omelet, with sausage, chopped onions and peppers, fried potatoes, and grated cheese all folded in. Yum. I wasn't ready to talk to people, so I went down to my desk early. Mindful of what Dorian and Andrew had said, I LOOKED at myself. The tubes that Dorian had created were gone. Completely. I saw no trace of them. I took advantage of my solitude to do my exercises and breathe, the way I used to do. It wasn't as heady, but it felt wonderful.

Paperwork multiplies if left alone, but I'd been diligent recently. There was nearly nothing to do. I didn't even have plans to see any particular locations, as everything was basically ready for people to get back. I was almost down to just day-to-day running. Everything else was on track or complete. The shoring up of the walls and the brickwork and such were just going to take a while.

I double-checked on my people from my chair. I carefully didn't strum the threads leading to people who might sense it. It's early enough about half of them are still asleep, content. Everyone else is doing alright. For the first time in a long time, I really had nothing to do. So I decided to spend the day with the Uncles.

Enborr and Gruff were already working by the time I got to the armory. I sat up on a table and they introduced me to all their new assistants and apprentices. A couple elves, actually. Real work instead of shit work. One of them thanked me for making it possible. I tried to deflect on the Inquisition itself, but the young man looked at me and stated quite bluntly that he was here because he had heard of what I did. He'd come all the way from Killarney so he could be more than a ditch digger. The Inquisition, he said, was for everybody, and so far, they lived up to their words.

Enborr strode up. "Back to work, kid. Now is not the time to be flirting with my niece."

The elf swallowed, looking from the very large burly dwarf to me. "Niece?"

"Niece. As she says, don't judge someone by the meat suit they wear."

"Yes, sir. No, sir. Sorry, sir. DIdn't know she was a relative of yours." He stammered a bit more as he ran off to get to work.

Enborr looked at me. "Don't let him bother you. They're coming in by twos and threes, but they're competent, and here to work, not gawk. They just want a life. Don't let him steal your happy, Tidbit." He chucked me gently on the shoulder and went back to work.

After a while, I bid adieu and wandered off again. I was up on the wall when I heard a clatter behind me. When I turned, I saw human silent guy and a pair of booted feet. The booted feet disappeared through the gap in the crenellations. There was a male yell, and a thud. Human silent guy just said, "Sorry about that, ma'am." I didn't want to know. And I didn't look over to see. Several soldiers came running up, but he waved them off. "I have to report. Would you please come with me, ma'am?"

Turns out human dude works for Cullen. Cullen set him to take shifts with the others watching me, since they'd had some issues. Apparently I am nowhere close to invisible anymore. My name might not be being bandied about, but that doesn't change anything. Exaggerated and misattributed rumors of "my" deeds are apparently spreading in at least Ferelden. I specifically asked Cullen how all these people were hearing about me, and he just said "soldiers talk, you know, and they get shifted around a lot." Joy. Then he added "and Leliana might have let her agents slip the information to a few susceptible ears, as well." Fantabulous. I'm a recruiting tool.

By afternoon I was bored and broody. Then the Chargers arrived. They didn't look happy. Bull was on hand to greet them, and I stayed in the background. Krem handed some papers to Bull as they were directed into the tavern. I snagged a messenger and told them to clear everyone out of the baths. The Chargers were coming. I then ran up and told Bull that I was having them cleared. "They look exhausted, and would probably appreciate it."

Bull looked at me, then handed me the pages in his hand. "These aren't a good way of repaying you for that." I looked down and saw a face I recognized. The world blurred for a moment before I got myself under control. I hugged the pages to my chest and nodded my thanks. Now to get names. I had a trek to make.

Pages in hand, I knocked on Josie's door. When invited to enter, I told her that I had to make a trip. Two days, max. "Whatever for, Chrissy?"

"I have to go back to my fire. I will go back to my fire, if I have to walk, Josie."

"I'm certain that will not be necessary. We can designate people to go with you. When will you wish to leave?"

"Soon. Probably tomorrow morning."

"I see. I will make sure things are ready for you. Leave a list with me of anything that would need your attention during that time?"

"I will."

I took the long way up to Dorian's library nook. He'd already started piling books. Three were open on his chair, and he was staring out the window. "Pensive, dear Altus?"

"Always. To what do I owe the pleasure?"

"I'm planning a trip. Short. Back toward Haven a ways, to play with fire. I would like to invite you, if you'd like to come along."

"To play with fire?" I just nodded. "Why do I feel it will be more complicated than that?"

"If you don't want to go, I will understand."

"No, no, this should be an adventure."

I went over to the Templar area. We had some few of the non-infected kind. Gunther and Andrew among them, of course. Probably fifteen in total in the castle itself, more down below, and even more in the world. Not everyone was gotten to by the corrupt Templars. Stragglers, those on missions, those that had delayed reaching Therinfall Redoubt for whatever reason, they were still Templars, and some ended up here. I saw Gunther first. He pulled me down next to him on the log. "What's going on, Chrissy? You don't come out to us very often."

"I'm not fond of ice baths."

He laughed. "That's right. I remember that discussion. So why are you here?"

"I'm going to tend my fire. And to ask if you knew any of these faces. I want to put names to them."

He knew a few of the human faces. Andrew wandered over while we were looking through the pile and provided another name. Gunther invited him along to help me tend my fire. Beat me to it, actually, but that's okay. "Of course we're coming," was the response. Garalen as well, I'm assuming. Those two are joined at the hip. A lot, if I'm to guess. A baby around here would be nice. Anyway, that's neither here nor there.

Cook and her girls gave me more names. By the time dinner rolled around, all the faces were accounted for but one, and I got that last one from Cara in the dining hall. At singalong time, I told everybody I'd be taking a small trek, and that I needed them to make sure things ran smoothly in my absence. I'm still looking for a good point to introduce these people to the Sound of Silence, but that time hasn't arrived yet. Blowing in the wind and we shall overcome it is. And some local ditties.

I bothered Varric after singalong time. Invited him to come with. He said maybe. He was working on a book. I suggested he start writing the next in the Sword and Shield series. At least get a basic outline done, you know? He looked at me and said he hadn't intended to work on that one again. I shrugged and said okay. He narrowed his gaze. "You're pretty scary sometimes, Cuddles. You have a reason you mentioned it."

"It's probably nothing. Don't worry about it."

He sighed. "I'm finishing this one first. No one likes Swords and Shields. It wouldn't even pay for itself."

"Like I said, it's nothing. Forget it."

"Like I could do that."

I drifted down to the tavern. The Chargers were drinking heavily. Krem was in his chair. "I wanted to thank you, Krem. The lot of you, actually, but you're the only one I really know."

"You're welcome, Chrissy. Part of the job."

"An unpleasant part. It's been a month. I'm sure you didn't find any survivors."

"Luckily we also didn't find any evidence that there had been any, either. Nobody looked like they'd been around for a while after."

"I'm kind of glad to hear that. Not that they were dead, but that they hadn't lingered."

"Yeah."

"I'll leave you be. I just wanted to thank you." Krem nodded and drained his tankard.

The mood was glum. Maryden was silent. I went up and asked her if she'd mind if I sang something. She told me the boys weren't really in the mood for singing. "This one's a lament," I said. "It's for mourning." I softly slid into "Ailein Duinn." I sang it in Gaelic, as I don't know the translation. I followed it with "An Eala Bhàn". I won't say it was well-received, but it was cathartic to the mood of the room. Sadness and melancholy instead of depression and despair. There's something about the wailing tones of Gaelic laments. They sound like women crying, and it helps.

Turns out Maryden did know those kinds of songs, and she continued where I left off. In English, not in Gaelic. I don't know any English language laments that aren't also extremely religious, and I'm not talking the Maker. I doubt anyone here would understand Amazing Grace or Mary's Lament or Hallelujah. Cultural differences.

Bull caught up with me as I left. He draped an arm over my shoulders and pointed back to the tavern with his thumb. "Thanks for that."

"I didn't do anything Maryden isn't doing."

"Sure. But thanks, all the same. Can I ask you something?"

"I suppose."

"What language was that?"

"Gaelic. And some nonsense syllables."

His brows pulled together. "I don't think I've heard of it."

"Probably not. Goodnight, Ser The Iron Bull." He let me go, and I headed up to Dorian's room, avoiding the atrium.


	21. Day 18, 22 Cloudreach, 9:41

Skyhold, Day 18, 22 Cloudreach, 9:41

Sun in eyes! I forgot how bright Dorian's room is. I warmed the room for him as I left. I took the long way down, and stopped in the kitchen after I got dressed and snagged a change of clothes to go. Cook was setting everything up, and I asked her if she could arrange for someone to take up Dorian's tray. I had to make some last minute arrangements. She handed me a bag, full to the brim with travel fare. I'm going to be gone 2 days, max! We're not going to eat this much, I was sure. But I thanked her. Worst case, I'd have leftovers.

I'd figured that four or five people without animals and wounded would travel far faster than all of us had getting here. We could easily get there in a day. Foolish me had planned to walk. Well, apparently that wasn't the case. Andrew and Gunther, Garalen and Elias, Dorian, and two soldiers came up to my desk as I was filling out last minute paperwork for Josie. "We're ready to go, Chrissy," said Garalen. I said I had to run this up to Josie, and Gara grabbed it and handed it to a messenger wandering by. "Take this to Lady Montilyet, please."

I shrugged, grabbed my packet of paperwork I wanted to take with me, and turned to go up the stairs. Dorian put his arm around me and steered me toward the kitchens. "There's nothing to worry about, Dove. We got you a pleasant, easygoing mare. Consider it Life in Thedas lessons. You must be able to ride." They had horses waiting outside the stables for us.

Garalen stuffed my things in the saddlebags. "We figured you had some idea that we'd be walking. No way, honey."

"I have absolutely no experience with riding horses, and I'm sure a long journey is not the time to learn. I could walk."

"You could. But you won't. It'll take us half a day, or less, on horseback, or all day walking. We're riding." She gave me a quick rundown of how to handle a horse. I'd heard most of it, but I've never put it into practice. It always sounded like way too many things at once. Grip with your knees, hold the reins firmly but not too firmly, sit but don't slouch, sway but don't rock, rein guided or mouth guided, don't pull to hard, make sure you pull hard enough. And getting in the saddle and getting the stirrups the right length and all that. It took me three tries to get on the surprisingly patient mare. At least she was nice. My companions were nice enough to hide their sniggers.

"I'm going to get even with you all. You just wait. I'm going to have blisters on my ass and you will all pay." Gunther got my stirrups set up for me.

Elias came up next to me. "You'll be fine. And it wasn't my idea. I'd like to point that out, in case I get in less trouble." Little shit was laughing at me. "At least it's not a halla or a hart, right?"

"One of those might work better. This thing's like straddling a redwood."

"A what?" Elias was confused, but Andrew guffawed.

"A tree with a large trunk. I feel like I'm doing the splits, and I should know, because I can do the splits."

Gunther chimed in with a smile. "Tell me more about your flexibility, my lady!" And waggled his brows. Must be a Templar thing. Andrew does it too. Ugh.

After a few false starts, we got the mare going in the correct direction instead of circles. It gave Josie a chance to come down and say goodbye. (I'd said goodbye to Daniel, Laura, the Tweedles, and most of Ethelathe in the dining room already. I forgot to mention it.) Josie covered her mouth as she watched me trying to get my mount to go straight. It's so nice to be the center of attention with everyone calling out advice. Not. Dorian had given up and was chortling so hard he was in danger of falling off his far more spirited mount.

"Keep laughing, Altus. I know where you sleep." I was teasing, and he knew it.

I managed to get control of Frisky. Yes, the rocking horse's name was Frisky. We headed out. Garalen was right, riding horseback eats up the miles. I was also right, and my backside was going numb. There was a lot of pleasant banter and friendly talk for the trip, too. The banter did not make up for the backside.

We stopped for lunch, and I got laughed at some more. Apparently I was waddling spraddle-legged, and didn't even realize it. Garalen took pity on me, and reached into her pack. She still had elfroot poultice. "Garalen, do you know how much of this stuff we have left? I dropped this thread. Do I need to make more?"

Dorian interrupted. "There will be no talk of work. This is a serious endeavor that doesn't permit the mundane minutia of work."

"Mundane minutia? Really? And why can't I talk work?"

"Because we don't want you trying to take notes while swaying dangerously in the saddle, and then complaining about your penmanship. That's why."

I rolled my eyes at him. "We're not riding right now."

"We'll talk later," Garalen kindly interjected.

I went behind a boulder and attended my rear. Then we ate, and I clambered inelegantly back onto Frisky. We could see the fire by midafternoon. We stopped a bit away and set up camp. I'd been right about two days. But only because we used horses. It would have taken travelling until dark without, I suppose. Maybe. This way it was a fun jaunt, not a hard slog.

Dorian kept getting distracted by the fire. "Is that thing whispering? Singing? Something?"

"Yep," Andrew agreed cheerfully. "That's why we're here. She," and he pointed his finger at me, "needs to add more names to the list."

"I didn't know it would sing their names, actually. I just gave it memories. I didn't find out it sung names until Zathras told me. Apparently some of the new elves have been coming here before going up to Skyhold. A part of the journey, it's been said. I'm assured it's not a pilgrimage."

"Then they're lying to you. Or themselves," one of the soldiers, Harold, attested. "They want to see that it says elven names and human names the same way. Proof. I've made this trip a couple times. You'll see what I mean when we get closer."

That made me curious, so I spraddled my way up there. The memory of fire doesn't burn actual things, except the memory of wood, I suppose. There were little trinkets tossed into the middle. At least two rings, a stuffed nug, a few wooden carvings, withered flowers. I reached in and plucked out the stuffed nug, giving it a cuddle. They KNEW that it was just the memory of fire, and they still gasped when I did it. It was warm, but not exactly hot.

No time like the present, I suppose. I put the nug back and went back to my saddlebags, pulling out my list. I knew I'd have to do it the way I did before. I wouldn't be able to just slide the names in. I'd have to add my memory of the name being told to me, along with the mental image I had as I looked at the picture. The other option was to find the faces in my memories and add the memory of hearing the name there. I wasn't sure which one would work better.

Dorian was staring at the fire. "Did this include blood magic of some kind?"

"Nope. I don't do blood. The only thing added to the wood was hair and tears. The wood didn't break skin as I gathered it. Not that I would have cared at the time."

"Did you plan the spell?"

"Uh, not exactly? I did what felt right. I know what I did and I can reproduce it."

Elias came up on the other side of Dorian. "Our Chrissy runs on instinct. She does these fabulous bits of magic and then acts like they're nothing because they're not huge fireballs or freezing things to shatter. She can't do anything offensive like that at all. But I'll protect her if she can keep doing these sorts of things. A shattered enemy wouldn't be here two weeks later. Reminds me of the magic in tales. Is there magic like this in the Imperium, Altus Pavus?"

"Most of it is old, I'll admit, but some things like this are created. I've not seen such instinctive skill, though. It could be refined, of course, but her instincts are better than many trained mages practiced efforts."

"I'm standing right here. I'd prefer not to be talked about as if I wasn't present."

"Did you hear something?" Of course Garalen had to chime in. "Perhaps it was the wind." I pushed her.

"Not funny."

"The wind is particularly strong today."

The boys were both twitching their lips, trying not to laugh at us. "Begone, the lot of you. I need to work."

"May I watch?"

"Of course, but don't interfere. Don't stick your SELF in this. I don't know what it would do. And please stay back."

"I would never!"

"I know."

I had to get into the right mindframe, so I opened my SELF and listened to the song of the fire. It was definitely a song. Almost everything is a song if you listen hard enough. As the song slid through me, I could feel the grief I'd felt before. I let it pull me into that mindstate again. Tears coursing my cheeks, because I'd just lost them again, I reached into the flame and pulled the string of memories to me. I looked at each dear face, and whispered each name that was missing. It wasn't what I'd expected to have to do at all, but it was what needed to be done.

The purple flames just sitting on the bare earth felt wrong. I FELT about for some sort of solution. There was silver, but that would be plundered. There was also obsidian. That would do. I needed to make a cradle for the fire. I'm not sure exactly what I did, actually. I wanted the obsidian below me to come up and form a bowl underneath the fire. I wanted it REALLY BAD, so bad that I PUSHED a significant portion of the dust I could find at that goal. And then I TWISTED, and black oozed and steamed up through the permafrost. It formed itself into a shallow pool under the flames. I scoured it with glowy dust as it solidified. Polished stone beneath the purple flames. I knew, just knew, that if what I had wanted had been much larger, I'd not have been able to do it. For the first time, I think I felt a hard limit. Maybe because it was dealing with the earth.

I heard a "Whoah, I got you, Chrissy." I was extremely dizzy, and I'm not sure who said it. "We'll get her tucked into bed. She'll do her breathing tomorrow and she'll be fine." That one was Garalen. Something soft wiped my face. "This isn't normal." Probably Dorian. Any other conversation went over my head. I was so tired. The world spun and spun. "We know you're tired, Ethelathun. Sleep now."

I didn't wake until well after dark. Elias and Dorian are in a tent with me. They're cuddled up together. I'd never realized that Elias might be interested in Dorian. He does his fair share of leering at the ladies. Maybe he's just the kind that won't limit his choices because of dangly bits or lack thereof? I'm going to finish this up, and get some food. I'm starved. I'm still tired, too. I ache, both in body and in spirit. I think I pulled that magic muscle Dorian cringes about. Therefore after I eat, I'm going to snuggle down in my fur and sleep.


	22. Day 19, 23 Cloudreach, 9:41

Skyhold, Day 19, 23 Cloudreach, 9:41

I dreamed of birds. I don't know why I dreamed of birds, but I had a long conversation with some older human gent sitting on a park bench, and we fed the birds all night as we chatted. I don't remember what we chatted about, but I remember the birds.

* * *

I awoke in someone's arms. That in itself wasn't usual, really. However, that person was, shall we say, HAPPY to be near me? I mean Dorian has usual reactions in the morning, but he doesn't rub himself on me in his sleep. I turned my head to find Dorian's arms about Elias, and Elias' arms about me.

"Elias…" I gently sang. I wanted to wake him up so he'd let go, but not scare him into waking Dorian. No effect. Luckily with elves you have an extra edge. I flicked his ear. THAT woke him up.

"What was that for?" He mumbled it into my shoulder. I hadn't flicked the ear hard or anything.

"I like you and all, but our relationship isn't quite at the rubbing genitals stage, Elias." I heard Dorian chuckle behind us both.

"Indeed. Please refrain from rubbing genitals this morning. Unless I'm involved, of course." He was talking to Elias, who turned red. The upside was that Elias let go of me, so I patted his shoulder and got up.

"I'll let you two talk, then." I crawled out of the tent, not because the tent was so small, but because I didn't want either of them to see how unsteady I still was. I do like Elias, but not in that way, and it'd been a decade since I'd been poked with morning wood, much less rubbed with it. It wasn't even a minute before a red faced Elias stumbled out of the tent, followed soon after by Dorian in Debonair Dude mode. It wouldn't be a love match, but they'd have fun for a while.

It was still early, but the sun was cresting the mountains. It caught the obsidian basin, and I realized the trinkets left behind were imbedded in the stone. Even the stuffed nug. Crap. "Dorian?"

"Yes, Dove?"

"Is there some sort of preservation spell or something that you could put on that stuffed nug?"

"Why?"

"It's sort of, embedded, in the basin. Which means when it disintegrates, the basin will have a funky-shaped hole in it. But if it was preserved, then the nug will be there, not a funky-shaped hole."

"You are worried about an imperfection in a solid piece of stone that you just willed into existence?"

"I didn't will it into existence. It was below the surface. I just kind of asked it to come up and take that shape. I think. I'm not entirely sure, actually."

"Not entirely sure? Maker preserve us."

"Memorial fire on bare earth felt wrong."

"I will have to do some research and come back. I can't make up a spell on the fly like that, and the objects will still be here in a week, or even a month. No guarantees. It occurs to me that you are doing all these 'bits of magic', as the handsome elf says, without a staff to help you. We shall have to get you outfitted and trained."

"You're calmer than I expected, Dorian."

"Yes, well, I'm waiting until we get back to Skyhold to turn into a blithering idiot. I have every intention of locking myself in a room and drinking until your magic makes logical sense. I notice you haven't stood up yet. Is there something I should know?"

"Of course not," I said, brightly. "I'm perfectly fine."

"You shouldn't lie to the nice man, Chrissy." Elias squatted down next to me. "How bad is the shakiness?"

"I don't know. I haven't tried my legs yet." I said it at the same time that Dorian exclaimed, "Nice?!"

"No time like the present. We need to give Garalen a few minutes anyway. She's… Busy." I arched a brow. "I'm not interrupting them."

"I didn't ask you to. Won't it be nice to have babies around?"

"That's not likely, Chrissy. We're not very cross-fertile."

"You might be surprised, when we're talking about Andrew." He hoisted me up as I said that. I was rather shaky. "My legs are shaky, my butt hurts, I think I sprained my magic, and we still have to ride back to Skyhold today. I have to be there tomorrow."

"Why?"

"Because I'm betting that's when Cassandra's getting back, and I want to be there when she sees her room."

The normal day commenced. Breakfast, tending the horses, sniggering at Garalen. Apparently Dorian's been more helpful than I realized. Now that there are glances between him and Elias, I'm getting a few glances of my own. Too bad so sad, because after riding the horse for hours, I don't want to ride ANYTHING. Especially if I was going to have to work at it.

Liam, the other soldier, did not wait for me to try to climb in the saddle. He picked me up by the waist and set me in it. He has a nice smile, and I think he's flirting. He's cute, and not a babe in woods. It might have been more effective if planting my nether bits in the saddle hadn't stung like a wicked bitch. When we get back to Skyhold, I'm going to try out my new tub. I can probably think of some way to heat the water.

Anyway, we saddled up and headed home. The conversation was pleasant, but I was still a touch unsteady, so I had to concentrate more on actually steering my beast. At least we only ended up going in circles a couple times. It might have been better if she wasn't so sweet and responsive. A more headstrong mare might have ignored me a little bit and just followed everyone else.

We ate travel rations as we rode, not bothering to stop because this was all downhill. Arrival in Skyhold came sooner than I expected, probably because it was a downhill trek. Gethon was in the stables, and he had pity in his eyes when he came up. "Come on. It's going to be bad regardless, you might as well get it over with." He held Frisky while I dismounted. Badly. And my legs didn't exactly support me. Gethon dropped the reins and grabbed me. "Most people start with a half hour or hour, not two days riding. Possibly you might want lessons, now?"

"Possibly. Right now, I never want to ride anything ever again."

"Can you get to your rooms or do you need help?"

"I can get there." I must not have looked it, because he waved someone over to take Frisky and put an arm around my waist.

The others gathered their stuff, Gethon snagged my bags (giving me THAT LOOK when I opened my mouth to object), and we all walked up to the kitchen door. No sense going way out of our way. Liam and Harold said goodbye and headed off in a different direction. Gunther and Andrew went up the stairs to the main hall, saying goodbye. Dorian saw Gethon and me to my door, and asked if I would be okay. Of course. Duh. So he went up to his room, too.

I would have been fine, but Gethon didn't let go as I unlocked my room. He delivered me to the settee and squatted in front of me, holding my hand. "That was harder than you let on, Ethelathun. You feel sad and stretched and sore."

That startled me. "You can feel me?"

"I've always been good with animals, and we are all animals of one sort or another. Sometimes it's more there than others, but I can almost always feel you a little bit if I try when I'm touching you."

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to inflict myself on you."

"It's fine. Like I said, it's only when I'm touching you unless everybody feels it. May I make a suggestion?"

"Sure."

"Take a long hot bath. Use some of your salve. Take the rest of the day off. And show up for riding lessons in the morning. Early. That way you won't feel like you've been punched in the rear end next time you have to go somewhere."

"I'm planning to stay home from now on."

"You might have reason to leave again. Shouldn't you be prepared for any eventuality? Or is that just us?" Damn it. My expression must have given me away, because he stood, ruffled my hair, and said, "Remember that we are here for you, like you've been here for us." He left me alone.

I tested the silver taps in the bathroom. If one of them was hot water, I was in business. Considering the heat under the undercroft, I thought maybe the geothermal energy of the volcano we were probably on top of may be utilized. I'm not sure if it was magic or geothermal, but one came out blessedly hot. The tub was filling when Leorah arrived.

"Gethon said you might need help getting into the bath." She looked at me. "Oh goodness, Chrissy, you look exhausted! What did you do to yourself? I thought this was a little jaunt, not a battle!"

"It was a little jaunt. I just may have overextended myself a wee bit. Too much time on a horse."

She chattered about normal things, which I was glad to hear. Gossip and news, most of which gladdened my heart. She added some concoctions from the little bottles around to the bathtub, and didn't leave until I was ensconced therein. Which I got into all by myself, thank you. She must have put elfroot in it, because it soothed my sore legs and butt more than I expected. She said she'd be back in an hour to make sure I hadn't drowned, and left. Obviously Ethelathe had decided I needed some pampering. And they hadn't even heard about the memorial upgrade yet.

By the time she came back, I was feeling physically better. I had gotten out of the tub and dressed all on my own. I still felt sprained on the inside, but the outside felt better. The time in the tub had eased the sad, too. It was from reimmersing myself in fresh grief, I knew. I was going back to my real emotions, what was left. I was much better than I had been. I think the worst part was feeling them die. I didn't cope well. She stayed long enough to make sure I was okay, and went back to the cloth room.

I knew Gethron had said to take the day off, but paperwork wasn't really working. Sort of. And there was an hour or two left in the work day. I sat down at my desk, very grateful for those extra pillows, and went over the recent additions. There were only things regarding Ethelathe. I had to check in with Josie.

I did that, and then wended my way over to the tavern for dinner and a drink or two. The Chargers looked less glum. I sat at the bar, and Lisa actually came up and sat next to me. She made small talk and I warily engaged her, but she was pleasant the whole time. Didn't discuss work or requisitions or anything. After that, I went down to where Elias sleeps.

Catching his attention was easy. He looked confused when I told him where Dorian's room was, so I lied to him. Flat out lied. Two truths per lie, that's the formula, so I gave two lies and four truths. "Dorian prefers to sleep next to someone. He gets so cold here at night. He's from a much warmer climate, you know. I just. I don't really want company tonight. I thought that maybe you would be nice enough to share with him? Just for a day or two? You seemed to get along on the trip."

"Of course. I'm sorry, Chrissy. I should have realized you needed some alone time. I'll check on him and see if he wants a stand-in, okay? I'll tell him what you've said about wanting to be alone."

"Oh, please don't do that. I wouldn't want him to think I was avoiding him." That one was all truth. Elias agreed, hugged me and wished me pleasant dreams, and snagged a small bag. I think I kept my grin hidden until he was gone, but barely. Dorian could take him up on it or not, take it at face value or not, and Elias could do the same. Then I went to be in my own bed, alone for the first time in weeks.


	23. Day 20, 24 Cloudreach, 9:41

Skyhold, Day 20, 24 Cloudreach, 9:41

I learned something new in my dreams. Some demons don't want to possess you at all. They have no interest in coming out of the fade. They just want to play with you. Extract emotion. Torture you. It makes them stronger. And sometimes they find the right trigger so hard that you wake up screaming, having soaked the bed with sweat. I needed to be prepared before I went back to sleep.

So I took my sheets to the laundry after getting dressed. I was in no mood to sleep anyway. I wore a dress to make Leorah happy. Besides, my leggings were all still wet. I'd washed them and the tunics, and they were drying in the bathroom. I mean, I had to do something when I couldn't get to sleep. I'd tried drying them the "other" way, but it almost felt like I'd felt after the Templar attack. I needed to recover; time to heal. Little magics until I don't ache anymore, at most. I did put on my vest. Something was niggling at me, and it niggled less when I picked it up.

I decided to walk Skyhold. It was probably four or so, so people would be up soon anyway. The view from the causeway keeps getting oddly prettier. The embers of fires almost look like stars on the ground, to match the stars in the sky. Clouds are gathering on the horizon, so maybe we'll even get rain. I hope so. It's been a month, almost, with no precipitation at all. That's not normal. Tarasyl'an Te'las needs crops if we're going to be able to last here without bending our knees to the Chantry or the Nobles. Inquisibutt needs to be in a stable position when they call the Exalted Council. Having a self-sustaining essentially impregnable fortress just might help.

I felt someone pass. Far enough to be a non-threat, but close enough to let me know they were there. I tensed. "I mean you no harm." He settled on the causeway near, but not too near. "I have apologies to make."

"Yes, you do. But they will mean nothing if the behavior doesn't change." My voice was flat.

"That is understandable. I will make every effort to behave more appropriately."

"No more screaming at me, no more lectures, unless I ask for them?" I turned to look at him.

"I do tend to lecture, but I will try. I will certainly modulate my tone."

"And our interactions will be here, where I can get help should I need it." I may have glanced at the guards on the parapets and the barbican.

"You think you need protection from me?"

"I'm certain of it."

His shoulders sagged. "Granted."

"Why would you follow all these rules, Solas. Why are you interested in some random stupid knife-ear anyway?"

"You are a puzzle. I don't understand you at all. None of your reactions match my expectations, from the first time I sensed your magic. Which is different than most, I might add. When I expect you to cower, you stand toe to toe with me, shouting me down. I think my ears still ring. When I expect you to be forthright you become reticent. When I expect coyness and reticence, you are direct. You do not fear me, despite your words, and that is rarer than you may believe. You challenge me at every turn, rebuffing my efforts and establishing rules where I've not had any. And I do not consider you either stupid or a random knife-ear. You would never tolerate a human using that term."

"That edged dangerously close to censure."

"I will add that information to the boundaries you are putting in place. Even the fact that you are setting boundaries is odd. I am used to offering a small taste of information and seeing someone cling and question. Seek me out, even. You have asked nothing of me, save a piece of information I was too slow to provide. That is quite galling."

"Why did you blow your top over my sleeping with Dorian?"

"My last view of you in Skyhold was you, barely coherent, being tugged and pushed by a human mage in the direction of his quarters. There was none of the giggling of a temporary tryst. The human was grim faced and determined. There were only two options. You were wasting yourself, or you were unwilling. Then I recalled that you delivered his breakfast each morning you did mine, after coming down from that level of the library. You were willing. I got angry."

"It's none of your business either way."

"The most promising young mage I've seen since my travels in the fade? A glimmer of hope for the people?"

"Even were that so. It is my life, and not yours. I get to choose what I do with it, even if it doesn't agree with your ideals."

"Yes. The ability to choose is the key to freedom. I would not trap you, Chrysopal."

"Yet you've done so twice now."

"Twice?"

"You said to me, 'Pleasant dreams, Da'asha, for the rest of the night'. I could not awaken myself after that, and additionally awoke unusually late. That was not your doing? We both know about the first incident. Your apology was extensive."

"I did nothing to cause that."

"Your word?"

"Yes. You have my word I did nothing to affect your sleep that night other than to ensure your dreams would be pleasant. May I ask a question or two?"

"I reserve the right not to answer. I suggest caution."

"You have been hostile to me since before we met."

"And it's been proven to me how wrong I was, hasn't it? You've been nothing but sweetness and light, caring and supportive, both of me and my people, of all races. You couldn't have possibly engaged in lies, torture, and entrapment."

"I did not engage in torture."

"You truly believe lying about being able to heal someone and then forcibly keeping them trapped in a damaged body, constantly in pain and out of breath, isn't torture?"

"I don't understand why you would allow me anywhere near you at all."

"Perhaps I think you can be better than you seem to be. Mostly it's because I tried keeping you away and it made things worse."

His face remained blank. "One other question, then. If I may?"

"I'm halfway tempted to ask if you may what, but I'm refraining. Although I would like to point out that this would be the first actual question other than asking to ask questions."

"So it is. Why do you not want contact in the fade?"

"It's a second home to you, if not your first home, Dreamer. You have power there, and I am defenseless. There is no way to get help, and any help I found that came from the fade, especially here in Skyhold, would be suspect."

"As I am suspect."

"Yes."

"So you wish witnesses to our interactions."

"You grabbed my shoulders and SHOOK me in the fade, Solas. That is assault. You stalked me and grabbed me and SMELLED me. Again, assault. That you descended upon my dreams without permission, repeatedly, is intrusive in and of itself. You wrapped a tether around my spirit without consent. At one point I was so worried something was stalking me in the fade, YOU, that I confined myself in a sphere to protect myself. Do you understand why I may be a hair wary? What other offenses would you commit if angered enough?"

"You already expect death."

"There are many worse things than death."

"Your reasoning. You use logic where I would expect emotion, and emotion when I expect logic. You are fascinating."

"So I'm a bug under glass?"

"My apologies mean nothing? The beneficial things I've done?"

"Is it really an apology if the behavior doesn't change? If I hit a child, then hug her and apologize, then hit her again, she will expect to be hit the next time I raise my hand."

He took a breath at that one. Probably stung. "It's getting light, Chrysopal. May I have the honor of escorting you back into Skyhold keep?" He made a slight bow and held out his arm. Damn, this guy is smooth.

"I'll walk with you, Ser Smarmy, but I will not be clinging to your arm."

"Ser Smarmy? I'm crushed. I will endeavor just to enjoy your company."

"Continual compliments and ego stroking gets just as annoying as yelling, Solas." We walked, side by side, towards the gatehouse.

"I will add that to the list, Keeper of Skyhold."

"Chatelaine."

"You use your word. I shall use mine."

"This is your chance, Solas."

"To prove that I'm not whatever you think I am?"

"No. To prove you can be better than what I think you are."

"I see."

"I doubt it, but time will tell."

"It always does." We reached the kitchen stairs.

I stopped and turned to him. "Solas, I will be willing to hear an apology once I believe that this isn't just another tactic to put me under your control until you figure me out." I'd never seen that startled look in real life.

"You think I'm just trying a different method?"

"I probably remember this quote incorrectly, but it went 'The greatest part of the information I have was acquired by hunting something, and finding something else along the way.' You're a hunter. Perhaps of information, perhaps not. And I don't rest easy because of that. I don't know what it is you hunt. I don't know if I'm the something, or the something else. I left you well alone, for good reason. You wouldn't let that stand. If you want to treat with me, you will have to behave in a fashion that indicates mutual respect. I'm not actually sure you can respect anyone you don't consider your equal."

"You have an interesting mind, Chrysopal. I have thought so from the beginning. I will think on your words. Perhaps we are not so different, after all." He left me there with a graceful bow. It actually didn't look mocking or sarcastic or anything. I didn't breathe easy until he was out of sight. One very fraught conversation, but I came away with fingers and toes intact. He'd given me my three days and three nights, plus a night, then spoken to me in person and in public. We'll see.

The leisurely stroll hadn't bothered me, but those stairs up to the kitchens were a pain. Breakfast, with me confirming breakfast for two in Dorian's room after checking on Elias'. Porridge with some fruit I couldn't identify but was yummy. As I was eating, Gethon sat down next to me. "So did you like Frisky? I can keep you on her, or we can try someone else. Dennet thinks she may be too wide for you."

"Dennet may be right. I felt like I was doing the splits the whole trip. She was nice, though."

"Then we'll find you another. You're picking at your food, trying to delay. Let's go, Chrissy."

I let him drag me out, and he showed me some of what I was doing wrong. I could actually get on, get off, and hold the reins properly at the end of the lesson. Quite the accomplishment, I think.

Josie had sent down my paperwork. Two days and I had tons to do. I spent the rest of the morning sitting on a cushion, writing and planning and calculating. After lunch I decided to take a walk. I was sore, but sitting was making me stiff. I was up on the parapets when the fade rippled. "COLE!"

"You always see me."

"Do you mind?"

"No. It's nice. I like blue. And the bunny."

"I'm glad. I'm assuming they're not far?"

"Yes. You are."

"Am I right?"

"Yes. You are tired, too."

"I'll be okay. I'm going to get Josie. See you soon?"

"Probably."

I looked around and no one was around where I was, so I just hopped off the stairs to the ground. Easier than doing the doubleback. Then I heard "I saw that" from Garalen. Damn, she's sneaky. I waved and kept going.

I got to Josie's office and was telling her that the Inquisitor should arrive soon when the messenger barreled in saying the Inquisitor and his party had been sighted. She looked at me. I just said "Cole". "Josie, would you do me a favor? Would you show Sam his room? I've got to show Lady Pentaghast hers. Sera's is ready, too. Madame de Fer's furniture is in place, and I'm designating one of her handmaids to show her the room. Blackwall's in the stable loft rooms, and a messenger can show him."

"Of course. I would be glad to."

"Excellent." I came out of her office and looked at Varric. "Seeker's back."

"Thanks for the warning."

"You're welcome. She's really not so bad."

"You aren't a dwarf she likes to yell at."

"Maybe she's enamored of the chest hair."

"And who could blame her, but I don't think that's it."

I eased my way down the main steps to the dais portion so I could see. Josie met up with me there as the party came in. She waved enthusiastically. I folded my hands and smiled. We descended the steps and she went up to Sam. "Inquisitor, if you will follow me, I will show you to your new quarters."

I made my way to Cassandra. "Lady Seeker, if you will follow me, I'll show you the room that has been prepared for you."

"Of course."

"Did you have a pleasant trip?" I asked as we headed for the armory.

"It rained the entire time. We stopped off in the Hinterlands to take care of a problem I was informed of by Leliana, as well. We made very good time."

"I'm glad. You seem more cheerful than when you left."

"I was a little unhappy, yes."

We climbed the stairs. "I wanted to give you your choice of rooms. If you don't like this one, I have another that might do." I opened the door, leading her into the little entryway closed by the curtain. Once we were both inside, I gestured for her to pull the curtain aside.

She gasped. "You think this is something I would want?" Her words weren't ideal, but the awe in her voice was. "You see me like this?"

"You are more than your armor, Lady Pentaghast. But if you do not like it…"

"It's… I have no words."

"And if you keep the entrance curtain closed, no one will see your room even when you answer the door. Complete privacy. I couldn't get a bath up here in time, but we've uncovered heated baths in the bottom of the Commander's tower. Would you like to see the other room?"

"Is it like this?"

"It's more utilitarian, to match your outward appearance."

"I will keep this one."

"Of course. I'm glad you like it. The embroidery was done by Leorah, if you happen to want to compliment her. Many of the linens were sewn by her as well. She's quite the designer."

"It's lovely. I will thank this Leorah, but this is your work. I see your touch in the improvements I see everywhere. You are a credit to the Inquisition, Mistress Chrysopal."

"I'm a credit to Skyhold. Skyhold is a credit to the Inquisition."

"Just so." She nodded.

"I'll leave you to rest. Dinner is served either in the dining hall, the tavern, or the mess hall. The dining hall is next to the kitchens, just ask someone to direct you. The tavern requires payment, and is fully operational. The mess hall is within the prison complex, as are the soldiers' barracks." I listed the evening's menu for the dining hall and the tavern, and told her that the soldiers' mess wasn't under my purview (therefore I didn't know what they were serving). "Any runner will be glad to direct you where you need to go. If not, feel free to seek me or mine for assistance. Enjoy your evening, Seeker."

"You as well."

That went remarkably well. The pleasure on her face made it well worth it. Now I know how Varric's going to feel later. I went down to dinner in the dining hall. News everywhere, and I got lots of snuggles from my kids.

Singalong time was something I had missed. I saw Cole sitting against the wall. He seemed to like the music. We shall overcome. Someday. After I turned the guitar over to Eadras for more Thedasian songs, I opened my SELF to check on everyone. We're better together. Inquisibabe is tired, but he's laughing at something, so he must be okay. Dorian's pensive, but he's often pensive. Solas. His thread is still there. I actually expected it to be gone. I'm not sure why.

While I was LOOKING at my people, I happened to glance at my door. There was something on it, like the chantry board. I slipped over there and read "There was a terror demon near here, not of my doing. It is no longer. Pleasant dreams, Da'asha." I'm still not sure what to think of that. It's neither contact in the fade nor contact that could be threatening. Even LOOKING and checking on my people caused that place to ache, so I didn't remove the note. I just said goodnight at the end of songtime, tucked in the littles, took a long, hot bath, and climbed into bed, which had been made in my absence. I'll be going to sleep in just a moment.


	24. Day 21, 25 Cloudreach, 9:41

Skyhold, Day 21, 25 Cloudreach, 9:41

I'm apparently too used to sleeping next to someone. I just can't seem to get comfortable at night, though at least my dreams, when I managed to get a few moments of sleep, were undisturbed. I'm just going to have to adjust. But that's why I was up on the battlements before dawn, again.

Other people are having the same issues, I suppose. I mean, the mind running too fast to sleep issues, not the sleeping next to people issues, but I don't know. In any case, Inquisibabe came up next to me. "I saw you haunting the battlements from my tower. Is everything okay?"

"I just couldn't sleep. Did you rescue the soldiers?"

"They're fine. Recovering. How'd you know about the water?"

"I remembered."

He thought about questioning that, but didn't. "I didn't get a hug when I got back. You were busy."

I smiled. "It's not hug day, but I suppose I could make an exception."

He wrapped his arms around me, and then surprised me by laying his lips on mine. They were soft, but nothing to write home about. He pulled his head back after a moment. "Not a single hint of interest. No response at all."

"You're cute and everything, Sam, but you're not my type."

"You have another suitor?"

"Nope. Not at the moment. But no, that doesn't mean you have a chance."

"You're bad for a man's ego, Chrissy."

"I don't see how. I didn't scream or throw up."

"That would be worse, yes." He let out a chuckle. "I'd been weaving fantasies of you running up to me when we arrived, throwing your arms about me."

"I'm not responsible for your fantasies. But I did miss you. As one misses an annoying but dear friend."

"No chance."

"None."

"Damn. I owe Varric money. He tried to tell me." I burst out laughing at that.

"You're still welcome to hugs and cuddles, unless the other ladies in your life object."

"Who can resist cuddles?" And he stood next to me with his arm around me, and we watched the sunrise. That went better than I'd feared, honestly. We talked for a bit, about Skyhold and what I'd been doing. About the Fallow Mire, and what he'd been doing, and going after an apostate mage in the Hinterlands for Cassandra. The sun came fully over the horizon, and we agreed to get on with the day. Then he turned to me. "I may not have a claim on your heart, but I wouldn't see it broken. Your suitors better treat you right."

"No worries on that part. I've not had a beau in years, and the last one soured me on beaus in general."

"Give me his name, and the Inquisition will flatten him." That was kind of a gleeful thought. The Inquisition descending upon my ex-husband on Earth, I mean. It made me smile.

"He's beyond your reach, Sam. But I appreciate the thought." He wrapped an arm around my neck, then suddenly turned so my neck was trapped against his waist, and proceeded to NUGGIE my HEAD.

"If I'm going to be your brother, I'm going treat you EXACTLY like I do my big sister. Bye!" He released me and bounced down the stairs, probably to avoid my retaliation. I'd get him. I know how to treat little brothers.

Gethon met up with me at breakfast, and dragged me into another lesson. I may have whined at him about finally having a morning where my butt didn't hurt, but he didn't listen. Dennet watched him work with me for a while, then when I was currying my mount after I was done, he came up to me. "I didn't realize you were interested in riding."

"I'd never had the time to learn. I spent time in a stable doing the work part, though."

"Have you ever gotten up on a Hart?"

"I've been on three live mounts in my life, and the first one was an ancient pony led in a circle at a fair."

"A hart might feel more natural for you. After you get a few more of the basics down, I'm going to have Geth set you up on Drummer." And he walked off. A man of few words, that.

A quick wipe down and off for paperwork. Ugh. I didn't realize how much paper is involved with paperwork. You can interact with hundreds of files on a computer, and there's no pile that falls over. Damn it. And no chance you'll be on your knees on the floor with your ass in the air chasing pages when the next person who wants to talk to you walks up. And starts laughing.

"It's not funny, Dorian."

"Perhaps not from YOUR perspective, but from this side, it's hilarious. Would you like some assistance?"

"If you could manage to get all these pages back in one pile, I'd be grateful, yes."

A gust of wind blew through the room, leaving the pages in two neat stacks. "I was an apprentice, once. I could teach you that spell, if you like."

"Maybe when it doesn't hurt to do magic anymore. Thank you, Dorian. That's much easier." I picked up the stacks and put them back on my desk, setting books on top to keep them there."

"You need some decorative paperweights. And what do you mean, hurt? It hurts to do magic?"

"I told you I sprained something. It's better, but still not healed."

"I've never heard of such a thing."

"Yeah, well it's not as bad as the annulment, so I'm sure I'll be fine."

"Annulment! What annulment! Someone severed your connection to the fade?"

"They tried. Didn't work so well. You just have to breathe between the sharp pieces."

"Breathe between the... You have... That's not... Maker. I'm… just going to carry a bottle. But you should get that checked, by someone who can check it? CAN someone check it?"

"I know of someone, but he and I are not on the best of terms."

He sighed, and changed the subject. "You've been avoiding me."

"Have not."

"Elias said that you sent him to me."

"I was sure you'd enjoy his company better than mine, especially in bed."

"A lover doesn't take the place of a friend, my Dove."

I smiled at him. "And a friend makes sure that there is time and place for a lover, so when I saw the interest on both sides, I did."

"So you walk Skyhold at night instead of sleeping."

"Sometimes. I'm fine, love."

"You're not, but I won't press. You were out on the battlements earlier."

"Oh dear. Is everyone going to ask me about that?"

"Only those people who saw a disgruntled Inquisitor paying Varric 5 sovereigns."

"I shot him down, yes."

"I'm sorry?" Oops. Earthisms.

"I refused him. Gently. And then he offered to bring the Inquisition down on the man who hurts me. So sweet."

"That's a scary prospect. Join me for lunch, Dove?"

"I'd love to, Dorian. And then perhaps we could wander down toward the practice field?"

He laughed. "Absolutely." He presented his arm, and I took it.

Lunch, eye-candy, then I checked on the progress of the renovations. I went to the prisons for the first time. Idiot soldier at the prisons didn't want to let me in. "Is there a prisoner?"

"No."

"So there's no way I could be aiding and abetting an enemy?"

"No."

"So why wouldn't I be allowed to look at the hole in the keep?"

"Maybe you should get someone in charge to write you a note or something, elf. Until then, you should probably get back to work."

"Oh, really? Very well, then."

So I went up to Cullen's office. "Chrissy, to what do I owe the pleasure?"

"Apparently I need a note from 'someone in charge' to see the damage to the keep I'm responsible for, Commander. Until then, I should 'probably get back to work.' She wasn't precisely rude, I admit. However, I do need to cast an eye over what's been done from a structural perspective, and I don't feel like arguing until I'm blue in the face. Could you spare me a moment?"

He looked at his paperwork. "I could use a break. Shall we go view the damage and the repairs?"

"That would be nice. Perhaps introductions are in order as well, to prevent any further difficulties?"

"If you like."

So I walked my happy butt right back into the prison area, was introduced by the Commander to the horribly embarrassed soldier, and we viewed the destruction in the prison as well as the minimal repairs. After spending a few moments musing over what could cause such destruction, we walked back to the main hall together, where he left me with a smile.

Varric spoke up. "So, two in one day?"

"Two what?"

"First the Inquisitor, now the Commander?"

"Three, actually. First, the Inquisitor learned that this particular woman is not available to him, as you know already, since you were paid. Then lunch with Dorian. Then the Commander was kind enough to introduce me to an irritating soldier in the prison complex. All completely innocent."

"That's not what I'm going to say in my book."

"Are you planning on making me sound as salacious as possible?"

"Of course. You have to write what sells."

"I'm not going to be in your books. Copyright infringement."

He laughed. "You're copyrighted?"

"Not yet, but it seemed the thing to say."

"That was a good one. The Inquisitor's going to head back to the Hinterlands soon. Says he's got to 'clean up' the area. Then the plan is to move on to Crestwood to meet with Hawke. He'll be taking me with him. I was wondering, any words of advice for me?"

"You're serious?"

"I don't know where you get it, but you've got some insight. I don't turn down extra help."

"Are you sure you're serious about this?"

"Why wouldn't I be?"

"I don't know. Most people wouldn't ask for advice from someone who might be crazy."

"You're not crazy."

"Very well. Don't drink the water, at least until it's not green."

"Green?"

"You'll see. Did he work all three astrariums in the Hinterlands?"

"There are three?"

"There are always three. Including in Crestwood."

"I see. How do you know that?"

"I won't answer that." I smiled at him. "For the rest, be nice to the trysting couple, they're just kids. Explore everything. And try talking to the spirits. You might be surprised."

"You want me to talk to spirits."

"Why not? I've seen you talk to books, chairs, stairs, fire, beer, cards, shoes, and your chest hair. Why wouldn't you talk to a spirit?"

"Those other things don't talk back."

"Neither do most spirits. I don't expect you to chat up someone who's attacking you, but if they're not attacking you, wouldn't it be nice to know WHY? Worst case scenario, they attack you. But you've still gained a short break from the fighting."

"That's actually a fair point, now that I think about it. But if my stuff starts talking to me, I'm coming after you."

"Fair enough. When do you leave, Storyteller?"

"Not until after the holiday. His Inquisitorialness wants everyone who can to enjoy Summerday."

"Summerday?"

"You don't know about Summerday? It's in six days, Cuddles. There's only five holidays a year that everyone celebrates."

"I dropped a thread. An important thread. I'm so sorry, Storyteller. I have to go." I kissed him on the cheek and ran off to see Cook. I hadn't made ANY plans for a celebration.

Varric called out "Five minutes isn't going to make a difference!" as I left.

Luckily other people had made plans. I'd at some point approved "general celebration" instructions. I vaguely remember it, but not completely. Cook had everything on track for the feast. I'd requisitioned everything she asked for. She confided that she'd asked for extra, because she wanted to make sure enough stayed below stairs "for the rest of us." I told her that if any of her girls, or boys, had trouble with wandering hands, I would make sure it got handled. "We know that, Mistress. You take care of us."

Leorah had the Inquisition banners and celebration decorations ready to go up. I was snootily told the cloister would handle the gardens, so I washed my hands of that section. I went to the Commander, second time in one day. "Back again?"

"Do you have a moment?"

"Of course. What do you need?"

"Summerday is coming up. I am concerned about the usual issues when you involve young people such as soldiers, alcohol, and celebrations of coming of age. And the usual issues with inebriated people and dubious consent, especially among those paid to smile and be pleasant no matter what."

"You're worried that what happened to"

I interrupted him. "Yes."

"I'm sorry?"

"She was one of those lost, Commander. I'm not ready to hear her name. But yes, that is the kind of situation I am concerned with."

"I will make sure there is adequate briefing on the consequences of, how did you put it? Dubious consent?"

"Yes."

"Consider it handled, from my end. We'll post reminders, as well. If there is an incident, Chrysopal, I should like to be informed immediately."

"Of course."

I went out the central door. I actually had a question for Solas. The continuation of a previous conversation, in a way. I came in the door and didn't see him. Dang it. I must have sighed or something, because I heard his voice. "Was there something I can do for you, Chrysopal?" He was up on the scaffolding, drawing on the wall with a charcoal pencil.

"I was hoping to ask you a question."

"I will be right down." And he slung his legs over the side and hopped down. I'm not the only one playing with the "no falling damage in Skyhold" idea, it seems. He dusted charcoal off his hands, then rubbed his brow, leaving a streak of gray. I pressed my lips together, hard, because now he had streaks on his nose, cheeks, and forehead. Yep, he's an artist. He's probably going to be covered in multicolored plaster, later. "Something wrong?"

I did my best to keep a straight face as I held my handkerchief out to him. "You might want to…" I gestured at his face.

He rubbed it on his cheek, confused. Then looked at it. "Oh, for… Just a moment, please." There's a basin and ewer on one of his tables, so he dampened the cloth and wiped his face and hands. "You should have less trouble refraining from laughter now," he said, as he turned to me. I was struggling, I admit. "Fine, get it out of your system," he sighed. That helped turn the giggle urge off.

"No, no, you've fixed it. Except for the bit on your left ear. If I had any doubt that you were an artist, it's completely gone now. I used to know a sculptor of clay, and she ended up with bits stuck everywhere as well."

"You came here for a reason, I presume?"

"Yes. You seemed displeased that I never asked anything of you except one thing you weren't able to provide in time. So, I thought I'd ask a similar question along the same vein. Since removing all the alcohol for the Summerday celebration is a bad idea for several reasons, is there a way to instantly sober a miscreant?"

"You were serious about that worry."

"I seldom lie, Solas. Too complicated."

"I don't know for certain, but I will make every effort to check. Is there a time table this time?"

"Well, the information would be useful whenever it was available, but we are discussing Summerday, which is six days from now. If you would be willing to keep an eye out, as well, for trouble? Things are going too well."

"I can do that."

"Then I'll take my leave." I stopped on the way out. "Thank you. I do appreciate it." He tipped his head, thoughtful.

I'll talk to Bull tomorrow. I'm fairly certain he'd be on board with cracking heads if someone acts up. I went down to the dining hall and ate with my littles. Laura's going to be fostered out soon, she tells me. I'm going to have to check in with Josie on that one. Stephen's still begging to be put with the soldiers, but he's two years too young. Daniel wants to stay with us, thank goodness. The Tweedles haven't thought about it at all. Neither shows any inclination to magic, so far.

Songtime was fun. Then Cole started humming a song I hadn't taught yet, The dance of the wild faeries, next to me. Not loud, but it struck me as odd. "Eadras, do you have legends of the fae people here?"

"The fae, Chrissy? I'm not familiar with them."

"Fairies?"

"We have fairy tales. Little people with wings?" He still looked confused.

"Never mind. That's not it. Thank you."

I looked at Cole. "Could it have diluted so much, here?"

Cole looked at me. "Others, to tell things. Before. The season is coming?"

"Maybe. It may be."

"Legends from history."

"Could the reach be so far?"

"Where is far?"

"Good point."

"It isn't pointy at all."

"Never mind, Dear."

"I am Dear, even before you met me. That's odd, but nice."

The littles got tucked in, the adults said their goodnights, and I'm going to bed.


	25. Day 22, 26 Cloudreach, 9:41

Skyhold, Day 22, 26 Cloudreach, 9:41

Despair demons, even the good ones, are easy. Especially when you're not feeling their emotion all that much. I don't know how to turn terror upon itself yet. The despair demon suggested I scare it, but I'm not sure how far I should trust a demon's advice. I still toss and turn though. Once again, I was meandering Skyhold in the dark for much of the early morning. The walking helps clear my head. I can survive on three or four hours of sleep a night, right? It gives me a chance to look things over before there are people everywhere, too.

Aside from the clunky buildings, this place is beautiful. I find myself wondering what the original keep looked like. Somehow I don't see "Ferelden stone box" as the typical elven citadel. It's possible that it has a similar floorplan, though. There's a feel to the way things flow that seems more natural and organic than regimented. Plus, sometimes form follows function. Towers are going to be appropriate in particular places, not just randomly along a wall. The causeway is at the narrowest crossing from the surrounding mountains to our little shelf. And part of me still wants to paint the whole thing white, just to see. Things to muse upon.

I did get the chance to see a group of three of Leliana's people arrive, before dawn. I was too far away to identify them, but maybe Zathras is back. I've been good. I've done my exercises, and my breathing. It's not an hour a day, but he just said every day, not a specific amount of time. Ten minutes is plenty, right? The good part is that I ache much less, so even if I have to BREATHE into a movement, I should be able to fool him that I've been practicing more than I have.

I opened my SELF on the battlements. I can't count how many tenuous links have appeared. Down in the frozen valley, here in Tarasyl'an Te'las, and going over the horizon. How in the dickens am I connected to people over the horizon? One or two maybe, but that many? I have maybe seventy-five strong links, and a few weird ones, but those are all here. Everything else is tons of wispiness floating off into the distance. I don't feel much from those when I strum them, though. Most of my people are asleep. One vibrated back at me. Oops. I try to skip that one.

I closed myself down again, because that twanged that place inside. The ache is much better, but I really have to stick to little things. It's taking longer than I expected to recover this time. Last time it only took three days to reach this point, but I suppose I was under constant supervision and lecturing. I've not exactly told anyone about this one, and I didn't pass out immediately, just got dizzy/weird. I think I fooled Ethelathe into thinking I'm fine, without deliberately meaning to. Let's just hope for no emergencies.

Breakfast, consultations with Cook, riding, a quick meeting with the new head housekeeper (my dear Joan, who moved in with us with Isa), and paperwork. Typical morning. I finally took the note off my door. It was itching at me. That made me stop for a thought. It hadn't itched when it was put up. It took two days to get itchy, unless he changed something. Mages here had glowy dust sort of backed up in their systems, stored for use. It couldn't be that simple, could it? Stagnant magic? I went hunting for Andrew.

He was down in the Templar tents, practicing the pointy object stuff. He took a short break, and basically said he had no idea, because "I've never tried to feel a difference between fresh and stale magic." That's a good way of putting it, too. Fresh magic and stale magic. Depends on if it's bread or water. My fire was older than that, but it hadn't itched. Even mage staffs don't generally itch. Maybe because they actually channel magic through them instead of letting it collect there? I had to talk to Dorian.

I went looking for Dorian and found him in his nook. "Dorian, I think I've learned something."

"First time, Dove?" He was playing, and it was cute, but it wasn't the time.

"No. Stop that." But I did smile at him. "I think it's STAGNANT magic that itches. No flow. Fresh magic has a tingly-buzzy pleasant feeling like too much adrenaline."

"You're going too fast again, my dear. First, could you stop bouncing? You are making me tired just looking at you. Second, stagnant magic?"

"Dorian, you know what stagnant means. And if magic has a flow, a tide, even ripples and currents, then why wouldn't it also get stale and stagnant in places?"

He pinched the bridge of his nose. "Just a moment." I watched as he opened a chest, pulled out a highball glass, and put two square stones in it. He leaned down and rummaged in another decorative box and took out a beautiful glass bottle. Removing the lid, he poured two fingers of a dark gold liquid into the glass, pondered a moment and then added another finger. I went to speak, and he held up his hand. He took a small sip, exhaled carefully, and then downed the glass.

Setting the glass down, he turned back to me. "My dove, in the course of just a few sentences, you've gone from describing magic, which was previously "glowy dust", as stagnant and itchy, as well as tingly-buzzy like something that I don't understand, and then compounded things by speaking of magic as a vast water system with currents and tides. You are going to need to slow down."

He led me over to his chair and bade me sit. Squatting in front of me, he held my hand in his. "Darling, magic doesn't work that way. There's no such thing as 'stale magic', that I've ever heard of. I'm told there's likely no way to 'sprain' yourself, either. And magic is not 'tingly'."

"I see. Then apparently I'm experiencing something new?"

"You are that sure?"

I sighed at him. "Come here, Dorian." I put my hand around the nape of his neck and pulled his forehead to mine. I gently gathered some of the glowy dust in the room and slipped it into his being, until he was completely full, and perhaps overflowing a little. It took maybe two seconds.

"Stop stop!" I already had. "My skin, it tingles like…" He stumbled back a bit, landing on his rear, eyes wide. "This is what you mean, this tingly feeling? You feel this ALL THE TIME!"

"Not anymore. Only when I allow myself to, unless it's particularly strong. But the other side of it, the itchiness, is intrusive. I don't know how to show that to you. It's the way your being is. Itchy. Not you so much at the others, but you use magic almost constantly, in little ways. It doesn't build up and sit in you like others. Madame de Fer is the same way, actually. As is Solas, though he is, in general, significantly less itchy than either of you."

"I suppose at least that portion is good to hear. Da'asha, you are scaring Dorian."

I touched Dorian's thread, since I was open anyway. He shivered. Did he feel that? He wasn't scared. Shocked, surprised, and taken off guard, but not scared. I closed my SELF, rubbing my sternum, because it ached somewhere in there.

"No, I'm not."

"No, really, she isn't. Dove, did that hurt you?" There was worry in his tone, and he came back to touch my knee.

"Aches, no more. Don't worry."

"You do this… thing, and hurt your… whatever, and show me… whatever this was, and I'm not to worry?"

"I'm sorry to have bothered you, Dorian. I'm sure I have the concepts wrong again."

"No, no, that's not what I meant."

Solas spoke. "When you asked me about a magic sprain, I'd assumed that you were discussing the book in your hand. You were not."

"Why, no. I didn't realize you thought so, but when you said it was unlikely, I assumed you were correct."

"And whatever she's done to you is the cause of the panicked yelling that brought me running up here?"

"Whatever she did is fading. It wasn't unpleasant, really, just surprising."

"I needed to show you I wasn't making it up. I'll let you gentlemen finish your discussion. I should go." They both protested. "I have work to do. Maybe you two can figure out what's going on with me. Between you, most of any information I might provide is there. Truly, I don't want to hear the argument. Dorian, you may tell him anything you wish about MAGIC, but…"

"Of a certainty, my dove. I understand."

"Da'asha, you don't need to leave."

"Would my being here be in any way productive, or would I be sitting, waiting for you two to ask questions while you discussed esoteric magical theories beyond my ken?"

They both had the grace to look a bit sheepish. "We wouldn't want to leave you out of something regarding you," Dorian stated firmly.

"You might learn something or figure something out while you listen," added Solas.

"I'm going to get lunch. I'll send some up to you both. Then I'm going to do other things. If you have questions, write them down." I kissed Dorian's cheek, then paused as I passed Solas. I didn't touch him, though I had the urge to brush a hand against his shoulder in goodbye. I nodded instead, and left.

I did send up lunch to them. It was just telling Cook that Solas was with Dorian, actually. They both have standing requests. I took my lunch at the tavern, because I wanted to chat with Krem or Bull if possible. They were playing some sort of dice game I didn't recognize. I leaned on a post to watch, but it seemed the rules changed every round, erratically. I'm fairly certain that Bull noticed me first, but it took almost a minute more for Krem to notice me standing there.

He glanced at Bull and stood up. (The dice game is played on the floor, in a circle like with marbles, with multiple cups and strange beads of various colors, as well. Your guess is as good as mine.) "Chrissy, haven't seen you in a while. What can I do for you?"

"I've been busy. Had to leave for a couple of days. You guys doing okay?"

"Of course. Experience, process, and move on. It works." He shrugged. "How about you?"

"There are holes in me that aren't yet healed, but they're beginning to scab over."

"Did you come for a reason?" He glanced at Bull again.

"I was actually hoping to chat with Ser The Iron Bull about Summerday."

"I'm RIGHT HERE. Krem isn't a gateguard."

"Sometimes he is. Or should be. Right, Krem?"

"I'm not going to answer that with the Chief right there. He's scarier than you are."

"I'm not scary."

"Of course not." Krem nodded at me, and veered off to a table to get a drink.

"So, what about Summerday."

"Sometimes people get handsy on holidays. I was going to ask if you'd mind looking out for issues of abuse or dubious consent."

"I always do. Not a fan of that sort of stuff."

"Of course. I wasn't speaking of negotiated arrangements, I wish to make clear. Drunk humans don't often negotiate with elves. Or any other of the serving people, really."

"Yeah, that's sometimes a problem. I don't allow it around me, though. I'll keep my eye open."

I smiled at that one. "Thanks, The Iron Bull."

"Heard that Vint's found a partner."

"They're not serious. Elias is sweet, but Dorian would walk all over him long term. And Dorian's fun, but Elias will get frustrated with the determinedly cocky façade. But they both feel better for the time being. I think they're scratching itches, not setting up house."

"You seem pretty sure of that."

"If you say so. It's just my opinion of course. Anyway, I have things to do."

"I'm sure. You could always come by for coffee, you know."

"I might do that. I'm starting to spread a bit thin, so it won't be daily. Is that okay?"

"Overwork?"

"Nah. Just too many places to be."

"You look tired."

"You always hand out the nicest compliments."

"Yeah. That wasn't one."

"My words were intended as both a sarcastic comment and an indication that the line of conversation was closed."

"I gathered that, too."

"See you later, The Iron Bull." He just lifted his hand and they went back to their game.

I checked on my people. Well, the ones I actually knew. I checked over the various workplaces, too. It takes longer here than in Haven, so it was nearly dinner before I was finished. I picked the kids up from school, and took them down to the main room to play. Seeing Laura reminded me of the comment she'd made about fostering, so I sent a note to Josie about it.

We all trekked in to dinner, and I spent the rest of the evening normally. I wonder if we could get a piano up here? They probably have at least harpsichords. I also never thought I'd say it, but I think I'd like a quiet night sometime soon. Out in the wind and weather, like I used to spend on Druffalo Bluff.


	26. Day 23, 27 Cloudreach, 9:41

Skyhold, Day 23, 27 Cloudreach, 9:41

I'd probably gotten up around one or two. I was prowling the ramparts, planning on turning back in soon, when two mages came up to me. You know, I seem to recall that these two don't actually get along all that well. Unless they're doing the magic thing. Crap.

"You're not sleeping. You told me you were fine, Dove."

"I am fine, Dorian. I'm just enjoying the night air. Why aren't you in bed? Hello, Solas."

"We've been talking about the situation. I seem to be incapable of seeing what you see, but I do think I understand at least part of what you are experiencing. Solas appears to understand, but can't explain it to me. We have questions, and when I spotted you walking…"

"Where's Elias?"

"Him? I don't know. His bed, probably?"

"Dorian, did he come up to see you?"

"Chrissy, we are talking about MAGIC. Solas, you tell her."

"Chrysopal, I do have a few questions, but probably not ones you are willing to answer at this point. I do need to know more about your usage of magic."

I sighed. "If I'm to be interrogated, I insist on comfort. Let's stop in the kitchens, and then we can use my sitting room. I'll tend to Elias in the morning."

Dorian protested. "But the library!"

"You can go back to the library if you wish. I'm going to my room."

Solas actually smiled at Dorian. "I told you she was recalcitrant. Infuriating woman."

"Indeed. I should have remembered her large stubborn streak."

"I am neither stubborn nor recalcitrant. I am merely headstrong."

I then traipsed to the kitchens and assembled a tray from the servants' larder. Bread, cheese, almost-overripe fruit. Both men had followed me. I handed the tray to Solas, handed a pitcher of fruited water to Dorian, picked up some glasses, and went off to my room. The Pampered Prince bookends looked startled to be handed the refreshments, but why should I do the heavy lifting?

I left the door open for them, and sat on my settee, putting the glasses on the small table. After they arrived, Dorian started pouring. "Before we get started, I have a completely unrelated question."

"I reserve the right not to answer."

"Fair enough. Did you really tell the Inquisitor that he should be glad you weren't screaming or vomiting?"

I was surprised, to say the least. And trying not to laugh. "Where did you hear that?"

"That's what he told Varric as the money changed hands." Solas looked at us both with that inquisitive look he has.

"Well, it wasn't quite that blunt, but those words may have crossed my lips. I said I couldn't be bad for his ego because of that."

"Priceless."

Solas arched an eyebrow. "Would someone care to inform me what's going on?"

"Our little Chrissy here completely crushed our poor Inquisitor after he tried to kiss her."

"He succeeded in kissing me. I don't see why people are finding it funny."

"He kissed you, and you told him to be glad you didn't vomit?" Solas' eyebrows went up to his nonexistent hairline.

"That's not precisely how it went. New subject, please. And there is no cause for the laughter. Dorian, how much have you had to drink this evening?"

"Oh, enough to be fuzzy, but not too much to participate."

"So you're only a little sloshed."

"Quite right."

I sipped the water and waited. The men were silent. After a few moments, I quirked a brow of my own. "I thought there were questions?"

Solas took a deep breath. "Dorian told me that you've been doing magic only since the breach."

"I have not done anything like Thedasian magic before that point, yes."

"Evasive, but fully true."

"As clear as possible."

Dorian was looking at us. "Why do I feel like I'm missing a conversation somewhere?"

"Solas and I took a while to come to a tentative truce."

"That's one way to put it, yes."

"I see. Or not." Dorian did look confused.

"Did we come here to discuss my personal life? Because I would DEARLY love to ask you some questions, Dorian."

"No, of course not. Basically, elven skeptic over here has requested clarification of the things you've done with your glowy dust. He's clearly not been paying attention recently."

"Certainly. It's fairly short list. Potions, veiling, nearbeer, painting, invisible writing, untying knots..." I glanced at Solas, then continued. "basic healing, creating fire, changing fire, making light, connecting things to other things, moving rocks, and a barrier."

Dorian's mouth dropped open. "That is NOT the list I would give, my dove. Let's try this again. I remember Eadras talking about potions. True?" I nodded. "What is this 'nearbeer'?"

"Removing alcohol from wine, beer, and spirits."

"Alright." Solas was nodding as Dorian spoke. "How much wine, beer, and spirits?"

"All of it. Why?" Solas stopped nodding.

"All of it?" Solas' voice was too calm.

"Well, it wouldn't do to affect only half of it. How would I tell the difference? This barrel but not that one?"

"And that's when Elias said you had the nosebleed," Dorian continued.

"That was because I fell off the wall after passing out. It was only two days after the annulment, after all."

"Quite. Everyone gets nosebleeds when they remove all the alcohol from a town two days after an annulment. Painting, what did you paint?"

"Actually, I didn't, really. Someone tossed paint on the bulletin board we made, so I spread it evenly and turned it red."

"Turned it red. Of course. What other color would it be. Invisible writing?"

"He knows all about that. I wasn't sure it was him, actually."

"Is that why you were so pleasant?" Solas broke in.

"Probably. Since you're going in order, Dorian, Invisible writing is writing stuff with the glowy dust you are so offended by. Untying knots, he knows that one too. He tied a magic tether to me and it took hours to undo. Basic healing was encouraging the cells of my alveoli to replicate, healing my lungs enough to be able to breathe."

At the confused looks on that one, I told them alveoli were the little bitty sacs in your lungs that actually held the air. Then I continued, "Fire, that was in the mountains, to make a pyre of sorts. I changed it to sing the memories of the lost, turning it purple."

"That's what you modified on our little trip?"

"Yes, Dorian."

"You also added the stone basin."

"Yes, but I didn't take into account the trinkets there. A really bad job on my part."

Solas asked, "How did you make a stone basin? And how big was the fire?"

"The fire was about normal size for a funeral pyre, I think. About the size of a druffalo? As for the basin, I sort of looked to see what materials around, wanted the obsidian to make a basin real bad, and twisted the magic into doing what I wanted. The rock bubbled up and formed itself into a shallow pool. So I scrubbed it into a bowl-ish shape." He took a deep breath. "If you growl, yell, otherwise criticize, or do anything except potentially explain how I did it and how I might refrain from hurting myself next time, I will hit you and then I will never speak to you again." He shut his mouth.

Dorian looked at us. "Chrissy, I don't think I've ever heard you speak to someone like that before."

"I have cause."

"No, no. It's fascinating. I thought you got along with everyone. Do continue."

"I get along with most people. Even him, sometimes. Anyway, the barrier was a joint effort between Andrew and me. He put up an antimagic barrier and I nudged a physical one up behind it, and then we sort of blended it together at the edges. That was only because you told me not to show people my magic, Dorian."

"I do recall, yes. And instead of refraining, you decided to play with swirling a Templar's abilities with magic. And the 'making light' is what you are calling glowing and making those visual patterns in the air."

"Yep."

"I'm assuming you don't want to discuss the clogging of your magic or the disappearing conduits, either?"

"Certainly not. I wasn't doing magic for that."

"See what I mean, Solas? Elias says she does these wonderful bits of magic but can't defend herself at all."

"Oh, I forgot that I can clean and grow people's hair, too. And I once hurt someone when Feren was beaten, but I think that's only when I'm mad and I don't know how I did it."

Solas let out a sigh. "And you forget this one." He tugged on the connection between us.

"Ow. Please don't do that right now. It hurts." I rubbed my chest.

"Doing even that hurts?" Solas sounded concerned.

"Just aches, really, except for the actual tug. Doesn't so much hurt anymore. It's improving."

The bald one looked at Dorian. "You were right, she's a completely untrained apostate desperately in need of some sort of guidance. She mixes magic styles and does things that should require significant study. And she's damaged something."

"And you know the others have figured it's her."

"We'll have to arrange for something."

"Whoah, boys. I only asked that someone find out what's happening, not try to order my life. I've got too many threads in the air already, and I really don't have room for however long "guidance" or whatever arrangement would take." They looked at each other and nodded like they'd made some sort of decision, but they kept their mouths shut. "Just tell me if the glowy stuff is real, and if it really does get stagnant if left in one place for too long."

Dorian said no at the same time as Solas said yes. Well, that was helpful. So I said that. The two mages proceeded to start debating the issue. Sounded like a conversation for which I came in during the middle. Dorian talked of invisible magic that could be felt and shaped. Solas spoke of color and texture. I figured people interpreted the sensations in some way they could understand. They disagreed, arguing late into the night. After a while, I fell asleep. I truly was tired. I woke up alone, in my bed, with the dishes and cups and stuff cleared. I would have thought it was just a dream if the candles hadn't been glowing. Not lit, mind you. Glowing. Joy.

It was actually mid-breakfast when I got out of my room. I'd missed my consulation with Cook. She told me she'd send up a note with the changes and approvals she needed, because she was way too busy at the moment. I grabbed a quick bite and went with Gethon to the stables. There was a hart, in a strange saddle, waiting for me this time. "You're kidding, right?"

"Dennet says that you've got the right kind of seat for a hart, and that you should try Drummer, here. Just try it, Chrissy."

"This thing's back is over my head, but okay." I stepped into the stirrup like I'd been taught, and threw my leg over, settling. It did feel different. Leaned a hair further back, knees a touch closer together. When I looked, there was no bit in Drummer's mouth. Entirely neck and knee led. Gethon led us for a while so we could get used to each other, and then told me to go in a circle in the paddock. And I did! It worked! Drummer's gait was a little odd, but I like riding the hart better than the horses. Guess Dennet's good at this stuff. Shocker, I know.

Gethon was grinning as I slid off Drummer's back. "Dennet said if you suited each other, Drummer would be your usual mount. Looks like that's what's going on." I tended Drummer and bid farewell to Geth. Dennet was nowhere to be seen, or I'd have said thank you to him.

Paperwork. All the typical stuff. There's a shocking amount of paperwork. Laura was right about fostering. Leliana's in talks with a couple up in Val Foret about taking our little lady in. Josie would like assurance that everything's on track for Summerday. Cullen sent me a copy of the notice he's posting tomorrow regarding proper treatment of people, including servants. Three petitions to "join" Ethelathe. Forwarded by Eadras. One mediation, in writing. I made a decision on that one (everybody gets out what they put in, and the rest goes to the Inquisition), and grabbed the three petitions. I needed to talk to Eadras. Who was nowhere to be found.

I did find Zathras, though, as he was coming to look for me. I put the paperwork back and we went out. Ten minutes a day is not enough. I got in my breathing, though. He chastised me for not practicing enough, and walked me in for lunch. He reminded me I'd promised he could buy me dinner in the tavern, I told him I'd meet him there at dusk tomorrow, and he left me to my own devices.

I checked on Sera, who loved her rooms, but was busy doing stuff. Something with bits of string and fluffy balls. Maybe making "spiders"? I spent some of the afternoon down with Harrit. Enborr has his room down here, but Wulfgang works down here. I don't quite understand that, but Harrit says it's probably because Enborr's a dwarf. They're waiting on some new supplies and an Artificer. Dagna's coming! I spoke to Elias, and he wasn't hurt by Dorian's rebuff last night. Good thing. "It's not like that, Chrissy. I mean it is, but it's not." Clear as mud. I double-checked the stillroom and the cloth storage, recounting to match against inventory.

Dinner, singing. There was quite the stir when Dorian, Inquisibabe, and Solas came downstairs. They're not usually seen by us peons. The Tweedles immediately started bugging Sam, who was sweet, but told them he needed to talk to me. My first thought: What did those two do? I led Sam to my sitting room, and shut the door before Dorian or Solas could join us. Sam piped up. "Dorian just lost money."

"You boys are betting on who I let into my rooms now?"

"Nope. Solas said you'd shut them out. Dorian said you wouldn't."

"To what do I owe the pleasure, Inquisitor. You are here officially, aren't you?"

"Actually, yes. It's been pointed out to me, again, that you are an untrained mage. Fiona is asking, demanding, you be put under her tutelage."

"So much for freedom for mages, I see. I'd rather be stabbed."

"That's… abrupt. The other option is that you allow someone else to give you lessons and guidance. An hour a day is all I ask."

"Which one?"

"Which one what?"

"Which one cooked up this harebrained scheme?"

"You should be glad the Templars aren't calling for your head."

"The Templars know better."

"I'm not answering your question, Chrissy. Choose a mentor, or multiple mentors, or whatever, but you need training. That much is clear."

"Fine. I will meet with the Templar Andrew on the morrow to discuss a potential mentor for me." Inquisibabe looked shocked. "You object to my consulting the Templars on a suitable instructor?"

"No, no. Just surprised, is all. Most mages wouldn't want to do that."

"If that is all our business, Inquisitor?"

"Are you mad at me?"

"No. I'm annoyed with the lot of you. Exactly what am I supposed to dump to make time for the new lessons? I'm already doing paperwork, handling the residence, overseeing the repairs with Eustace, taking riding lessons, taking physical fitness lessons, keeping track of Ethelathe, planning for a celebration, working up rosters, managing children's schedules, and now you say I need to carve another hour out of my day to study magic. I haven't read an actual book in weeks. I'm busy from sunup to sundown and my only real free time is in the middle of the night."

"I'll tell Josie you need an assistant. Is that all?" I huffed at him.

"That is not what I meant."

"You'll get an assistant. You'll confine your Residence work to mornings and emergencies and decision making instead of minutia. You'll trust your area bosses to report to you instead of checking on them in person every day. You'll ride in the morning as usual. You'll start taking your DEFENSE lessons in the afternoon, along with magic lessons. Ethelathe can have afternoons, too. DELEGATE, Chrissy. Hire some people. You're not the person to be delivering meals, entertaining children, or cleaning privies anymore. You have to realize that. Pick any job. We have elves and maidens and lads begging for it below in the valley. Why don't you interview some instead of taking their work? You can start the day after Summerday. Until then, you're on vacation."

"Vacation?"

"Yes. Until you heal. And sleep. The bags under your eyes are huge. You have bruises on your arms, probably from carrying things. Bull, Dorian, Solas, Leorah, Eadras, a little girl named Laura who showed up at two the other morning and pointed you out on the walls, and a dwarf named Enborr say you are either working too hard or spread too thin or not sleeping, and my mages claim you've hurt yourself on your little field trip back to that first camp as well."

"I need to get the paperwork done, at least. What am I supposed to do for the next four days?"

"No paperwork. Take strolls. Be seen. Rest. Sleep. Sing. Play. Read a book. Whatever. I'll even let you keep taking riding lessons and start your magic lessons."

"Let?"

"Don't make me do that. I will pull rank if I have to. I'd rather ask this of you for a few days, okay? Stop walking the castle at night and sleep."

"I hear you. And I will try to do some resting."

"Chrissy, you've scheduled every single person under you for two days off every tenday, right?"

"Of course."

"When was the last time you took a day off? Josie's was three days ago. Except for this, I was taking today off. Cullen takes days off every seven days. When was yours?"

"I took that trip. That was a day off. I delegated everything."

"And hurt yourself. Doesn't count. Talk's over, Chrissy. I win. Want to really mess with people? We could ruffle our hair, mess up our clothes…"

"No, Sam." He pouted. "You're worse than Eadras, you know."

"He said you weren't listening when he asked you to slow down. You have to listen to me. And if he'd known you were hurt, he'd have grounded you. I've heard him do it before. I don't appreciate being polished off and propped up to Inquisitor at you."

"Fine. I'm going to put frogs in your bed. Actually, I'm going to tell… Nevermind. I'm going to talk to Sera." He paled a bit. "Shall we relieve their minds, Inquisibutt?"

"Of course, Beloved. If you're going to Inquisibutt, I'm going to Beloved."

"It'll make for interesting gossip."

We went back out. Everyone pretended they weren't watching the door, but it was fairly obvious. They were doing the normal Thedas songs, not my songs. Dorian raised a brow. "You, my love," and I pointed at him, "will pay. I am being required to sleep. Either find me a cuddle buddy who will not rub his dangly bits on me without permission, or you and Elias are having company. Or find a way to magic me to sleep that will still let me wake up if necessary."

Solas raised a brow. I looked at him and said, "You better not ask. I've answered a lot of personal questions recently."

"I've not heard you answer a single one."

"Are you claiming that an integral part of my being isn't personal, Solas?"

"An integral part of your being? You may have a point. A small one. One of these days we just might exchange question for question." He was looking at me strangely.

Dorian piped up. "Elias and I are not an every night sort of situation, Dove. Your bed or mine?" I pointed back at my room. He looked at Solas. "I sleep with her, by her choice and mine."

Solas responded, "I know. I just don't know why."

"Because she's warm."

"I see."

I looked at him. "I doubt it, but I think you'll figure it out eventually. I'm told you're smart." And I smiled.

"It'd be easier if you would share your reasoning."

"A question for a question?"

"Not today, Da'asha." I smirked at him. He was no readier to answer personal questions than I was.

Inquisibutt chimed in. "That was fascinating. Truly. Chrissy if you need a cuddle buddy, I offer my services."

"Thank you, but I did specify no rubbing of dangly bits, did I not?"

"I can be good!"

"No." That word came from all three of us mages at the same time. Dorian, Solas, and me.

Sam shook his head and said, "Well, I guess that's final. Goodnight, Chrissy. If you need, you can pop up to my room." He turned to walk backwards and waggled his brows. Ugh. But he was kidding around, not serious. I think.

I tucked the littles into bed, said goodnight to Eadras and the others, and went to my room. Dorian showed up a moment or two later. I'm writing this while he enjoys my private bath, and we're heading for bed.


	27. Day 24, 28 Cloudreach, 9:41

Skyhold, Day 24, 28 Cloudreach, 9:41

I woke up in the middle of the night, but this time, Dorian woke up, too. He convinced me to stay in bed, and after a while, I went back to sleep. When I woke up again, it was late enough to actually get up. Or so I thought. Until I tried to get up again, and Dorian once again stopped me. "What are you going to do so early?" he asked.

"I have to…"

He interrupted. "Ah ah ah. You don't have ANYTHING to do today, Dove. Why don't we sleep in for a change, hmmm? You have no duties at the moment other than keeping my side warm." He wins. I curled my back against his side again, and laid there. Now I know why he was so willing to cuddle. He's keeping me off the ramparts. Eventually, I slept. It was full daylight before he let me out of my own room.

All my people had already eaten and left by the time I got to the dining halls. I'd tried to go to the kitchens, and Mr. Mustachio steered me smoothly elsewhere. "I've never seen the dining hall, Dove. Perhaps a tour?" I didn't even realize he'd done it until we were eating.

At least he left me after that. I went out to the stables and enjoyed an hour with Drummer. It quickly became apparent that while Ethelathe was grateful that I was supposed to take a vacation, they weren't pleased that someone else had ordered me to. So when Gethon was done with me, he told me quietly that everything was ready for Summerday at the stables, and he'd make sure I heard of anything urgent, no matter what the "knob up top" said. And then admonished me to go sit and read or something. I thanked him, asked him not to talk about Sam like that, and went off.

I had to pass through the kitchens. Cook pulled me aside on the pretext of asking me about whether I wanted meals brought to me "during my convalescence". She quietly told me that since I had approved menus through the tenth, everything was fine. She'd let me know if there were any incidents or emergencies. "I can gossip with anyone I want, after all."

By that point, my mood was MUCH brighter. Until I got to my desk. Tried to get to my desk. Damn it. Someone put up a barrier. I ran my hand over it, trying to see if it was a wall or a globe. I was considering LOOKING at it when Solas' voice said "It's a sphere, Da'asha. The most effective way to contain something if you don't want someone getting in, as I am certain you recall." There was way too much smirk in that voice.

"And now I can't work on my novel. I never expected you to try to stifle someone's creativity." Truth, but there's no novel. I've not started it yet, of course. But I couldn't work on it, right?

"I shall be overjoyed to have someone fetch paper and quill for you."

"You're no fun."

"Others might disagree."

"Fine. I'll leave the desk alone. That paperwork may be time-sensitive, though. I should take it to Josie." I knew he'd prevent that, too, but I felt the need to poke at him.

"She will ask for anything she needs. The pillow in your chair matches your eyes."

"Leorah likes that color around me."

"It's an unusual shade."

"Your point?" I turned around to look at him.

"What question would you ask? In return for a single question from me, regarding your eyes. Both honestly answered."

"Both questions on the table before we agree to answer them?"

"Precisely."

I had to think of something non-threatening, but personal. Lovely. "I'd want to know what color the hair on your head is or would be or was if allowed to grow naturally."

"I wish to know if you have your mother's eyes." I have a feeling he matched the perceived intrusiveness of his question to mine.

"I could answer that one."

"My hair is a reddish brown when I allow it to grow naturally. More red than brown."

"My mother has eyes just like mine. Or I have eyes just like hers, depending on perspective."

He tilted his head slightly, his eyes narrowing thoughtfully for a moment. Then he turned and strode away. "You wouldn't be able to remove that without time and effort. It would hurt you, extending your recovery, and therefore your vacation. Please leave it be. Enjoy your morning, Keeper of Skyhold." Asshole. But we each gained at least two pieces of information. I know he shaves or otherwise depilates his red hair, and he knows that my living mother has passed her eye color to me.

I went to the cloth room. Leorah wasn't as soft a touch as Gethon or Cook, but I came away with yarn. No promises to share issues there. I didn't bother trying most of the workplaces. Harritt and Feren told me I should listen to Inquisibutt, but Feren whispered that he'd make sure the Uncles were safe for me. He promised to let me come sit on them if they hurt themselves.

Then I realized that there was at least one person among all the people I knew who probably wouldn't feel the need to coddle. Sera. She'd have something fun to do. I went up to her door, grateful that Bull wasn't out in the common room. I knocked. "Sera? Do you hate me yet?"

The door opened. "Why would I hate you?"

"I didn't really think you would, but it was a fun way to get the door open."

"Heard you're a weirdie. More weirdie. Whatever." She opened the door and gestured me in.

"That's what they tell me. I'm supposed to 'find a mentor' or Inquisibutt is going to cage me up with Fiona."

"Easy then, find a mentor, right? I mean, there's other mage people around. That way, you won't muck it up. Never seen you do anything magicky, anyway."

"Never thrown fire in my life, never touched a mage staff."

She giggle-snorted. "Nobody wants to touch a mage staff. What if it shoots fire or something?"

I had to laugh at that one, too. "Better than lightning. Oh, the sheets! But Ice could be fun."

"Ugh. Not thinking of that."

"I thought you'd be upset I was a mage."

"You stand between, yeah? Not going to forget. Just don't magic me, and you won't find an arrow up your arse."

"Never." I flopped on her window seat. "I've been put on vacation, Sera. I thought you might know something fun to do."

"Well, I do, but…"

"But what? Crap. He got to you, too?"

"Nobody got to me. I've just got… things."

"Things. And they'll take until after Summerday, I'm sure." I sighed.

"I can have things. Important things."

"Who?"

"Nobody. I'm not telling."

"Damn. I warned Inquisibutt I was going to talk to you. He's probably expecting it, anyway."

"The Inquisitor?"

"Yeah. Thought it might be fun to find some frogs or something, maybe put a few in his bed?"

"He's not on the list."

"What list?"

"Where would we get frogs?"

"I know where we could get a custard pie. We could put that in his bed. At the bottom, so he sticks his toes in it." That made her giggle. "But you have things. Important things. I wouldn't want to distract you."

"Pffft. Let's put his toes in custard."

"Score! Let's go."

Cook was all for it, and donated a half a bowl of custard, no pie required. Sam was out with the soldiers, so I grabbed a handful of towels from my room.

"What's that for?"

"Servants are invisible. Let's just go change the towels." I slipped the bowl in the towels. We got the caper done, and I brought towels and bowl back down. I'd shaken them out so they looked used. Sera was quite artful with the custard, spreading it over the entire bottom portion of the bed before pulling up the sheets and furs. We put our tools back where we got them, and split up, pleased with each other.

Well, that occupied an hour. It was lunchtime. I accosted Philomena and Marta. They were still doing running, but for Eustace now instead of the healers. They brought me up to date on the gossip. I told them that Zathras was buying me dinner in the tavern at dusk. You've have thought I said the sun was blue or something. Apparently they knew Zathras, and he was considered eminently available. Hadn't responded to Jailyn's encouragement, so they'd assumed he wasn't interested. Sorry, Zathras. I told them it wasn't that kind of dinner, and that he was definitely not taken. Yet.

Went to see Andrew. He said he'd been told that I was coming by messenger, and asked to let Josie know if I didn't show up today. Sam apparently doesn't understand that I keep my word yet. He'll learn. Anyway, Andrew and I chatted a bit in private about the idea of combining skills, first. He'll be willing to teach a bit and learn a bit, and so will I. However, he insists that I find a real mage to instruct me as well. He says I wouldn't like his suggestions, and liked the idea of me learning some Templar-style skills first.

He did whatever HE does to look at the glowy dust stuff, and he told me that he wasn't going to get started today. I "wasn't right yet", and needed to heal more. I felt something when he looked, but it didn't hurt like the tugging. He can't describe what he means, but I think I get it. It's like my thread connections, but with touching. If I touch my threads, I know whether someone is feeling well or angry or something. He doesn't see threads, but it's similar, and requires skin contact.

I browsed the lower library, and most of the books it looks like I could puzzle out. About half are in English/trade/whatever, and more are in some form of latin-derived language. A few in actual latin, from what I can tell, and yet more in various versions of squiggle. I picked up one in English, about Elvish customs.

Dinner in the tavern was fun. Zathras chatted about the antics of his friends, and we avoided every uncomfortable topic. Krem did come by the table and warn Zath not to tire me out. Cabot wouldn't serve me ale, so I got fruit juice. He wouldn't serve me tea, either. Not even an hour or two past dusk, Bull told me I was missing song time, and I should probably get going soon. He SAT DOWN AT THE TABLE, and asked Zath how he knew me. The only way I was able to stop the interrogation was by saying my goodbyes and asking Zath to walk me home. Which was probably Bull's goal.

I missed about half of singalong time. Dorian hadn't shown up by the time I'd tucked everyone in bed. I decided to just settle in to read. I finished only about a chapter. (It took a while to read, because it was in very archaic language. It was a treatise on the societal rules of city elves. Fascinating, actually.) He's watching me write, now, though. Apparently someone had put custard in Inquisibabe's bed, and when he and his ladybird were at an interesting stage of developments, they ended up covered in it from the knees down. Who might have done that?


	28. Day 25, 29 Cloudreach, 9:41

Skyhold, Day 25, 29 Cloudreach, 9:41

Actually slept the whole night, with only one small wakeup. Dreams are normal. No demons. I have a feeling that's because of Tarasyl'an Te'las and the magic that seeps from the stones here, more than anything else. Managed to slip away from Dorian without waking him.

I actually did feel better today. Less something. Stretched? Maybe I feel that way to others, too. At least those with which I have these connections. It could explain why Dorian stayed asleep when he was up every second breath last night. I kind of hope they aren't feeling how I felt.

I wonder how much of the interactions I have with my people might be informed by the emotional connection? Could they feel my worry yesterday, and that's why some of them offered to keep me informed? And by the time I'd gotten to Leorah, I wasn't as concerned anymore, because Gethon and Cook had reassured me? Something to think about. I really don't want to emotionally manipulate people. I needed to ask someone about my threads, but the only person I really see that has used tethers close to this is Solas. Even Andrew's similar skill required physical contact.

I snuck out while I had the chance, asking Cook to send Dorian's tray to my room. It was still very early, so I played in her kitchen a little bit. Biscuit making is soothing. I left while the biscuits were cooking, shooed out. Cook said she could handle taking biscuits out of an oven.

I thought a bit on how to stay in my "rules" and still annoy the hell out of the people trying to cage me. Inquisibabe said be seen. Well, I could certainly do that. I hadn't intended on visiting the downstairs camp before now, but since I had nothing to do… I went to Elias, and told him I wanted to take a walk. He grumbled something about way too early. I just agreed with him and told him it wasn't a big deal. I'd just go by myself.

I counted in my head. One, two, three, and he's wide awake. "Where's Dorian?"

"What do you mean? Probably still asleep."

"You managed to slip out past him? Damn." Now I have them doing it. Fewer Maker's breaths and more damn its. "How'd you manage that in the same bed?"

"Got up?"

"He's going to be upset if he wakes up and you're gone." He pulled on a tunic, snagged his blades, and grabbed my wrist. "Let's go." Dorian was still asleep when we got back to my room. Elias loudly called out, "Hey, Dorian, I thought you had the night shift."

"Shift?" I asked as Dorian groaned and opened one eye, focusing on Elias.

"I did. She's a grown woman," he mumbled.

"What do you mean shift?"

Elias shushed me, calling me Da'len.

I yanked my arm free of him. "Don't do that. I am not a child."

"Dove, he was just worried."

"Yeah, well I was being nice and letting him know that I wanted to go somewhere, and he repays me by grinding my wrist bones, dragging me about, calling me a child, and yelling at my friend. You'll excuse my irritation, I'm sure."

"I'm sorry Chrissy, but when you showed up unattended, after"

Dorian interrupted. "I'd promised that I wouldn't leave your side. He has cause to be unhappy with me."

"I see cause to be unhappy with him, as well."

Elias touched my shoulder. "I'm sorry I grabbed at you and called you a child, Chrissy. I wasn't thinking."

"I forgive you, easily and readily, Elias. But why do you speak of shifts?"

"We're tasked with your safety. Dorian's presence prevents you having guards at your door. There have been letters, among other things."

"Cullen's man dumped someone over a wall recently."

"Yes. There have been other incidents, too."

"I don't remember any others."

"A pitcher of water delivered to your desk, without you asking. We confiscated it, and Adan said it was infused with poison. An arrow sent toward the wrong elf. A set of your clothing left at the laundry was slashed with a knife. Leorah replaced it before you noticed."

"Someone got shot with an arrow?"

"That would be the one you focus on. No, the archer missed. Feel better, because you have vastly fewer threats than the Inquisitor. He doesn't realize he is under guard, either, but at least he can fight. You." He shook his head. "You can't even hold a butter knife."

"That doesn't make me feel better. I've been running around Skyhold scaring the pants off everyone without even meaning to, haven't I. And I can so hold a butter knife."

"We're just worried."

"Scaring the pants off? That's an interesting phrase." Trust Dorian to catch that one.

"You're changing the subject." I didn't want to go down to the lower camp anymore, though.

"Yes. I'm laying here in bed, and Elias has barely glanced at my chest once. I'm crushed."

"I looked and admired, Dorian. I'm just not obvious. You already know you're pretty. Don't be conceited."

"Not in my bed, Dorian. Go back to your own for that."

"My bed is COLD, my dove. And tell him I've every right to be conceited. Have you looked at me?"

"Of course, but we're too much alike."

"Too much alike?"

"We both like men. I had hoped you'd join me in watching the soldiers today. I find myself bored and in need of entertainment. Staycations suck."

"Staycations?" Oops.

"When you're supposed to go on vacation but have to stay at home."

"I see."

There was knock at the door. Elias and Dorian both tensed up, and Elias answered. It was just Dorian's breakfast. Sheesh. Men. Cook had put an extra biscuit on the tray. For me. At least that's what I told them. "That one's for me." Wasn't a lie. I had a friend teach me how to make biscuits a few years back, and they're amazing. I claimed that biscuit because I hadn't gotten one and I made them. So there.

Anyway, I was not near so interested in bucking authority after being informed. I flat out asked Elias if he thought it might be easier to convince me to do things if I was fully informed. It had never occurred to them to just TELL me what was going on. I was "busy" with other things. "Let me give you a very recent example, Elias. When I woke you this morning, it was with the intention of meeting the elves in the lower camp. Now that I know what you've been keeping from me, I am planning to stay within the walls." His eyes were shocked at the first statement, and thoughtful at the second.

"See? The apparently headstrong female can be reasoned with. IF you bother to try." I was speaking to both of them on that point. And then I excused myself. I had a date with a drummer. I got to set up Drummer's tack for the first time. It was different than a horse's tack. The girth straps narrower, not one designed to snug up, but two designed to go above and below the stomach. Interesting. The rest of it was basically similar, with some unfamiliar shaping. And it turns out Drummer LOVES getting his horns rubbed. I didn't realize horns had feeling in them. I thought they were dead bone, but apparently not. Or maybe it's seasonal, or they're growing or something.

I meandered down to watch the men for a while, but the clanging metal wasn't very exciting today. I much prefer grappling practice. I went back to my area, spending a few moments chatting with Varric on the way. I double-checked the edges of the sphere around my desk, because I had to. Then I noticed the back of my chair stuck out of the sphere. I could move the chair in and out freely by holding the portion outside the bubble. Oh ho! The material of my tunic also went through the sphere. It kept out only biologics. Or only my particular biologics, perhaps.

Well, I'm a bitch sometimes. So I traipsed my happy butt over to the laundry, and asked for a rug beater. I promised I wasn't going to do any work with it at all. And I wasn't going to. Then I went to Cook and asked to borrow her peel (the tool to move bread around in the back of the oven). Using the two tools, I transferred all my paperwork and my abacus out of the sphere. For shits and giggles, I cleared everything else off my desk, too. I stashed it all in my sitting area.

I returned the tools, and then opened my SELF to look at the sphere. It didn't cause me to hurt. I had no intention of hurting myself to do this. I didn't want to mess with the sphere, either, but I was betting that Someone was monitoring it. The sphere was a rainbow-like formation, sort of like a soap bubble in sunlight. It was the most delicate thing I'd SEEN with my SELF. Beautiful, really. I was going to have to ask about it after he got here. For now, I just wanted to play.

I took my SELF and swirled a finger on the bubble. At my TOUCH, it started to subtly glow. Ah. There was something to tell him if I messed with it. I wrote "You missed a step." in the glowy dust, on the sphere. Then I went to my room, shut down my SELF, and waited next to the piles of paperwork I'd promised not to read. (And I didn't, mind you.) He showed up in the main area not even two minutes after I'd sat down. I'm glad I left the door slightly open, because the sound of elven cursing is quite gratifying.

He showed up at my door rather quickly, and just pushed it open, leaning against the jam. "What did I miss?"

"Mammals can use tools."

"You shouldn't have been able to get close enough."

"I know about the tools of the commoner. The rug beater, and the bread peel."

"What, precisely, is a bread peel?"

"A long handled flat piece of wood used to remove bread from the back of the oven."

"I see. You've had your fun, Da'asha. You made a promise."

"And I've not broken it. I have not read even one word of all that paperwork."

"You are bored."

"Yup."

"So you bothered me."

"No. I merely played with something left in my space. Bothering you was a bonus. You're the reason I'm bored. By the way, that sphere is beautiful. Does it stop all biologics or just me?"

"It should stop all living things."

"Spirits, too?"

He stood upright. "Probably. If they believe they are living beings."

"Were you busy?"

"No. I was waiting for you to get bored. I didn't expect to find that the mouse had already ran off with the cheese, however."

"Want to help me put all this back?"

"Just like that? You aren't going to protest that you shouldn't be restricted from your own desk?"

"I'm more interested in how to create that soap bubble, to protect my desk when I'm not around. Sometimes sensitive information passes through. I'd make it large enough to encompass the ENTIRE chair, though, so I don't give away clues."

"It is not a soap bubble." But he filed the tidbit about the chair away. You could see it.

"It looks like a soap bubble."

"I am willing to teach you how to create that barrier, but the process is neither quick nor simple. You would be required to learn the beginning steps first, to my satisfaction. That means mastering boring steps that aren't pretty. Doing things in the proper order. I'll expect you to be able to explain each intermediate step. And we wouldn't start until I was completely sure you were undamaged."

"Fair enough. I would not be available daily, or potentially more than weekly, because I'll be taking other lessons from other people."

"You are planning to piecemeal your magic training?" His surprise was palpable. Did he think I was offering an apprentice on a silver platter? I don't think so.

"Yes. You can't teach me what Dorian could, nor even what Adan or Andrew could, with the same ability. I intend not only to utilize different minds, but to ask the exact same question of different individuals to compare the answers. Not all of those individuals will be mages. If everyone takes the tack you have, I will acquire the basics as I go. I will not apprentice myself to any one person. I refuse to be part of that kind of power imbalance. I'd rather blunder along on my own."

"Power imbalance?"

"I can't do what I have to do if I'm perceived as subordinate to any one person. My opinions, expressions, and decisions would be perceived as coming from that individual, and dilute my efficiency greatly. Consulting, however, I can do. Do you object?"

"Once again, you surprise me. Your grasp of power dynamics is unusual in one as young as you are."

"You make the same mistake The Iron Bull did. Interesting, actually, how similarly your minds work."

"The Iron Bull?"

"Nevermind. I should probably go get lunch before the girls worry."

"What about your paperwork?"

"I can't put it back without either your help or removing the sphere. Since I ache still, just a touch, I won't be messing with it further."

"I will remove the spell so we can return the paperwork, but then I'll be putting it back. Including around the entire chair." He was smiling, just a hint, as he said it. He also actually helped. I then went over to the dining hall, saying farewell.

Andrew and Solas. Now to finagle Dorian, Adan, Renee, and Helisma. And Dagna, of course. And just to round it all off, Cole. If Inquisibabe wants me to learn magic, I'm going to do it my way. I'll have to talk to Harritt about a staff and how and why they work, as well.

Coming out of the kitchen exit after lunch, I felt Cole. "Hello."

"You always feel me."

"You always say that."

"You confuse him."

"I intend to. I'm safer that way."

"Yes."

"To me being safer or to what I was about to ask?"

"I'll help you."

"Thanks."

"Why Helisma?"

"Because I'm betting she's one of the smartest people I'll find in Thedas."

"Her song is silent."

"For now. That will be her choice. Eventually, I hope, at least."

"You think she's yours!"

"Unless she says otherwise."

"I don't know. She's hard to see, and I can't hear her."

"Then I will treat her as mine."

"You know."

"Yes. But why do they resonate with the shards?"

"He makes the shards real. Pulling and twisting, sighting one severed path with two severed paths. In then out then in."

"That makes more sense than I expected."

"You listen. You're welcome." I hugged him.

The rest of the day was boring, really. I read in the sun. Did the dinner thing with Ethelathe. Checked on a few people, just to say hello. Played with the littles. Songtime. Zathras came down for that, actually. Then I tucked in my kids and said goodnight.


	29. Day 26, 30 Cloudreach, 9:41

Skyhold, Day 26, 30 Cloudreach, 9:41

I awoke to Dorian having nightmares again. Maybe it's not just for my sake he chooses to share a bed. I woke him, and he curled into a ball on his side. From the bathroom I got a wet washcloth, because the man was soaked and shaking, and had sweat the sheets through as well. I warmed it just a bit, and warmed the room, because despite the sweat, his skin was icy. I wiped the back of his neck and his shoulders.

"Do you want to talk?"

"No."

"Would it help?"

"It feels like something's coming. It's approaching. I don't know what." I almost dropped the washcloth.

"Dorian, are you heading out with Sam after Summerday?"

"The Inquisitor asked me, yes."

"Hmmm. And did he say where you were going?" I wiped his face.

He looked at me. "Hinterlands, Redcliffe, Crestwood."

"You come back to us safely, okay? Some of us love you for who you are, no strings attached. I shall be quite cross if I have to search the fade for your shade in order to kick your ass."

"I don't doubt you would do exactly that, my dove."

"Let's get fresh sheets on this bed, unless we are done sleeping for the night?"

"Why do your words sound heavy, like they have portent."

"I've never weighed my words. I don't know if some are heavier than others."

"Solas is right, you are evasive. You sounded like Cole, just now."

"Cole doesn't evade. We just don't understand him sometimes. Who else is going?"

"Varric, Bull, Sera, Blackwall, Vivienne."

"Talk to The Iron Bull if you need someone. He'll listen, and probably know what to do. We can trust him that far right now."

"What do you mean?"

"That decision hasn't been made, love. I don't know yet."

"I forgot. I'm sorry."

"When you get back, would you teach me the housekeeping spells?"

"Housekeeping?"

"Like what you did with the papers. The how, the why, and all that for those sorts of every day things."

"I will attempt to teach you anything you like. We'd have to start at basics, Dove. Every step must be… Why are you smiling like that?"

"Because I've heard this lecture. Every step must be mastered to your satisfaction. I must understand and be able to explain in satisfactory fashion all the intermediary steps. It won't be overly fun or pretty or exciting. You and Solas are twin princes. Now if you will remove yourself from my bed temporarily, and let me take care of the sheets, I'd be delighted." I handed him the washcloth, and stripped the bed, changing the sheets with the spare kept in the bathroom.

"I'm not sure I appreciate being called a twin prince."

"Don't wish to share the attention, Peacock?"

"I wondered if you'd do that. I couldn't be sure if you knew."

"How could I not? I was just being polite. But I thought it might make you smile, especially when you are looking comparatively terrible. I thought it fitting when you call me Dove."

"At the Temple, you called me Dorian Gray. It stuck in my head. Then as we were putting Skyhold together, a pretty turtledove roosted on the tent above your head. It was a lovely shade of bluish gray. After that, I associated you with doves. It seemed to fit. Dorian and his gray dove."

I finished making the bed again. "Are we waking or sleeping?"

"Perhaps we could both prowl the battlements tonight. I won't be able to sleep yet."

"Of course." So we prowled the battlements as he suggested. After an hour of pacing and talking about inconsequential things, I got us back to bed.

The second waking, at a decent time of the morning, was better. I dragged Dorian to the tavern, cancelling our breakfast with Cook along the way. The Chargers weren't about, but Bull was.

"Dorian, have you officially met The Iron Bull?"

"I have. We were all introduced to each other."

"Excellent." I dragged him over to sit at Bull's table. "Heya, The Iron Bull."

"Not mad at me, Chrissy?"

"No. If I'm not going to be mad at Dorian, I have no business being mad at you. How have you been?"

He eyed me. "You're acting weird. You want something."

"Yes, actually. I've got a bad feeling again. I don't know anything for sure, but I thought I might ask something of you."

"What is it?"

"Do you mind if I ask you in private?"

"Come on."

"Be right back, Dorian. Sing out if our food is ready." Bull led me over to his area, where his people gather. Lisa smiled at me, and I smiled back. A few others made friendly gestures, which I also returned.

"Alright, Chrissy. Out with it."

"I think Dorian's going to need a friend after you guys hit Redcliffe. I don't know for sure, but I have this feeling."

"Like your feeling about Haven?"

"Not exactly like that. This would be far more personal. I don't think there's any bloodshed. Heart wounds, soul wounds. And I can't be there."

"I see. That's what you wanted? That's all?"

I looked at him. I had no idea what he was on about. "Yes. Did I drop a thread somewhere? I did something to offend, didn't I. I'm so sorry. Just tell me what…"

"That's not it. I guess I should have expected you only to come if someone needed you."

"I'm not visiting enough? I've been taking it slow. Lisa's gradually becoming used to me, and even Dalish isn't scowling at me so much. I just stop in and say hello on my rounds. Usually you're *ahem* otherwise occupied when I drop by. Should I interrupt?"

"So that's why. I figured you were avoiding me, and then with that Zathras kid, you might have gotten upset. You'll break that one, you know."

"Yeah, but he'd like it."

"Would you?"

"So will you look after Dorian for me?"

"His mental well-being will be important for the mission's success. I would have done it anyway. But I'll do it for you, too."

"Thanks, The Iron Bull." I hugged him and went back to Dorian.

"What was that about?"

"The trip. I needed to tell more than just you about my feeling. You're amazing, love, but he hits a lot harder. He'll keep an eye out as well." And we ate.

Since we were decorating the castle today, I may have gotten a little bit of work done. Mostly "move that a little to the left" and the like. No lifting, carrying, or otherwise laboring. I picked up one garland of flowers. (Imported flowers, because we hadn't gotten any frickin' rain, despite the clouds.) And probably twenty voices yelled at me. Grr.

After lunch, I decided to brave the wolf in his den. I really needed to ask about the weather and that spell. He was where I expected him to be. It seemed odd to be seeking him out. I think it was the second time other than my apology. I leaned against the wall. He gets this intensity when he's studying, more than when he's reading. "I see you there."

"I'm glad your eyes work?"

"You want to know about that spell."

"That's one of the two reasons I'm here, yes."

"I'd expected you to bother me about it."

"Why? You said you would look into it. I believed you. Interrupting you would only extend the timeframe it took to do so."

"Interesting. That you'd trust that far."

"In those matters, I have trust, yes. You wouldn't pervert the craft."

"What's the other reason?"

"Does it ever precipitate here? In the month we've been here, there's been not a drop of rain, sleet, snow, or hail. The farmers have to irrigate exclusively, which limits production."

"That sounds like work."

That earned him a glare. "I'm just asking about the weather."

"It precipitates."

"It's not going to do so tomorrow, I hope."

"I don't imagine so. Why are you talking to me about this?"

"Because I'm not completely stupid. You're the one who likes old ruins, after all. And you led us here."

"History will say the Herald of Andraste led us here."

"Yeah, well, history is written by the winning side, in such a way as to support their causes and beliefs. I should go. Thank you for your answers."

"You don't want to know about the spell?"

"I can't do the spell. Perhaps you can, if you've found one, but I can't take a chance on doing something new right now."

"May I look?"

"At least this time you ask. Yes. But leave my threads alone. I'm not going to discuss those with you."

I felt that cooling blue over the achy place. "You said you sprained it?"

"That's the best way I could describe it. Talking the obsidian into moving up was not so easy, I guess." He looked at me oddly. "What?"

"I have the spell you requested. You could handle the complexity, I believe, but it would hurt you. I will keep an eye out, if you wish. Your connection to the fade was strained or stretched. Bent oddly, is how I would put it. It is healing, nearly healed." He was still looking at me oddly.

"Do I have something on my face?"

"You are not what I expected."

"Pffft. No one is ever what someone else expects. If they are, they're lying to you."

"How very wise."

I watched his eyes. Something was off. "Just the way things are." I took a deep breath. "I am a sociable creature, Solas. I still do not trust you in most matters."

"And it is on those matters where I am not what you expected that you trust?"

"Not necessarily. It is on those matters I watch, and then decide."

"Da'asha."

"Yes?"

"What are you going to do when Dorian is gone?"

"Haunt the battlements, I suppose."

"I could help."

"I don't trust you in the fade." My voice may have been a little flat.

"Let me know if you change your mind. You are safe from me, whatever you think."

"I think that you are the most dangerous person in Skyhold, because you are a dreamwalker among other reasons, and have fooled them all into thinking you are mild-mannered and meek. None of us is safe from you unless you wish it. One doesn't have to be a mage to succumb to demons, and some people just never wake up."

He didn't argue that. "For now, at least, I have no interest in opposing you in any way."

"I hear your words. I do, truly."

He sighed and shook his head. "Have a good evening, Chrysopal. Keeper of Skyhold."

"I don't hate you. I don't even dislike you. You are just different from the others."

"At least there is that." He looked unhappy for a moment before his face smoothed.

I sighed on the inside. I didn't like making him unhappy. "It's not hug day, but I could make an exception."

"It should have been two days ago."

I was surprised. "You were keeping track?" He shrugged. I walked up to him. "Would you like a hug, Solas?"

He slid his arms around my shoulders and carefully tightened, not too much. I reached around his waist. "You have no idea what you might represent. To everyone you are something different," he rumbled under my ear. "I've not seen a mage do things the way you do in a long time."

"I'm just me."

"That's what Cole says, too. You're just you." As soon as I made a slight movement away, he released me.

"Good evening." And I left.

Dinner, Singalong. I brought out Once Upon a December again. It's a lovely song, and it resonates with the adults. Things they can almost remember haunt them. Tomorrow is Summerday. You know, Solas is confusing as hell, but I'm starting to think he's lonely. He's the only really real person around, to his mind, and he's walking through a world of shadows. And he's got me melancholy. I tucked in the Tweedles, Laura, and Daniel. Stephen is officially moved to the barracks, because he wants to be and convinced enough soldiers. He's happy to be a page. They'll pry Daniel from my cold, dead hands. The Tweedles, too. I bid everyone goodnight, as usual, and Dorian met me at my room.


	30. Day 27, Summerday, 9:41

Skyhold, Day 27, Summerday, 9:41

I couldn't get to sleep last night. After a long time of tossing and turning, Dorian created a dim ball of light. "Chrissy, you are interfering with my beauty rest. What would make you settle, Dove?"

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be sorry. Talk to me."

"Remember when I told you about the visions, where the actions of a select few have branches and consequences?"

"I'm not so old I can't remember something less than a month ago."

"What do you do when you suspect, but don't know, that someone may have made a decision that could hurt someone else? But it could be a good thing, sort of? And if you tell that someone else what might have been done, and it hasn't been done, it would potentially hurt more? And you know everyone comes out alive and relatively well no matter what?"

"You don't ask the easy ones, do you?" He laid back for a while, thinking. I thought he'd gone back to sleep, he'd been still and silent so long. "Dove, I think I know what you have to do."

"Then please tell me."

The ball of light went out. He pulled me over to his side, and said, "I think you tell them that some people love them no matter what. No strings attached. Goodnight, my dear." Thank God the man is smart. It relieved my mind enough for me to sleep.

It was eerie in the morning. I was used to waking up hearing hustle and bustle, even when I got up early. Even Cook and the girls slept late, for them. Most of the baking and such had been done over the last few days, of course, so there wasn't a whole lot to do. The usual noises of the soldiers were missing as I moved out into the courtyard. Up on the battlements, I was joined by none other than Inquisibabe.

"I thought you were avoiding me, Sam."

"I was, honestly. You're a scary lady, Chrissy, and I figured you'd be mad at me."

"Why? You were right, really. I tend not to lay down tasks as I get new ones. And I'd not been sleeping."

"You're that attached to Dorian?"

"It's not him, per se. I have trouble sleeping alone, sometimes."

"You are used to sleeping next to someone." He's intelligent enough, I'll grant him that.

"I used to cuddle nightly with someone until I lost her."

"To the breach."

"That's probably the best way to put it."

"A lover? Is that why you reject me so often?"

"No, Sam. I reject you because you remind me more of an adorable puppy than a lover. And it was not a lover."

"So who was it?" His bright happy question struck me wrong, so I turned it on him.

"Who'd you lose to the breach, Sam?" My tone wasn't nearly as bright as his, and the technique would have stopped most people in their tracks.

"Some cousins, rather distant, actually. Who was it, Chrissy?"

"I really don't want to talk about it, Sam."

"Mistress Chrysopal. You _will_ tell me. Who was it?" He got THAT TONE in his voice. Damn the man for pulling rank. Lord of the Castle wins. Stand-in lord. Whatever. HMFIC (Head Mother Fucker In Charge). Asshole.

I took a deep breath. "The breach stole my daughter from me, Inquisitor. Or me from her. It's hard to know."

"By the Maker! I'm so sorry. I didn't know. I'm sorry. Maker's breath, Chrissy, I had no idea you had children." It's easy to apologize once you've forced a result you don't like. He tried to put an arm around me, but I stepped back.

"I don't. Not anymore. You are forgiven, of course. I wish you Joy, Inquisitor." I gave him the phrase I'd been told was traditional as I curtsied and got out of there. I heard him cursing quietly behind me, but I really didn't care. I went right back to my room and shut myself in the bathroom before the tears fell. I know he wasn't trying to hurt me. Really. But sometimes that doesn't matter.

I'd been in there not ten minutes when I realized that I had to shut it down. I couldn't do this until I knew how to restrict what my threads felt, and I couldn't ruin their holiday. I couldn't do that to them. I mentally shut the door on those particular feelings, getting myself under control. Checking on Ethelathe, I was grateful to discover that most of them had been asleep. However, he'd stripped a lot of the anticipation of the day I'd had, and I couldn't get it back.

I put cold water on my face and scrubbed my skin hopefully until my entire face was red instead of just my eyes. I've never been able to cry pretty. I pasted a smile on my face and opened the door. To Dorian standing there. He tipped my chin up and searched my face, and said "It might work. Who did it, Chrissy?"

"Don't worry about it, love. It wasn't intentional."

"I've only seen you cry twice, Chrissy, and it was heartbreak pain. I'll ask the Inquisitor to find out who made you cry this time, if I have to."

"Go ahead. I won't tell him either. It's my own fault. I let too much information out, and someone yanked the thread. I've learned my lesson, and I will keep myself a little closer, now. Can we just enjoy a nice holiday? I'm going to miss you when you're gone. You never yank at me."

"Let's get breakfast, Dove. Do you intend to attend the services?" That got a bark of a laugh. "Somehow I didn't think so. I'm assuming you don't follow the Dalish deities, either?"

We'd reached the dining hall. It was laid out with foods that don't spoil very easily, bread and fruit and so on. It was a continental breakfast at the Marriott, really. We filled our plates, and I continued the conversation. "I have my own beliefs, but they're not Dalish. Certainly not Dalish."

"Well, despite my dissolute ways, I will be attending. You could always keep me company."

"Somehow I doubt there will be many non-humans in the Chantry, Dorian. We're not generally made to feel welcome. I even get chased out of my own garden on occasion."

"I had forgotten, actually. It wasn't well done of me. You're right. The other peoples are often left out of Chantry doings."

"Well, darling, you enjoy your boring church services, and I'm going to play outside. I promise to stay in the walls." I kissed his cheek and moved off. I woke the Tweedles. I needed cuddles and fun, and they're the best at that. We got them and Daniel breakfast, and we played and sang outside for a bit. Others had joined us, each enjoying their own morning. Eadras and Cara spent the whole morning with us, which was nice. I'd not spent much time with them since the glowing incident. It was a good morning to reconnect with my original people, when even _our_ humans were off.

It seemed an appropriate time to introduce the song "It's a Wonderful World". It's so full of hope. It's supposed to be a joyful day. That song, to me, is joyful, in the best way. They always pay attention when I sing something they don't know. It was no surprise when they were humming it later.

The afternoon was more structured. We'd arranged for something similar to a maypole, but it wasn't danced around. The ribbons just waved in the wind. Maybe next year I'll add that one. There were no children coming of age, but there were several marriages.

Cakes and feast foods aplenty. I took my turn delivering to the buffets, over Cook's objections. For all her bluster, she's really an introvert. She tried to stay in the kitchens all day. We dragged her out for an hour to socialize with us, but then we let her back into her domain. I understand that sort of mentality.

I got to witness Blackwall trying to comb flower petals out of his beard. A young lady had dumped a bucket of them over his head. Seggrit danced only with Mika. As much of a declaration as he could give. I hope she understood. I danced with Adan and Harritt. None of the elven dances here. Just the human ones. We really were left out of things. Zathras brought me a goblet of wine, and we drank together before he pulled me into the dances as well.

Later in the evening, Varric came up and handed me five sovereigns. "Remind me never to bet against you."

"I only bet on sure things."

"It's a good thing I had that next installment nearly done. I was able to bind it overnight and hand it off. Once again, you know things. She seems so buttoned up."

"It's the buttoned up ones that have lacy underwear. Here's a contrast. Vivienne, who displays her femininity and uses it as a weapon, is not a romantic. She can love, of course, and she has feelings, but her femininity is a tool, honed to a razor sharp point. Cassandra is outwardly a weapon. She's straight, to the point. Doesn't hint about things. But I bet she either wears lacy underwear or goes commando."

"Commando?"

"Sorry. When someone refrains from wearing underthings at all."

"You think the Seeker goes commando?"

"And I bet she wears frilly nightclothes."

"No bet. But it's an interesting picture."

"If you tell her I said anything I'll shave your chest, Storyteller."

"Now, that hurts. I'd never do anything of the sort. And here comes our fearless leader, looking for a dance. Have fun, Cuddles."

I couldn't refuse the Inquisitor in front of everyone, so we ended up dancing. At the end of the set, he pulled me aside. "I really am sorry, Chrissy. You can call me Inquisibutt all year long for that."

"I will. It wasn't nice of you to use your Inquisitorial authority to do that."

"I get that. Cole, of all people, chewed me out."

"He's a sweet boy."

"If you ever want to talk?"

"I understand."

"So about your mage training? Did you talk to the Templars?"

"Just two. Andrew and Gunther are on board with helping me. Solas has agreed to lessons. Dorian has as well. I talked to Cole in order to get lessons regarding what the fade is and who its denizens are. I'm going to ask Adan for lessons on potion making and the reasons why the potions work the way they do. Helisma will be an excellent resource for discussing the veil in an unemotional fashion. I've not talked to her yet, either. There may be people added or subtracted from that list."

"I thought you'd pick someone and be done."

"I'm sure you did. Have you ever seen me do things that way?"

"No." He reached out his hand to my face, and I dodged it by sitting on one of the benches placed about. "You forgave me."

"Yes."

"You avoid my hand?"

"I really don't want the speculation, Inquisibutt." I gave him a few more minutes of chatting, and left him be. Yes, I was still upset with him. But he'd been insensitive, not malicious.

Dorian and Elias were chuckling quietly together in a corner. I figured they'd be heading off to bed soon. I went off to find others I knew.

Bull was sitting back and watching the dancers. "Having a nice evening?" I asked.

"Fair. Thought you'd be paired off by now. Seems to be what the holiday is for."

"With whom would I pair?"

"There are lots of options. There's that stable lad you see every morning. Zathras. Elias, because he likes everyone. Anybody at the forges. The soldiers. The mages. The Inquisitor."

"Should I just grab one and throw down?"

"Why not?"

"I'm not wired that way."

"Wired?"

"Never mind. My brain works differently. Besides, I did my sleep around days a long time ago. I'm not going to take a chance on hurting Ethelathe by getting too close and personal with one of my people."

"I can see that."

"So why are you still out here, unpaired?"

"I did some pairing already. I'll probably do some more later." That made me laugh.

"See you around, The Iron Bull. Be careful out there. I should be very displeased if you got seriously hurt."

"I'm good, Chrissy."

"So I've heard." He laughed at that one.

I said hello to Lisa and danced a dance with Krem. The rest I waved to and smiled at.

The evening went very well. There were soldiers obviously on duty posted at intervals. Even when I took my turns serving, there weren't any major incidents. Some drunken grabbing, but easily handled. A few rear end pinches, but I bet if these boys knew who I was they'd be horrified. A few fights broke out, but they were among equals. No inappropriate power dynamics. About midnight, I checked on my people to make sure everyone was okay. Thrummed my fingers over the threads. No pain, no real worry, generally happiness. Lots of lust. We'd put the kids in bed earlier, and they were asleep.

One tugged back. As usual. He's smug about something. And just about then, the clouds rolled in and it started to rain. Asshole. He did it again. I know, it's probably unreasonable of me to think that Solas had something to do with the precipitation arriving exactly as the holiday ends. But if it's not him, it's mighty suspicious, don't you think? Considering our little conversation? He probably tweaked something in the environmental spell he has on this place. The one that keeps it warmer than the surrounding mountains. I'm glad I put the guitar away earlier.

I was up on the battlements, and by the time we got most things under cover and handled, I was soaked to the skin. Running around in soaked skirts is NOT fun. The damn things are heavy. At least the food had been under the awnings. And when I looked up, he was standing at the door from the causeway to the atrium, just watching. Ass.

I went to my room, took a bath, and curled up on the settee. Maybe I'll sleep better here.


	31. Day 28, 1 Bloomingtide, 9:41

Skyhold, Day 28, 1 Bloomingtide, 9:41

I hate it when I dream of running. You know you've got to catch whatever's in front of you before whatever is behind you catches you. And you don't know what you're chasing, or what's chasing you. It's worse when you run into someone you really don't want to see in the fade. Literally, actually. I was looking back to see if whatever was catching up, and barreled flat into someone.

I fell down, and the figure staggered, but remained standing. The need to run stopped instantly. Something shut everything off, including the scenery. Grey and bland, blank. Nothing to chase, nothing chasing me. I looked to see what I'd run into, and it was Solas. I scooted back on hands and rear. Never know if it's really him or not. Could be anything. The figure of Solas held up both hands and stepped back. "Go back to your dreams, Da'asha. Don't let it lure you out of them again. Sleep in your bed where you're safe." I woke up. I don't know if it was him or not. Doesn't really matter.

I had slept awkwardly on my settee. Neck crick. Ow. At least there were normal noises this morning. And it was only an hour, max, before daylight. There was something nagging at me, something I needed to do. I'd stood and paced as I rubbed my neck, but it didn't ease. I sat on the bed to think, and it was gone. Weird.

I'm allowed back at work today. First thing in the morning, I thought about things. Inquisibutt was leaving, taking some of mine with him, I thought. I suppose they're his, too. More his than mine, maybe. But considering he's one of mine, I don't know why I was dithering about it. I was still mad at him, probably. Not a lot, but some. It was unfair of me, for he was a product of his training. Actually, I wasn't sure it was today. I'd only been told "after Summerday." Well, I learned the depths of my folly when I started my day, finally leaving my rooms.

I usually head up to the battlements, or something similar. Today it was pouring. Buckets full. When they say raining cats and dogs, I think they were talking about droplets this size. There are occasional bright flashes, but no thunder that I've heard. It's probably drowned out by the pounding rain. A surprising number of people were standing in doorways or looking through windows at the storm.

One thing I was glad to see was that the roof held. As it should. It's new, after all. Even the tower rooms for Bull and Cullen have enough cover, I think, to keep at least their beds dry. They'd both refused to let workers in to fix their roofs. People were going to be cold and wet, and we were going to have to look out for illness. But the crops stand a chance now. Food for the winter contrasted with possibilities of cold and grumpy now? Yeah. Food. Duh.

However, I had to check all the roofs, so that means I got to be one of the poor souls that braved the rain. The cold never bothered me anymore. I was a drenched rat by the time I reached the tavern, but I'd checked the other outbuildings. I'd left it last because I was hoping I could coax a cup of coffee out of the Chargers. I will say, the work held up beautifully. No leaks anywhere. The stables and the farmers' cottages, the armory, the mage building, the storage buildings, the barns. And finally the tavern. I still had the towers to do, but I could get up there through the tavern, after all.

There are more people living in the tavern than I thought. Or more were left over from yesterday, I guess. Place was packed, half of them snoring. Bull worst of all. Lisa was up, though. I carted my drenched self over to her. "I'd hoped to beg a cup of coffee."

"There's always a cup waiting for you." I thought that was a figure of speech. Then she pulled down a blue ceramic mug from a shelf on the wall next to their private cooking hearth. With my name painted on it. Oh my God. My surprise must have shown on my face. "Oh, honey. I never meant to drive you away. We've been trying to figure out how to undo the distance for a while. Even Dalish is sorry."

"You guys still act wary around me."

"That's because we don't want to spook you. That's all, really it is."

"I think I hurt The Iron Bull's feelings, too. He keeps asking me to come by, and then he's not here when I do. This time, he's asleep. Could you make sure he knows I did come by for coffee?"

"Why don't you wake him?"

"I don't want to die today." For some reason that made her laugh. "His fist is bigger than my head. I don't want to take chances."

"He doesn't hit people that wake him up."

"With my luck, I'd be the first. I'm just going to stare forlornly into my mug until coffee magically appears in it while I drip on your floor." That made her laugh, too. And coffee did magically appear shortly thereafter.

I also woke Bull, after she urged me to do so again. I wrung out the end of my tunic near him, then shook my fingers at his face. Out of reach. He opened his eye. "I was already awake."

"Of course. The snoring was just for show, right? I didn't want to leave without saying hello. I don't think you guys will be leaving today, but I could be wrong."

"Probably not. It's possible, though."

"I have to check the towers."

"Why you?"

"Because my standards are likely different in regard to sound roofs than other people's. I would trust it to them, but it could backfire. Anyway, I have to go. See ya around."

"See you."

The towers had also held up pretty well. Considering there are literal holes cut in the ceiling to let the ladders through, they're understandably damp. However, the sleeping arrangements are generally dry. Even Cullen's tower has the hole away from the bed. Although he tried to argue I should not be in his room. I asked him if he had issue with me checking the roof, or if he was afraid I, at half his size and no martial training, was going to attack or molest him. He stammered that he had no issues with my checking the roof while turning red. He had busied himself with paperwork by the time I came back down not even two minutes later, and wouldn't look at me.

I came back over the causeway. I should have realized, but I burst into laughter when I saw the WATERFALL in the atrium. That hole in the roof is three feet wide. People had put up tarps around the railings of the library. It was obvious that the hole had been planned for, though. There was a shallow pool in the center, maybe two or three inches deep, and a sort of divet or trench that led down the hall to the door, where it spilled out underneath.

Indoor waterfall and stream. Since the room is currently unoccupied, maybe I'll bring the Tweedles and Daniel and Laura in here to play. It's probably too cold for the Tweedles, but I could warm it up. Solas had moved all his furniture to the edges of the room, and he wasn't here anyway. I was making those plans as I was stopped by Josie in the main hall.

Apparently my morning is to be filled with interviews. She let me get changed, and I planted my rear at my desk. I don't know how many people I met, but I was authorized to hire "as many as I needed." Leorah, Joan, Cook, Mika, and Jailyn all had sent up personnel requests. Dennett as well. I figured the farmers and herders would need people, too.

One thing I was surprised about. Lots of them lied to me. Badly lied. Making their stories better or worse, lying about their names, their place of origin. By the time I'd gotten ten people into the line, I'd rejected half for the sole reason that they were lying. That wiggle in the fade as they spoke gave it away. The first few I thought might just be worried and covering, but even after being confronted, they doubled down, lying more to cover their first lie. And completely changing the story.

By the time I'd been through the hundred or so applicants, I'd rejected probably thirty off hand. Then I had to figure out where they might actually be of use. I ended up hiring forty-three of the seventy I had not summarily rejected. It didn't actually take too long. I was recovering from dealing with too many strangers when I received a note from Leliana. It requested that I show up to her eyrie as soon as it was convenient.

I went immediately, because this is the Nightingale, and the scariest woman I'd ever seen. She had two issues. One, that I'd failed to hire any of her carefully selected individuals for any job they were obviously qualified for. Two, that I'd told each of them I wouldn't hire them because they were lying to me. I didn't quite understand the issues, actually, so she explained that she really needed these people in place. Not a problem. She should have said so. Then she wanted to know how I knew they were lying. How do you explain that reality shifts sometimes when someone lies? I told her it was just a feeling, like ripples in the fade or something. It was true.

She then looked at my demographics. Apparently I'd hired nearly half elves. Shocker, right? Anyway, she told me that in the general population, elves were nowhere near that high a percentage. I looked her right in the eye and told her that there was no other place in Thedas where an elf could expect to be honestly considered for safe, decent paying work. Could she say the same for all the humans? So if it came to an elf or a human with the same qualifications, I was hiring the elf. She's scary, but this is something I feel passionately about. She SMILED at me after that, and said it was my place to make that decision. She just had to be sure I was making the decision on purpose, instead of accidently. She let me go after that.

After a late lunch, I took the littles down to the waterfall. I WARMED the whole atrium, since the library was blocked off by tarps. We had a blast. As the afternoon progressed, Cara and some messengers and a few other young people joined us. The people changed out regularly. Oddly, all elves except for Daniel and one messenger girl. Good thing the place is bigger than it looks in game. Party in Solas' room! LOL.

Poor guy. I know he saw us at least, because he was hovering in a doorway (not literally), watching for a while. If he objected, he could have defended his space. He shook his head when I waved him into the area, so I ignored him after that. Next time I looked, he was gone. At the end of the afternoon, I herded the littles back down to Ethelathe Hall. I've decided that's what I'll call it. Might as well, considering.

Dinner, singalong. We're starting to be just elves again. Most of the human people are heading for the tavern after work and dinner, instead of here. Now that they have more options. All twenty-two new elven household employees moved in immediately. Most are sleeping in the workspaces, but I need to finagle actual rooms and beds for them soon. Real soon. They got their first taste of We Shall Overcome. It is apparently a song that resonates well, to judge by their faces.

There are still some doors I haven't investigated. I'm hoping one leads to a dormitory like the prison complex has. That would solve a lot of issues. Another level of basement with similar rooms would be better. How did I not think of doing this sooner? Instead of prowling outside, I'll prowl inside. Someplace this old is probably chock-full of hidden rooms and extra passages.

Before songtime was over, I checked my people. The new people were already sort of attached to me. Us. Ethelathe. They felt relieved. Not safe, not yet. But definitely on the way there. If these are all mine, that brings my elven population within the walls of Skyhold up. 49 from Haven, 16 randomly around, and my 22 new ones. 87 elves. Bigger than it was originally. And that's not including everyone else. I've got a small village under my care. That's mind-boggling to think about.

Dorian didn't show before bed, but I couldn't bring myself to lay on the settee. I took the bed. Maybe my dreams will be better.


	32. Day 29, 2 Bloomingtide, 9:41

Skyhold, Day 29, 2 Bloomingtide, 9:41

I'd barely managed to doze off when I heard the door open. You can't see the door from that area of the bed, so I rolled off and slipped under. I heard footsteps and the door closed. I held my breath until I heard "Chrissy?" in Dorian's golden tones.

I crawled out from under the bed and he just stared at me. "What were you doing under there?"

"I heard the door open. Figured I didn't know who it was. Took steps."

"I should have announced myself." I was sitting on the floor still when I heard a soft meow.

"Dorian? Your tunic is meowing."

"No, dear, that would be this lovely little princess." He pulled out a gorgeous black long haired kitten with a white sock and chest. "She's a purebred Minrathous long hair. And she's yours. I was lucky that Segritt and Varric found her for me in Vercheil. She's taken a few days to get here, but she's for you. What will you name her, Dove?" He placed the kitten in my lap. She was so soft. Tears spilled onto my cheeks. "Darling, I didn't mean to make you cry!"

"It's a good cry, Dorian. I was wondering what I'd do while you were gone, and you've done this. She's beautiful. Thank you, love. Irusana, she is."

"Unusual name. Does it have meaning?"

"I've named her after the Fae King of Cats."

"Faking?"

"The Fae. The elves of my home. They have several kings. One, Irusan, is, was, the King of Cats. He was killed by humans, as so many of us are." Irusana curled up where she was, making no move to leave my lap.

"Did you know him?"

"No. He was gone several ages before I was born."

Dorian abruptly changed the subject. "This little lady is why I'm so late. I had to dry her and get all her things. They're outside the room." He stepped outside and brought back some stuffed things, a pretty cat bed, a scratching post, and a box of sand, which he placed in my bathroom. "Best of all, this particular breed is familiar with manipulations of the fade, and won't generally panic if you work with the fade near them. If we're lucky, she'll be one of the rarer ones that can sense and warn of distortions."

"She must have been expensive."

"Don't worry about the price of gifts, Dove. It's rude. Shall we turn in? We'll put the princess to bed, and enjoy a last evening." He lifted the kitten and put her in the bed he'd acquired.

"All I have for you is an afghan. I made it to keep you warm." I went and got the one that reminded me of the mountains, in greens, browns, and whites. It was a simple stitch pattern, and I'd whipped it up quickly, knowing he'd have to leave. Mountains remind me of Dorian. Showy peaks for all to see, but in between, deep valleys and hidden mysteries abound.

"You made this with your own hands?" I didn't know what was in his voice, but it was something.

"Of course. How else would I make it?"

He unfolded it, and it was large enough to wrap around him three times, and made of soft fuzzy yarn that felt like it was half wool, half something else. I know it should be warm, because it sat on my lap for several songtimes and mealtimes and other randomtimes. Crocheting is something you do while you're doing something else. He unwound it, folded it carefully, and gathered me into his arms, holding tightly. He dropped his head beside mine, temples touching. "I don't think anyone's ever given me a gift they've made themselves. From the moment I was conceived, nothing was held back from me, no matter the cost. I had everything I could possibly want; the best money could buy. This is infinitely more precious. Thank you, Chrysopal." Well, he certainly has a way with words. We readied ourselves for bed, and slept, after that.

I woke to purring noises, which was odd, because Dorian didn't make those sorts of sounds. At least, I'd never heard them. It took me a moment to remember Irusana. She was curled up on the pillow next to my head, purring in her sleep. It was the first time in a long time I'd started my day by smiling.

I got up and went out. I snagged some breakfast from Cook (and some for Irusana), and went out to the main hall entrance. The day would be a little drippy, but generally dry. I looked up at the sky and there was a beautiful rainbow in the sky. It struck me as odd, and my stomach dropped. I was afraid, but I didn't know why. I was watching it for a few minutes before I realized the reason it scared me. It was backwards. Or upside down? The red on the bottom, the purple on the top. Like the doubled portion of a double rainbow, but without the primary rainbow underneath.

Varric strode up to me. "What's wrong? You're staring at the sky like it'll bite you." His words freed me to act, I suppose. I'd been standing there staring too long. And I blurted the first thing I thought.

"I hadn't realized. Oh my G…" I put my hands over my mouth for a moment. "I hadn't realized how badly he broke the sky." He'd split reality in two. He'd fractured the face of the world. I had known that, but he broke the rainbows. And I was afraid, for no damn good reason. A rainbow wasn't going to hurt me. And I needed to shut up, because I'd blurted at Varric.

I must have looked bad. Varric grasped my shoulders and turned me to look at him. "You're not making sense, Cuddles. What are you talking about? Who broke the sky?"

"Reality." I didn't mention the Who.

"Reality's always bad. Take a deep breath." I did, more to appease his concern than anything else. "That's better. Now I'm not going to ask any questions here, because I think I don't want the answers. I'm just going to tell you that life is the way it is, okay?" I nodded. He let go of my shoulders and tried to lighten the mood. "I'm leaving for Crestwood today. Any more cryptic advice for me?"

"Sure. Some dragons breathe lightning instead of fire." It was the first thing that popped into my head.

"I'm going off for who knows how long, and you give me a lecture on dragons?"

"Looks like it."

"Well, shit."

"Master Tethras."

"What?"

"I shall be most displeased if you don't come home to us safely."

"I'll be back. Don't worry. For all you hate for people to call you my lady, you sure can sound like one sometimes."

"I do not!"

"If you say so, Cuddles. You forget, I've seen you out-bark the soldiers and out-snoot visiting nobles. And then clean privies. Which one is the real you?"

"None of them. And all of them. Give me a hug so I don't forget later. I'm going to miss you." We hugged, and I headed off to do my thing. And I've never outsnooted visiting nobles. I direct them to their rooms, sending a person to show them the amenities and informing them who to have their attendants talk to about questions. That's all. I barely deal with them at all. That's all Josie. I have little interest in high school level politics with knives.

More interviews this morning. Hired another fifteen people. This time mostly male people for the fields. Mostly human, too, because mostly humans applied. Only one that could be for Ethelathe, a pretty, pretty boy who wants to work with the Harts. I say boy, but he's probably eighteen. And I'm going to have to make clear he's not an amenity. Worst is he's a real flirt. Reminds me of Zevran, honestly, but he's not lying to me if the fade ripples are to be believed, and carries no weapons. Either he believes what he says, or he's the best liar I've seen so far. Dangerous. And Very Very Pretty. I'd better warn off Dorian. This boy could be unwitting bait. I'd better warn Cara, too.

The Inquisitor and his companions were heading out just before lunch. I went down to say goodbye to them, walking from horse to horse. Inquisibabe hugged me hard, and told me to take care of everything while he was gone. I told him to be careful, and asked him to bring them all back safe. Including him, and I tweaked his nose. He said I was mean, but he smiled, hugging me again. No attempts to flirt, thank goodness. Maybe he's learned.

I hugged Dorian and Varric, but I'd already said goodbye to them, really. Sera got her squeezes in, and I mean she tries to break you with a hug. I told her I hoped she always had enough arrows, and not to get hurt. I didn't realize she liked me that much. Iron Bull picked me up to hug me, because I'm "shorter than a nug". Cole hugged me too, telling me that everyone would be safe. Boy wasn't even going. I curtsied to Vivienne, and she nodded. I spoke briefly with Blackwall, bidding him be careful.

I knew some of the soldiers they were taking with them, too. Liam and Harold, among them. Liam claimed a squinch, and Harold said he'd miss us. Others claimed hugs. Some soldiers I didn't even know claimed hugs, as well, mentioning the snowball fight. It was a bit surreal after a while. I felt like I was sending an army off to war and sending my kids out to play at the same time.

I wasn't the only one, of course. Josie got her share of hugs all around, and Cassandra gravely said goodbye. Solas watched from the causeway, nodding at Sam when Sam noticed him. Josie and Inquisibabe sort of stared at each other for a moment at the end, and Josie turned pink. He claimed the last hug, another from her, mounted, and they rode out.

I took the opportunity to address Leliana. "Sister Nightingale, do you have a moment?"

"Of course."

We wandered a little farther from everyone. "I hired a young man today to work in the stables. Elven, no Vallaslin. Pretty boy, sweet, young, flirty, very truthful. Goes by the name of Josrel. He's very. Very very. I can't find a thing wrong with him. Too perfect, maybe? Something's…" I stopped, because I wanted to say 'pinging my radar', but I can't do that. "Too perfect."

"You want someone else to look at him, find out about him?"

"I think he might remind you of someone, and I'm not sure if that's good, bad, or irrelevant. I would appreciate a second opinion. If you wouldn't mind."

She walked with me to the stables, and I asked Dennet where Josrel was. He was putting his things in the stableboy room, so we went there. I introduced him to her. When he immediately went into raptures over Leliana's eyes, lips, and skin, bowing to her, she shot me a look. I just lifted my brow. Then she turned the charm on HIM. Oh my goodness, and I thought Solas and Dorian were smooth. From what I can tell, he's just a really flirtatious puppy. She walked with me away from the stables after effusive goodbyes were given.

"Let me double-check him. You were right. He reminds me of someone. Now whether it's a personality trait or he's a deep agent of some kind, we'll have to dig for." She stopped and looked at me. "How did you recognize it? Have you met Zevran?"

"No, Ma'am." I stopped for a moment. "Can I ask you something, in confidence?"

"I can't guarantee that."

"Thank you for your honesty."

"What were you going to ask?"

"Nothing important, really."

"It must have been, for you to ask."

"I heard a phrase, and wondered where it came from and what it meant."

"You thought to ask me?"

"It was an impulse only. I'm sorry to have brought it up."

"Chrysopal, spit it out."

I sighed. "I heard this phrase. 'I am your knife in the dark.'"

She sucked in a breath. "Who did this person swear to?"

"Does it matter?"

"Yes. More than you know."

"The person said it to me."

"Who?"

"I protect my own, Lady Nightingale. I won't answer that."

She pursed her lips at me. "Interesting. That's probably why you heard that phrase."

"What does it mean?"

"Be at peace, Chrysopal. The person means no harm to you."

"I didn't doubt that. The person would never hurt me."

"You truly believe that." She did seem pleased at that. I just smiled at her. "Josie should have your assistant candidate profiles available to you by tomorrow. You can make preliminary selections, and we will bring them in to interview. I'll see what I can dig up on your Josrel, as well." We parted ways, with me no smarter, and vowing to myself not to talk to her more than I need to.

I'd already missed lunch, so I rode Drummer for an hour. Then I sought out Andrew for an hour or so of magical discussion. That ended with him starting a small fire and me making him dizzy using his own tricks. Not at the same time. Exchanging knowledge. Turns out I was right, and my Templar is indeed a mage, too. And I can Templar, a little bit. With some finesse, I'll be able to do magic "invisibly". Which would be excellent, for emergencies. One thing. Removing the dust from an area makes it VERY cold. To me, at least.

Dinner, singalong. I STILL haven't checked out those doors, damn it. I did check on Irusana during the day, a few times. She was having a wonderful time in our room. I brought some chicken back for her that evening. Josrel is sleeping in the barn, but he came for singalong time. Every elf I know currently in Skyhold, save one and the mages, showed up, in fact. 88 elves total, not counting Sera (who's not here) and Solas (who doesn't come to these things). Only a few humans, and no dwarves today. I'm glad Ethelathe Hall is large, that's for sure. I checked my threads, thrumming them as I do. I skipped one. It seems rude to do it when people notice it. Josrel isn't even vaguely connected to me. Like Garalen, at the beginning, I suppose.

Bedtime. Irusana played some sort of chase game with herself. I cleaned her box and added more sand from the sack left behind. Then bathtime and bed. Dorian did well. I felt much better with my Princess Irusana in the room with me.


	33. Continued on AO3

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